Chapter 34 Lira loss of control
Lira POV
The heat was building faster now. Aria's tea could only do so much. I stripped down to my underclothes and lay on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position that didn't make everything worse.
My skin felt electrified. Every brush of fabric sent sparks through my nervous system. And underneath it all, the constant pull toward Kael. Like a compass needle pointing north, my body knew exactly where he was in the packhold.
Three floors down. In the council chambers, probably dealing with the curse-sickness case from this morning.
I pressed my palm against my lower abdomen, feeling the heat radiating from there. This was natural, I told myself. Biology. Every female went through this eventually.
Except most females went through it with willing partners. Not mate bonds forged in violence and prophecy, tied to alphas who treated tenderness like weakness.
Hours crawled by. I drifted in and out of fevered sleep, dreaming of Kael's hands, his mouth, the way he'd moved against me at the temple. Each dream left me more desperate and more hollow.
Around midnight, footsteps stopped outside my door.
I knew those footsteps. Heavy, measured, controlled.
"Lira." His voice was rough through the wood. "Let me in."
"Go away." I curled into a tighter ball, fighting every instinct that screamed to obey.
"Your scent is driving every unmated male in this packhold insane. I've already had to break up two fights."
"Not my problem."
Silence. Then: "You're in pain."
"I'll manage. I always do."
More silence. I thought maybe he'd left. Then the door shook as his fist slammed against it. "Damn it, Lira! Stop being stubborn and let me help you."
"Help?" I laughed, the sound bitter. "Like you helped this morning when you couldn't get away fast enough? When you made sure I knew I was just an inconvenience?"
"That's not" He exhaled harshly. "I'm trying to protect you."
"From what? You?" Another wave of heat rolled through me, making me gasp despite myself. "I don't need your protection. I don't need anything from you."
The lie hurt to say. But I'd learned from him—how to build walls, how to hide weakness, how to survive by needing no one.
"The blood moon is tomorrow night." His voice dropped lower, almost pleading. "If you go through this alone during the blood moon, it could kill you. The mate bond will tear you apart trying to reach me."
"Then maybe you should have thought of that before you made it clear I'm just biology to you."
"Lira"
"Go take care of your pack, Alpha." I forced sternness into my voice. "I'm sure Mira would be happy to help you through any... difficulties."
I heard his sharp intake of breath. Then his footsteps retreated down the corridor, each one feeling like another piece of me breaking off and following him.
Selwyn whimpered in my mind. We need him. Why won't you let him in?
"Because needing him gives him power." I pressed my face into the pillow, finally letting the tears come. "And I can't survive giving him more power over me."
But even as I said it, my body betrayed me. My temperature spiked higher. The ache between my thighs became unbearable. And through it all, the mate bond pulsed with Kael's frustrated desire, his protective fury, his own agony at staying away.
Tomorrow night, when the blood moon rose, one of us would break.
I just prayed it wouldn't be me.
Finally the blood moon rose in the sky. I watched it through my window, feeling the exact moment its light touched my skin. Heat exploded through my body with such intensity I collapsed to my knees, gasping.
"No, no, no." I crawled toward the bed, every movement agony and ecstasy. "I can do this. I can"
Another wave hit, this one stealing my breath completely. My wolf Selwyn was going insane, howling for our mate. The mate bond stretched taut between us, like a desperate need.
I tore off my clothes, my skin too hot, too tight. Even the cool air felt like flame against my fevered flesh. Slick heat pooled between my thighs, my body preparing for something I'd denied it.
Through the bond, I felt Kael. His own struggle, his iron control fracturing under the blood moon's pull. He was fighting it just like I was.
But we were both losing.
I don't know how long I writhed there, caught between pride and need. Minutes? Hours? Time lost meaning under the crimson light. My body moved of its own accord, seeking relief that wouldn't come, not without him.
Then my door crashed open.
Kael stood in the doorway, chest heaving, eyes blazing-gold. He'd partially shifted—claws extended, fangs visible, alpha power radiating off him in waves.
"I tried." His voice was barely human, guttural and rough. "I tried to stay away."
I should have told him to leave. Should have clung to my pride, my anger, my walls. But when I opened my mouth, what came out was: "Kael, please."
He was across the room in an instant, pulling me into his arms. The moment our skin touched, relief crashed through both of us so intense it was almost painful.
"Mine," he growled against my throat. "My mate, my Luna."
"Yes." I arched into him, desperate for more contact. "Yes, yours."
His mouth found mine, claiming it with bruising intensity. No gentleness now, just raw need and possession. I matched him kiss for kiss, bite for bite, my own claws emerging to rake down his back, leaving red trails that made him hiss.
He groaned into my mouth, the sound vibrating through my chest like a drumbeat of lust. His hands roamed everywhere, mapping my body like territory he was claiming—squeezing my breasts, pinching my nipples until they ached, sliding down to grip my ass hard enough to bruise. When his fingers slid between my thighs, finding me slick and ready, we both shuddered. My pussy was drenched, swollen lips parting easily for his thick fingers as he plunged two inside me without warning, curling them to stroke that sensitive spot deep within.
"So wet for me," he rasped, pumping his fingers in and out, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet room. "Even while you were pushing me away, your cunt was begging for my cock."