Chapter 85 Learning to Be Monster
KAEL
I couldn't sleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Elena. Not twisted by death. But as she was before. Laughing. Alive. Loving me despite knowing what I was.
And I saw the moment I chose wrong. The moment that killed her.
"You're doing it again." Sera's voice cut through my spiral. She sat in the window seat watching dawn break. "Drowning in guilt that won't change anything."
"She was right. About all of it."
"Maybe. But being right doesn't make her plan acceptable." Sera turned to me. "She wants to kill you. Slowly. Painfully. That's not love. That's vengeance."
"What if it's both?" I stood. Moved to the window. "Three days until the next Shade. And it'll be stronger. Harder to beat without letting the void win."
"Then we train. We prepare." She grabbed my hand. "Nyx showed you how once. She can teach you properly."
"Nyx can barely stand."
"Then we find another way. Arianna. Theron." Her grip tightened. "But we don't give up. We fight."
"What if every time I use void power, I lose a piece I can't get back?"
"Then we anchor you better. Build stronger tethers." She pulled me close. "We're clever and stubborn and too mean to quit. We'll find a way."
I wanted to believe her.
But I felt it. The void. Always there. Always hungry. Always whispering promises if I just let go.
"Your Majesty." Marcus appeared in the doorway. "You have visitors. The resistance. Rowan Cross and his people. They say it's urgent."
"Who?"
"They forced their way in claiming they have information about the Shades." Marcus hesitated. "They also brought a prisoner."
"What kind of prisoner?"
"A mage. Human. Claims he was hired to help with the summoning circles. Wants asylum in exchange for information." Marcus's face was grim. "He's badly injured. Looks like someone tried to silence him."
"Elena."
We entered the throne room. Found Rowan and five resistance fighters surrounding a bleeding human.
"Your Majesty." Rowan bowed barely. "We found him crawling through the Shadowlands. Thought you might want to hear what he has to say before he bleeds out."
I knelt beside the mage. "Who hired you?"
"A woman. Vampire. Beautiful. Said her name was Elena." He coughed blood. "Paid well. Too well."
"What did she hire you to do?"
"Create summoning circles. Anchor points for void creatures." His eyes were fading. "The next Shade arrives in three days. Dawn. In the old throne room beneath the palace. Where the first blood king died."
"Why there?"
"Death calls to death. The old king's blood soaked into those stones. Perfect anchors." He grabbed my arm. "But there's more. She's building something. A vessel. For you."
"A vessel?"
"When the void consumes you completely. She wants to trap you. Contain you. Use you." His grip tightened. "A walking weapon made of void and rage. Controlled. Directed."
Horror crawled up my spine. "She wants to turn me into a weapon?"
"An immortal king made of death itself. Unable to die. Unable to stop. Unable to do anything but destroy." He coughed. "She called it mercy. Said you wouldn't feel pain anymore. Just... be."
"That's torture." Sera's voice was ice. "Eternal torture."
"She sees it as saving you from suffering." The mage's eyes closed. "The vessel's almost ready. Three days. If you become void before then, she can't capture you. But if you hold out..." He didn't finish.
"Where is the vessel?"
"I don't know. She kept that secret." His breathing was shallow. "But the next Shade is key. If you beat it without losing yourself, she has to move faster. Get desperate."
"And if I lose?"
"Then she wins. Either you die or you become void. Either way, you stop being you." His hand fell away. "I'm sorry. Didn't understand what I was helping create. Thought it was revenge. Not eternal damnation."
He died. Right there. Another victim of Elena's twisted love.
"Well." Rowan's voice cut through the silence. "Your dead wife's crazier than I thought. And I thought she was pretty crazy based on the whole 'came back from death' thing."
"This isn't helpful, Rowan."
"Neither is standing here. You need to act. Need to stop her before she finishes that vessel." He moved closer. "The resistance can help. We know the old quarter. Know the summoning sites. We can find her. Stop her. Before the next Shade arrives."
"Why help?" Sera's voice was suspicious. "You hate the throne. Hate vampires. Why risk your people for us?"
"Because if Elena turns your husband into a walking void weapon, she won't stop at her enemies. She'll aim him at everyone. Including humans. Including half-bloods. Including anyone who ever wronged her or Kael or the throne." Rowan's face was hard. "My issues with the throne are political. Hers are personal. And personal vengeance doesn't care about collateral damage."
He was right. Damn him. He was right.
"Fine. We work together. For now." I looked at him. "But if you betray us, if you use this to hurt my family, I'll show you exactly what void power can do before Elena ever gets the chance."
"Noted. Now can we please start planning before your wife kills us all?"
We moved to the war room. Spread maps. Marked summoning sites Rowan's people had found. Planned assault strategies.
But underneath everything, I felt it. The clock ticking. Three days until the next Shade. Three days until I had to fight void with void again. Three days until I lost another piece of myself.
"Kael." Arianna pulled me aside. Away from the planning. "We need to talk. About what happens if you lose. If the void wins."
"Then you kill me. Quickly. Before Elena can capture whatever I become."
"I was hoping you'd say that." She pulled out a small vial. Black liquid that seemed to absorb light. "Void poison. Condensed. Concentrated. One drop would kill a normal vampire instantly. For you, in void form, it'd be slower. Painful. But permanent."
"Where did you get that?"
"I made it. After you came back. After I saw what you were becoming." Her face was apologetic. "I'm sorry. But I had to prepare for the worst. Had to have a contingency if you became a danger to the realm. To Sera. To Nyx."
"Don't apologize. You did the right thing." I took the vial. "If I become void. If I lose myself. You use this. Promise me. Don't let Elena turn me into her weapon."
"I promise. But only if there's no other choice. Only if you're truly gone." She gripped my arm. "We're not giving up on you, Kael. We're just being realistic about possibilities."
"I know. Thank you. For caring enough to plan my death properly."
She smiled. Sad. "What's family for?"
I returned to the planning table. Slipped the vial into my pocket. Insurance. Backup plan. Mercy I could control.
"Alright." I addressed everyone. "Here's what we do. We split into teams. One searches for the vessel. One prepares the old throne room for confrontation. One stays with Nyx and protects her in case this is all distraction."
"And what do you do?" Sera asked.
"I train. With Arianna and anyone else who knows void magic. I learn to control this thing before it controls me." I met her eyes. "Three days isn't much time. But it's what we have. So we use every second."
"What about Elena? About finding her?"
"She'll come to us. When the Shade arrives. When the battle begins. She'll be there to watch. To judge. To see if I fall." I touched the vial in my pocket. "And if I do fall, if the void wins, someone ends it fast. Before she gets what she wants."
"We're not planning your death."
"We're planning for all possibilities. That's what smart rulers do." I pulled her close. Kissed her hard. "But I'm not planning to die. I'm planning to win. To beat the Shade and keep my soul and show Elena that love doesn't mean destruction."
"And if you can't?"
"Then I trust you to do what's necessary. To protect Nyx. To protect the kingdom. To let me go." I held her gaze. "Can you do that? Can you kill me if you have to?"
She was silent for a long moment. Then nodded. "If there's no other choice. If you're truly gone. Then yes. I can. I will."
"Good. Then we have a plan."
We dispersed. Teams forming. Strategies developing. Preparation for battle that might decide everything.
I moved to the training rooms. To Arianna who waited with books and components and grim determination.
"Ready to learn how to be a monster?" she asked.
"No. But teach me anyway."
Three days.
To master void. To find Elena. To stop the vessel. To save myself.
Three days to do the impossible.
Again.