Chapter 93 Chapter 93
The next morning, I felt much more better than I did the previous day, so I decided to stop sulking and leave the room, at least to get some fresh air. The moment I stepped out, I overheard two servants talking, their voice hushed but still clear enough for me to understand what they were saying.
“It’s tragic. But maybe it’s a sign” one murmured.
“A sign of what?” The other one sounded so curious.
“That’s she’s not blessed. Some women aren’t. And I believe this happened because she’s not supposed to be with the alpha” the first girl explained.
“That could be true”
I couldn’t move any further. I waited until their footsteps faded before I turned back to return to the room.
Lucian came in seconds later and suggested we have breakfast together but I told him I wasn’t hungry. I sat on my bed feeling sad and lonely. When children’s laughter echoed from the courtyard, I closed the window.
I didn’t want to hear those sounds. It reminded me of what I had lost. Maybe the servants were right and I’m actually cursed and I’m not supposed to be Luna. Was this a sign?
‘No’ my wolf said simply. ‘It’s time for you to stop this. You are stronger than this’ she encouraged me.
But I didn’t think I had it in me to be strong. I didn’t even know where to start from.
‘Start by leaving this room. People would talk and that’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong’
Maybe, she was right. I didn’t have strength to argue with my wolf and so I decided to leave the room. I needed the air. So I left my room once again.
I sat on the low stone bench at the far edge of the pack grounds, where the trees thickened and the noise thinned. The air smelled of earth and pine. Somewhere deeper in the woods, birds called to one another.
I had come here without thinking. My feet had carried me away from walls, from whispers, from the careful looks that followed me wherever I went now.
I folded my hands in my lap and stared at them. They looked the same.
That was the cruelest part. Ky body looked unchanged, whole, as if nothing had been taken from me at all.
‘We need to be strong’ my wolf's voice was faint, roughened by exhaustion, but it was there.
Her pain curled around my heart, wounded but still breathing. I closed my eyes.
“I don’t know how to be strong” I said to my wolf.
“We don't get to choose when we are strong” my wolf replied.
“Only whether we stand or disappear” I swallowed.
Nearby, not close enough to see me but close enough that I could hear their voices, two servants spoke in low, ambiguous tones.
“I told you. From the moment she arrived, I felt it. Plus those marks are unnatural. They said it was going to bring harm to the pack and look what happened”
“She was bound to bring trouble. Rogues always do. And this? Losing an heir so soon?” The other agreed. My chest tightened.
“Maybe the Moon Goddess is warning us”
“Or punishing the Alpha for choosing her. Don’t you think?” The first voice murmured.
Tired of hearing what they were saying, I stood abruptly. The bench scraped softly against the ground as I rose, my breath coming too fast. I didn’t wait to hear more. Each word felt like a deeper cut in my heart. I walked away, then I increased my steps and then I ran. I turned a corner near the corridors and collided with someone.
“Careful” Dahlia said lightly. I froze at her voice.
Dahlia stood before me, her lips curved into a smirk and she crossed her arms. Her eyes flickered over me from head to toe and her eyes rested on mid region.
“Well, you look terrible” she continued, her voice smooth. I tried to step past her.
“Oh no. Don’t run off yet” she said, shifting to block my path.
“I was just thinking about you. I heard what happened and I wanted to offer my sympathy” I curled my hands at my side.
“Move” Dahlia laughed softly at that.
“You still have that temper. I thought you would be a bit calmer. I suppose grief does that to you” I lifted my head, my eyes burning.
“Get out of my way” she leaned closer instead, lowering her voice.
“You know, people are talking. They say it’s tragic of course but not surprising. After all, what do you expect from a rogue” my breath caught.
“What are you talking about?” Dahlia tilted her head.
“Losing a baby. Some women just aren’t meant to carry that kind of responsibility. Sorry, let me rephrase that statement. Rogue women aren’t meant to carry that kind of responsibility” the words landed like a blow.
“You couldn’t even carry it to term” she said mockingly. “A Luna who can’t produce an heir? It’s embarrassing, really”
“You have no right to speak about my child. You aren’t ashamed of yourself, can you boast about a pregnancy. I forgot, you don’t even have a mate. You are so obsessed with someone who doesn’t even see you!” I spoke back with anger. She glared at me but she didn’t back down.
“At least, I’ve never lost a child. I would know if I had a child growing in me unlike you”
Something shattered in me then, I didn’t trust my voice. I turned and fled.
I didn’t see where I was going, I only felt the burn in my lungs and the sting in my eyes. The pack house blurred as I ran up the stairs, down the corridor, into my room. I slammed the door behind me and sank to the floor, my back pressed against it as sobs tore free at last. I whimpered, a broken sound that echoed.
I shouldn’t have left my room. I regretted stepping out of here. I didn’t know how long I cried before I heard a knock.
“Ailsa?” Lina’s voice was low. “It’s me” she said when I didn’t respond. I moved away from the door so she could open it like she usually does.
She dropped to her knees beside me instantly, her arms wrapping around me without asking. I collapsed into her, my fingers clutching the back of her dress as if she were the only solid thing left in the world.
“Everything is going to be fine” she said soothingly. Her hand rubbing my back.
“It won’t” I cried in her arms.
“Trust me Ailsa, it’ll get better. I’m here for you”
“She said…” my voice cracked. “She said I couldn’t even carry my baby to term. That I wasn’t ever going to” Lina stiffened.
“Who?”
“Dahlia” I sobbed harder. “She says everyone’s saying I’m a problem. That I’m….I’m less and I shouldn’t be Luna” Lina pulled back just enough to look at her, fury blazing through her tears.
“That’s a lie. Every word of it. You are the only and right Luna” I shook my head.
“I feel like it’s true. First, it was the mysterious mark and all the problems it came with. Now this. To crown it all, I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I didn’t protect my child. What kind of Luna- what kind of woman…”
The door slammed open. Both of us looked up. Lucian stood in the doorway, his chest heaving, his eyes dark and dangerous. He had clearly heard everything. My breath hitched, shame flooded came, hot and sudden.
“I didn’t mean for you to hear that” I mumbled. He crossed the room with hurried steps.
“It doesn’t matter, I already heard it. Who said this to you?” I remained silent.
“There’s no need hiding it. If you don’t speak, I’ll have all the servants whipped until you speak” I looked at him and I saw the seriousness in his eyes.
I still didn’t want to talk because I hoped that he was just threatening me with it but Lina beat me to it.
“Dahlia” she answered, her voice shaking with anger.
Something in Lucian’s expression went still. It was deadly. He turned without another word and left the room.
“Lucian!!!” I scrambled to my feet and followed him. He was already halfway down the corridor, moving fast.
“Lucian, wait” I called, panic slicing through my voice. “Please” he didn’t slow down.
I caught up with him at the stairs, grabbing his arm.
“Please don’t go”
He stopped then, turning to face me. His eyes softened for a second when he saw my tear-streaked face.
“She humiliated you” he said quietly.
“I know” I whispered.
“But if you do something you can’t take back…” his jaw clenched. He nodded once and pulled his arm free.
“I’m not going to kill her if that’s what you’re worried about” I shook my head but he continued walking.
We found Dahlia in the lower hall, giving command to two others. She faltered when she saw Lucian approaching.
“Lucian” she said with a wide smile.
“On your knees”