Chapter 45 Blinded by Jealousy
Astrid keeps struggling against Soren’s grip while I just stare blankly at what I’ve heard. What do I do now? I’m too reckless with my decisions and beliefs.
What should I do? Is this really who I am? I grew up in a world where decisions have reasons behind them. I lived in a world that always looks for an explanation.
In the human world, we only believe what we see and hear.
We don’t have blue fire that shows the future. We don’t have ‘destined’ partners we can feel when they’re near. And we definitely can’t travel to the past to see events that affect what’s happening now.
I wouldn’t have believed Princess Tatiana if she didn’t show and play things I could hold onto, things she accused not just all of Igor, but also Wisteria’s second prince of doing.
I am just a girl from the other world. Everything is very different.
Why didn’t they let me live quietly in this world for a few years first? Far from this chaos, far from the revelations that shock me now, and far from the lies that confuse me.
They should have let me know, learn, and study how this world works first. Because right now, I have nothing to hold onto, no foundation to stand on for what’s happening.
Is it my fault for trusting the princess, the only being in this world who also came from mine? I thought she’d understand how I feel because I know she went through what I’m going through now.
I want to hold onto what she said and showed me. I can’t doubt her even though Astrid practically slapped me with the idea that the princess was lying. I know in my heart she wasn’t lying to me.
I can see the pain in her eyes. I can feel the coldness of her voice. I can sense she cares about me.
That princess is telling the truth.
Questions flood my mind. Every vampire I face has their own explanation that only confuses me more. Part of me wants to run back to Kaizer, but I’m scared of the words I said, scared to see his cold eyes, scared he’ll push me away for good.
I never thought I could say such sharp, hurtful words to the prince who loves me so much. I was consumed by jealousy, every time I remember how they kissed, Kaizer’s sweet words to Cosette, and how he kept saying her name, my blood boiled and I couldn’t filter what I said.
I am blinded by my jealousy.
He made me believe I was the only woman he loved. Seeing another woman in his arms, another woman kissed by his lips, and hearing another woman’s name from his beautiful voice, I know I can’t calm myself down.
I ran away from him because it hurt to hear Cosette’s name from him. I was scared she’d come back to life and make me feel like just some lowly destined woman.
“What now? Are you going to cry all day, Saera? Won’t you fix your stupidity? Or do you still refuse to believe me? What do you think I’ll gain from lying to you? After all, I’d rather you just go back to your world.”
She stops struggling against Soren and just raises an eyebrow at me now.
“You’re so blunt,” Soren comments.
“I am,” Astrid answers quickly.
“He won’t accept me anymore,” I say softly.
“I’ve prayed for that so many times, Saera, that my brother won’t accept you anymore. But it’s impossible. So impossible. Get up before I lose my patience completely.”
Idris blocks us again.
“Don’t force her, vampire!” Idris shouts loudly.
Soren blocks Astrid right away.
“Hey, you can’t shout like that at my mate, Idris.”
Astrid raises her eyebrow even higher. Instead of answering Soren, Idris just shakes his head at how his friend suddenly changed.
This ‘mate thing’ is damn amazing. It can twist a situation in an instant.
“You’re actually useful, wolf.”
Astrid pushes her hair back then pats Soren’s shoulder.
“Do you think having a vampire mate is free? I’ll rape you afterwards.”
Astrid and I almost gasp at Soren’s reply, but Astrid recovers fast and raises her eyebrow again.
“How sweet of you,” she answers sarcastically.
“Let her go, Idris. She is not your mate,” Soren says seriously.
Idris holds his right arm out in front of me.
“The vampire already hurt her, there’s no telling she won’t do it again,” Idris says firmly.
Astrid would have lost it if Soren didn’t stop her.
“How dare you! That woman hurt my brother! How did she hurt you, Saera? Tell me! Is it again about Cosette?!”
I close my eyes when I hear her name again.
“I’ll go, Idris.”
I touch his arm gently.
“Saera…” he whispers, like he can’t believe what I said.
“Then it’s settled. Let’s go.”
Astrid turns her back on us and Soren follows right away, putting his arm around her. I can’t see them anymore as I face Idris.
I bow to him quickly.
“Sorry for calling you. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess, your friends got involved, you had to fight because of me. Some got hurt, some got wounded, and some might even be in danger. I just got to this world and already so many people are affected because of me.”
I feel him hold both my shoulders.
“We owe you, Saera, my whole pack will carry what you did for us for life. I’ll carry the first smile you gave me for life.”
I close my eyes as he gently strokes my long hair.
“Humans are very complicated. I thought I had a chance, you called my name in front of that bold vampire.”
He shrugs and gives me a soft smile.
I don’t know why my hands suddenly feel alive. I gently stroke the kind face of the man in front of me.
“Someday you’ll meet the woman meant for you, Idris. I’m happy I have a friend, a very handsome wolf.”
He touches my hand gently.
“I thought goddesses only came from the moon, Saera. I never thought I’d get to meet a very beautiful goddess with fangs.”
I close my eyes as he kisses my forehead.
“I want to take you there, but I don’t want to make it harder for you, it’ll be hard to talk to the second prince if he sees us together.”
“Idris…”
“You’re always free to come back.”