Chapter 18 New Normal
CAITLYN'S POV
Three weeks had passed since the party, and I was starting to show, not a lot, but enough that I had to start wearing loose clothes to hide the small bump. Every morning I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and felt like I was looking at a stranger.
The house had settled into what I guess was supposed to be normal but it did not feel normal at all. Collin left early every morning for work and came home late at night. When he was home he was either locked in his study or on his phone dealing with business. We barely talked except when he asked how I was feeling or if I needed anything.
I spent most of my days alone wandering around the huge empty house. Mrs Chen and the other staff tried to stay out of my way which made everything feel even more lonely. Sometimes I would sit in the living room and just stare at the walls wondering how my life had turned into this.
The only good thing was that I still had my job teaching at the church school. Three days a week, I get to leave the house and spend time with the kids and feel like a normal person. Those were the only days I did not feel like I was suffocating.
I was getting ready for work when Collin came into my room without knocking. He looked at my outfit, which was just a simple dress and cardigan, and frowned.
"You are showing," he said.
"A little bit," I admitted. "But this dress hides it pretty well."
"Maybe you should start thinking about taking some time off from work," he said casually like he was just making a suggestion. "You need to rest and take care of yourself."
"I feel fine," I said. "The doctor said I can keep working as long as I am comfortable."
"I know what the doctor said," Collin replied. "But I think it would be better if you focused on the pregnancy and getting the house ready for the baby."
I felt a flash of anger. "I do not need to focus on the house. Mrs Chen handles everything and I like teaching. It gives me something to do."
His expression changed slightly and I could see I had said the wrong thing. "What do you mean it gives you something to do? You have plenty to do here."
"Like what?" I asked before I could stop myself. "Sit around all day in this huge house by myself? At least at school I feel useful."
"You are useful," he said but his voice had an edge to it. "You are carrying my child. That is the most important job you have right now."
I wanted to tell him it was not his child but obviously I could not say that. Instead, I just picked up my bag and headed toward the door.
"We will talk about this later," Collin said. "But I really think you should consider taking a break from teaching."
"I will think about it," I lied and left before he could say anything else.
The drive to the church school took about twenty minutes, and the whole way there, I felt angry. Collin had no right to tell me I should quit my job. It was the only thing in my life that still felt like mine. Everything else belonged to him or was controlled by him.
When I got to the school the kids were already in the classroom waiting. They ran up to me with hugs and stories about their weekends, and for a little while, I could forget about everything else. This was why I needed to keep teaching. These kids made me feel like I mattered.
"Miss Caitlyn you have a baby in your tummy?" one of the little girls asked during reading time.
I had been trying to hide it but clearly I was not doing a very good job. "Yes I do," I said and smiled. "Are you excited to meet the baby?"
All the kids started talking at once about babies and siblings and I let them chatter for a while before getting them back to their lesson. It felt good to talk about the pregnancy in a way that was normal and happy instead of complicated and stressful.
After school, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things. As I was walking down the aisle I saw someone watching me from the end of the row. It was a man in a dark jacket and sunglasses which seemed weird because we were inside. When I looked at him directly he turned and walked away.
I told myself I was being paranoid but it made me uncomfortable. I finished shopping quickly and went to my car. As I was loading the groceries into the trunk I saw the same man sitting in a car a few spaces away. He was definitely watching me.
My hands started shaking as I got into my car and locked the doors. Who was that man? Was he following me? I sat there for a minute trying to decide what to do. Finally, I just started the car and drove home as fast as I could.
When I got to the house, Collin was already home, which was unusual for the middle of the afternoon. He was in the living room on his phone and looked up when I walked in.
"You are home early," I said.
"I had a meeting canceled," he said and put his phone down. "How was work?"
"Fine," I said and decided not to mention the man at the grocery store. "The kids are excited about the baby."
"That is nice," Collin said but he was not really listening. "Listen, Caitlyn, I have been thinking about what we talked about this morning. I really do think you should stop teaching."
"We already discussed this," I said and felt my frustration rising again. "I want to keep working."
"It is not safe," he said.
"What do you mean it is not safe?" I asked. "It is a church school, nothing is going to happen to me there."
Collin stood up and walked over to me. "You do not understand the kind of world I work in. Some people might try to use you to get to me. I need to know you are safe at home where I can protect you."
"That is ridiculous," I said. "Nobody even knows who I am."
"You are my wife," he said firmly. "People know who you are and I will not take any chances with your safety or the baby's safety."
I could see there was no point in arguing with him right now. When Collin made up his mind about something, he did not change it, but I was not going to just give up my job without a fight.
"Can we at least talk to the doctor about it?" I asked. "If the doctor says it is okay for me to keep working then can I?"
Collin was quiet for a minute. "Fine. We will ask the doctor at your next appointment, but if there is even a small risk, I want you to stop."
"Okay," I agreed because at least that gave me some time.
I picked up my phone to call my best friend Rachel but then I remembered that Collin had insisted on adding parental controls to my phone for security reasons. Could he see who I was calling? Could he read my texts?