Chapter 33 The Heat Approaches
Lira's POV
Something was wrong with me.
I'd made it halfway down the corridor from Kael's chambers when the first wave hit. Heat flooded my veins, starting low in my belly and spreading outward until my skin felt too tight.
I pressed my palm against the cold stone wall, breathing hard.
"Just trial exhaustion," I muttered. "You're fine."
But I wasn't fine. Every nerve ending felt raw, hypersensitive. The brush of my clothes against my skin sent shivers down my spine. And underneath it all, a gnawing emptiness that made me want to turn around, run back to Kael's room, and.
"No." I forced myself forward. "Absolutely not."
Our mate, Selwyn whispered, restless and needy. We need him. Go back.
"He made it very clear we're just a biological necessity."
The words hurt more than my bruised ribs. I'd felt something shift between us last night when he held me through the fever. His gentle hands, the way he'd murmured comfort, the protective fury rolling off him—it had all felt real.
Then morning came, and the walls went back up. As if caring for me had been a weakness he needed to correct.
I stumbled into my small room and locked the door. The space felt suffocating suddenly, too warm despite the winter chill outside. I stripped off my clothes and splashed cold water on my face from the washbasin.
It didn't help.
Another wave crashed through me, stronger this time. I gripped the basin edge, knuckles white, as my body betrayed me with need I couldn't name. Every breath brought Kael's scent—dark pine and storm-touched earth—as if he'd marked me again somehow during the night.
A knock made me jump.
"Lira? It's Aria. Can I come in?"
I pulled on a loose shirt and opened the door. The healer took one look at me and her eyes widened.
"Oh honey, you're going into heat."
"What?" Panic spiked through me. "No, that's not—I've never"
"First heats trigger when you find your mate." She guided me back to the bed, professional hands checking my temperature. "Especially powerful ones, the bond wants to be sealed completely, so it's forcing the issue."
I thought of Kael's hands on my skin, his mouth claiming mine at the temple, the way our bodies had fit together. Incomplete but unfinished..
"How long?" My voice came out breathless.
"You have maybe a day before it peaks. Two if you're lucky." She pulled herbs from her satchel, mixing them quickly. "This tea will help with the symptoms, but it won't stop what's coming."
"Can I... can I go through it alone?" The thought of facing Kael like this, needing him when he'd made his feelings clear, made humiliation burn through me.
Aria's expression turned sad. "Technically yes. But unmated heat is agony, Lira. Your body will crave your mate's touch, his scent, his"
"I get it." I took the offered tea, grimacing at the bitter taste. "What's the alternative?"
"Let him claim you properly to complete the bond."
I laughed, the sound hollow. "He doesn't want me that way. I'm just convenient."
"Are you sure about that?" Aria sat beside me, her tone gentle. "I've seen the way he watches you when he thinks no one's looking."
"He watched me nearly die in the combat trials and did nothing."
"Because you asked him not to." She squeezed my hand. "Alpha males are complicated creatures. Kael spent eleven years learning not to need anyone. You're terrifying to him."
Another wave hit, this one accompanied by a low ache that made me whimper. Aria's tea was already helping—the sharp edge of sensation dulling to something bearable—but I could feel the real heat building underneath.
"There's something else." Aria's voice turned serious. "The blood moon is tomorrow night. If your heat peaks during a blood moon..."
"It'll be stronger."
"Exponentially. And everyone with working nose will know. Unmated males might challenge Kael for you."
Perfect. As if this situation wasn't complicated enough.
Aria left more tea and instructions to rest. I tried. But rest was impossible when every cell in my body screamed for something I couldn't have without destroying what little dignity I had left.
By evening, word had spread. I could hear pack members whispering as they passed my door. Some are sympathetic. Others are speculating. A few laughing at the cursed girl finally brought low by biology.
I buried my face in my pillow, inhaling deeply. Kael's scent still clung to me from last night. It soothed and inflamed in equal measure.
Let me out, Selwyn begged. I'll find him. I'll make him understand.
"No. We're not begging."
But goddess, I wanted to. The emptiness inside me was growing teeth, gnawing at my resolve. I pressed my thighs together, trying to ease the ache building there. It didn't help. Nothing helped except the ghost memory of Kael's hands.
Another knock. Sharper this time.
"I know you're in there." Mira's voice dripped with false sweetness. "Can we talk?"
I pulled on pants and opened the door a crack. "What do you want?"
She pushed inside before I could stop her, her dark eyes assessing me with predatory interest. "Heard you're going into heat. That's... unfortunate timing."
"If you came to gloat"
"I came to offer advice." She perched on my chair with grace. "Kael doesn't do commitment. He doesn't have feelings, you felt it this morning, didn't you? The way he pushed you away?"
I said nothing, but she read my expression anyway.
"He's been with me, you know. Multiple times." Her smile was pure mischief.
The words shouldn't have hurt. But they did, like fire burning through flesh.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because you should know what you're getting into." She stood, moving closer. "He'll use you during the heat. Take what the bond offers. But afterward? You'll just be another warm body he's finished with."
"Get out."
"I'm trying to help you."
"By telling me about your sex life?" I moved toward the door, opening it wide. "Leave. Now."
Her expression hardened. "You think you're special because of some ancient bloodline? You're still just a scared little girl who doesn't know the first thing about being a Luna."
"And you're a bitter woman clinging to a man who doesn't want her." The words came out cold, controlled. "At least I'm not pathetic enough to fight for scraps."
For a moment, I thought she might attack. Her wolf flashed in her eyes, dark and furious. Then she smiled again, this one genuine and cruel.
"We'll see who's pathetic when the blood moon rises. When you're writhing and desperate, begging him to touch you." She paused at the threshold. "He'll enjoy that. The powerful Moonblood reduced to a needy mess."
She left, her laughter echoing down the corridor.
I slammed the door and leaned against it, shaking. Not from fear—from rage and humiliation and the terrible knowledge that she might be right.