Chapter 32 A Reality Check
We just stood there then. I couldn’t think of anything to say after that embarrassingly long speech.
“Uhmm, I should probably get back to class now”, I finally said, breaking the silence. I had expected him to argue or get even angrier that I was justifying my blatant disregard when I spoke of him the way that I had.
But he just seemed to accept it, without much resistance.
When he didn’t give me a reply, I just turned around with the intention of going back to the lecture, internally dreading the possibility that the Professor might not let me enter again and scold me in front of the class… since Daniel wasn’t there, he had no reason to allow me back in class.
Sometimes, a small part of me wished I had the kind of blatant influence and monopoly that Daniel Kane enjoyed. No wonder he was so cocky… who wouldn’t be when not only the students but also the professors were too afraid to raise their voice against you.
“Wait”, he suddenly let out, stopping me in place when he grabbed onto the back of my backpack.
“What?!”, I asked, turning around to face him.
“Don’t go”, he huskily said, his tone softening as he neared me, those grey eyes of his no longer grave but rather a pleading, adorable color that made me blush for no reason.
“Okay”, I said without thinking, on reflex. I did not in the least want to go back anyway.
“Okay?! You’re okay with skipping class? Where is my Ayesha and what have you done to her?”, he said in all seriousness but broke character as his mouth slit into a wide grin.
I rolled my eyes at him as I snarkily replied,” I’m not that much of a prude that I can’t even skip one lecture. So yes I am your Ayesha.”
Just as the words left my mouth, I realized that in trying to sound like a smartass… I’d majorly messed up.
I hoped he hadn’t caught on to the slip of my tongue. But just as I noticed his grin widen even further ….and he got that wicked glint in his eye…. I knew I was screwed.
“My Ayesha, huh? I do like the sound of that”, he commented.
“Whatever, don’t exaggerate my words”, I replied, desperate to reel back into safe platonic territory.
But there was nothing platonic about the way he held my gaze.
“One more thing, I noticed that you haven’t charged my card yet… and it’s been quite some time since I gave it to you. Why haven’t you used it?”, his tone was accusatory as he gave me a disapproving look.
And we were back to square one with the arguments. Disagreements were about to follow… just like our general conversations. When did we ever just talk instead of arguing?
“I’m not arguing about this with you again”, I vehemently said, determined to stand my ground.
“And what do you think I want to do? Argue for no reason?! I don’t want to have to force you to spend my money, it doesn’t bring me any more joy than it does you. How am I supposed to not worry when I know that….”
I cut him off, suddenly feeling extremely bitter,” When you know what, Daniel… that your fiance stole all my money?”
He gritted his teeth, not pleased with me finishing his line of thought,” I fucking told you before, she is not m…. you know what?! I see what you’re trying to do here… distracting me yet again from my original question. I’m not falling for that again.”
“It’s inappropriate of me to be spending your money…. I don’t think your uncle would like that if he found out that his fiance is borrowing money from his nephew”, I truthfully reasoned. Another reason for his uncle to rile me on was the last thing I needed.
Daniel fumed, his gaze hardening as his eyes narrowed at me, “ So now you’re worried about what that fucking scumbag will think?! What the fuck are you saying? I’m here worried to fucking death about if you’re looking after yourself by taking my money which you NEED… and you’re worried about him?! What is wrong with you? Do I and my concerns mean that little to you? That you’re worried more about that middle-aged sleazebag’s opinion? The one who only wants to marry you so that he can have a hot teenager in his bed every night? Jesus Fucking Christ, Ayesha! What the actual fuck?”
I was stunned into silence. I wanted to baulk at his audacity to speak out loud such disgusting things… I wanted to scream at him for saying what he said.
But I couldn’t.
Because all he said was true.
No matter how hard I wanted to not think of the aftermath of my marriage… it was still right there. Just because I turned a blind eye to it whenever it came to mind… it was not going to just go away.
The thought of his uncle laying a hand on me… touching me in that way… made my skin crawl so bad I wanted to unalive myself. My eyes welled up involuntarily. I quickly looked away from him and let my hair curtain my moistened eyes.
Daniel did not need even more ammo to question my engagement, I told myself, trying to discreetly wipe away the moisture from my eyes. He did not need to know that those words from his mouth had quite literally broken me and turned me into a vulnerable mess.
Barely holding myself back from bursting into sobs, I thought that I could sort of not face reality for a while… just for a little while…. and stay the way I was for as long as I could.
But Daniel of course had to ruthlessly slap me back to reality.