134. The Truth

134. The Truth
I felt exhausted; Leia, Baron, and Aiden had to help with Teddy and I with the last dark relic, but I don’t remember destroying it. Other than, Teddy said, I had done it. I was struggling to stay calm; my skin felt like it had fire just under it.  We were sitting around the table, but no one would look at me, just Teddy.  

He was the only one, and it felt weird. I didn’t know why everyone was avoiding my gaze. It made no sense to me. I looked in the mirror this morning when I woke up. Nothing looked terribly off to me. I had a little more red in my eyes, but that was it. “What is the update on Ava and Wes” I asked aloud.  

It felt weird speaking, like I must have something pressing down on my tongue, but my voice still sounded like my voice. I saw the slight tremble in Aiden at my question, and I didn’t understand. “I located them the day before we did the ritual.” Baron responded. “Then why aren’t they here.” I snapped at him.  

Everyone was silent. I noticed that Leia’s hair began to stand, why was it doing that? Teddy reached across the table and held my hand. “Love deep breaths, okay, you have a lot of power and you're making the air full of static.” What? That made no sense. I tried to relax, but I found it almost impossible, but it must have been enough, because when I looked back at Leia, her hair had relaxed back down.  

“Good, save that anger for Malachar.” Teddy cooed but kept his hand on mine. “So when will they get here, we could use both Ava and Wes to take down Malachar.” I said again, my stomach grumbled. I wondered where the vein bound were, because I wanted my breakfast. “They aren’t coming to Astor Hall, Beatrix.” Aiden said, still avoiding looking at me. “What? Why? We could use their help.” I snapped again my hand ripping from Teddy and I caught a whiff, I knew it when I smelt it, blood. My whole head swirled to see where it was.  

Teddy’s hand had blood on it. How had he been cut, my nails were not that long. But I was hungry and he smelt good. I licked my lips. Teddy wrapped it quickly in a napkin “Baron and Leia, please go get the blood.” He said as I continued to look at the blood pooling in his napkin. “I am not letting my wife and my last living friend be around you, you can’t even look at the man you supposedly love without thinking about drinking him dry.” I heard Aiden mumble, under his breath.  

Before I knew what I was doing anger seized me and I lunged, only to be pulled back from behind someone yelling “Hurry up with that blood” My hair was pulled and my head followed my teeth gnashing then a wine bottle was shoved in my mouth, and I began to guzzle. “You have to tell her Theo” I heard Leia say. “It would be best while she is drinking, just keep the blood coming while we speak, please.” Teddy said, I just drank.  

“Beatrix, you know you took in Malachars’ power each time you destroyed the relics.” I did know that, but I didn’t answer I was too thirsty to stop, and the blood I was drinking was fresh and satisfying.  

“Yes, well it has not been good for you. I went back and reread his journals and tried to see if it did this to your father when he destroyed some of the dark artifacts, but his power wasn’t as destructive as your natural one. It did affect him, but not the way it has been affecting you.” I wanted to ask what he meant by that. Teddy had to have read my thoughts because he responded as Leia handed me the next bottle.  

“You need massive amounts of blood for one. You also are always on the verge of loosing your temper and lashing out. You don’t sleep well,” I couldn’t help but think, I slept fine. “I have been using my gift to make you sleep. Also I have been the one to keep you calm and blocking the pain and anger that flare as often as every five minutes.” I had no recollection of any of that.  

“That is because I have been taking the memories so you don’t flip out. You have tried to attack everyone in Astor Hall, some of us more than once.” He couldn’t be serious, I would know if I was being a savage as Teddy was describing. I took the third bottle and began to drink it. “I am being serious after every relic; you have completely lost it. It is almost impossible for me to hold you back at this point it is why I am even telling you now.” 

Teddy continued after a long pause “All those times you have been confused it has been me trying to calm you, but I can’t, not fully anymore at least. It takes all my effort to shield you from yourself; you are just too strong now. But if we are going to take on Malachar, I will need access to my full power. It is the only reason I am telling you now. You need to control yourself, just for a little bit. Even now it is hard to keep your calm.”  

I snatched the fourth wine bottle of fresh blood and began to drink, my mind spinning at the news Teddy was telling me. What did he mean to shield me from myself. Hearing my thoughts Teddy responded, “I mean, how you look, when you lash out at people, and the anger and insanity.” He said softly, my eyes narrowed on him.  

What was he even saying or talking about, I felt fine. It was like he was saying I was more beast than a vampire. “Beatrix, without me in your head, you” He paused his voice shaking a little now as he said. “You are the bigger monster.”