Chapter 41

I hurried back to my room with barely enough time to get ready before Dawson was supposed to be there. I was surprised to see Jacie there when I walked in. She was flipping through dresses in her closet.

“Hey stranger,” Jacie smiled at me. “Where have you been lately? I haven’t seen you.”

“Sorry, the last couple of days have been crazy. I’m sure Ezra has filled you in.”

Jacie put her hand on my shoulder, “yah, he did. Are you sure you’re OK?”

I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m honestly not sure. I feel a little better than I did this morning, but I’m still not sure what to think about everything.”

“I hear you. I didn’t see Creed as such a player, but at least you still have two other mates to choose from, his loss.” Jacie shrugged and turned back to her closet.”

I smirked, “Where are you off to tonight?” 

“A party. It’s the last one before break. Everyone is going to be there. You should come with me.”

“I don’t know. Dawson is coming over, and I need some time to talk to him.”

“Bring him. Come on, the boys are going. After the last few days, you need to let loose, and I have the perfect dress for you.” She looked over at me and smiled.

“Come on Bella, it will be fun.” She shimmied the sexy black dress in front of me.

“Give me a little while to talk to Dawson, and I’ll think about it.”

“OK, I’m going to meet up with Ezra anyway. I’ll get ready there and give you some space. I better see you later, and you better be wearing this dress.” She laid the dress on the bed and smiled at me.

I nodded, “I’m jumping in the shower, but we will probably be down in a couple of hours.”

Jacie nodded and finished gathering her stuff. “I’ll see you soon.”

I took a quick shower and quickly got around. Dawson was at my door before I even finished drying my hair.

“Hey, come on in. I just need a few minutes.” I smiled at him as he entered my room.

Dawson sat down on my bed and waited for me to finish up. “I passed your roommate on my way up. I don’t know where she was headed to, but she looked excited.”

I laughed, “the last party before winter break is tonight. She wants us to go and meet up with her and the boys.”

Dawson nodded, “it sounds like fun to me if you’re up for it.”

I nodded, but the smile started falling from my face as I tried to think of how to start the conversation that I needed to have with him.

“If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to,” Dawson said as he gave me a concerned look.

I shook my head, “it’s not that. Creed left this morning.” I swallowed hard as I waited to see how he reacted.

Dawson lowered his eyebrows, “he just randomly left the week before finals.”

I shook my head, “I don’t think it was random. I messed up.”

Dawson nodded but waited for me to continue.

“I gave in and, well, I bonded with him last night.” I stared into Dawson’s eyes. I don’t want to hurt him, but I need to be honest.

He stared at me for a moment but didn’t say anything. I continued watching him, waiting for him to say something, anything. Yell at me. I deserve it. 

He cleared his throat and put his arms out for me to come closer. I moved closer, and instead of yelling at me, he wrapped me in a tight hug. Tears started rolling down my face again.

I let everything go. The hurt emotions, the nervousness, my fears. I just told my mate that I slept with someone else, and he just held me. Letting me cry it out, as he rubbed my back and held me tight.

“Bella, it’s OK. I’m not mad. I've known from the start that I’m not you’re only mate. I’ve also seen the way you look at Creed, and the way he looks at you. I knew it was only a matter of time.” He smirked.

“How can you possibly be so understanding?” I shook my head, and Dawson laughed.

“I don’t know. I just feel differently about things. I don’t want my mate or anyone that I love to feel like I’m holding them back. If you want or need something, you shouldn’t deny yourself. That’s how you end up resenting the people in your life.”

I nodded and dried my tears. “If this conversation was reversed. If I told Creed that I slept with one of my other mates, he would have lost it.” I chuckled, missing his hotheadedness, and the fire that would flick in his eyes when I challenged him.

Dawson chuckled, “he loves you, Bella, and I can tell you love him too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be crying on my chest right now.”

I nodded, “you’re right, but that doesn’t mean that I care for you any less.”

He bit his lower lip, “I know, believe me, I know. I need to confess something that I’ve been holding back. There’s another reason I’m so understanding.”

I sat up a little, so I could look into his eyes. “You can tell me anything, and I promise I’ll be just as understanding as you.”

“You’re my mate, and I know we all play a part in whatever prophecy the moon goddess tasked you with. I didn’t want you to worry or to think that I wouldn’t be here to help you. But.”

Dawson swallowed hard and placed his hand on my cheek. “There’s someone at home that I can’t walk away from. I’ve tried. When I met you, I stopped calling her, and I tried to focus on getting to know you. Our mates are supposed to be sacred, the other half of our soul. I tried everything to get her off my mind and only think about you, but I’ve loved her for so long. My mind keeps going back to her. The possessiveness and craziness that Creed holds for you, I hold for her. I'm sorry, Bella.”

Dawson put his head down for a moment, like he was ashamed.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Dawson, I’m battling feelings for three mates right now. I would have understood.”

He looked back up at me and nodded, “Knowing about your other mates, I kind of kept thinking maybe I could have my cake and eat it too.” He smirked, and I couldn’t hide my chuckle. 

He pulled my head back down to his chest. “I love feeling these sparks, and I’m attracted to you. My bear wants you, but I just can’t get her out of my mind. When I started noticing the way you and Creed looked at each other, I realized that it’s a completely different kind of love.  Again, I’m sorry Bella. I care for you, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t know why you and I were fated.”

He shook his head and started slowly rubbing my arm, “I don’t think I can ever truly love you the way I love her. She’s had my heart since we were cubs.”

I nodded because I know exactly how he feels. My love for Dawson is more of a friendship with attraction and a few sparks. My love for Creed is earth-shattering.

I looked up at him with a small smile, “Who’s going to do the rejection?”

Dawson nodded, “I’ve had the same thought. It will set us both free, but I don’t know if it’s the right time.”

“What do you mean?”

He gave me a serious look this time, “your dream, Bella. There’s a reason we were fated. We need to see it through, and I want to know why Creed left after you two bonded. I know he loves you. Something is not right.”

I thought about it for a minute. “That might be the million-dollar question, but we also need to figure out what is wrong with Rowen’s wolf. I talked to my friend Reese, and I think we have somewhat of a plan. The more I think about it, this party tonight will provide the perfect opportunity.”