Chapter 31 Pacifying Daniel
“It’s not that simple and you said so yourself, that the sole reason you even intervened was because the professor putting degrading labels on me was a direct hit to your family’s honour since I’ll soon be a Kane, and your title will forever be attached to mine”, I finished, waiting for a reaction. My anticipation grew manifold when he remained silent.
“Even if I told you that my reasons at the time were concerning my family’s reputation…. how could you say that I wouldn’t have cared if a Professor had even assaulted you? Do you have any idea how you saying that makes me feel?”, he wasn’t angry anymore, just disappointed and roiling in some grave waters of disbelief.
He rested his head against the side of my neck, brushing away the strands of my hair to the back. He let out a deep sigh, nuzzling my neck absentmindedly.
“Would you have?”, I asked, genuinely curious. I held my breath, second-guessing if I really should have asked the question. But I wanted to know… if he would have. I wanted to know with every fibre of my being, even though I knew it didn’t matter if he cared or not…. I was no one to him, it wasn’t his responsibility to look after me.
“Would I have what?”, he lowly asked against my neck, his teeth grazing my skin. His voice grew hard like he was warning me without saying the actual words.
“Would you have cared?”
“The fact that you even have to ask me that is ripping my fucking heart out, Ayesha”, he whispered to me, his voice nudging something within me… making me feel deeply guilty that I asked him that. I hated the way his voice broke. Angry, enraged Daniel I could handle… I was used to him.
But this vulnerable side of him made my chest hurt in the most painful way possible. It was the kind of pain you didn’t understand the cause of, the kind of pain you didn’t know was even there until you felt its full force. You couldn’t know exactly when it started or where exactly it actually hurt. It was just there, hurting you in ways you didn’t think were even possible.
“I’m sorry, I should never have asked you that. It’s not your job to protect or care for me anyway”, I said in a small voice. I hated the fact that I wanted him to care… so damn much.
“Please, just stop! Don’t you think you’ve hurt me enough with what you asked earlier…. do you have to put the final nail in the coffin? I swear to God, love, I didn’t think anyone could hurt me as bad as you have…. and with just your innocent words alone”, he seemed to be out of it, looking at me like I’d stabbed him in the back and moreover twisted the knife further.
I gulped hard, gripping the pen in my hand and hovering it close to my notepad. Unable to process what the Professor was talking about, much less take notes.
“I’ll see you later”, he grumbled under his breath, his presence suddenly escaping me as he stalked out of the class.
I stayed frozen in my seat, afraid of what he thought of my perception of him after what had just transpired. I had the grave realization that I couldn’t stomach him being mad at me. That I would much rather skip this stupid class and go after Daniel.
This was very unlike me, I thought, I wasn’t an unruly student.
I quickly fumbled with my bag, chucking in the laptop and other materials, zipping it up as I rushed out of the class, trying to be as discreet as possible. I didn’t even care if the Professor noticed me leaving his class in the middle of the lecture… or even think of the repercussions of it.
Right now the only thing on my mind was to figure out how to pacify Daniel.
I yelled for his name as I ran toward him in the corridor. I almost collided with him when he turned around to inspect the noise.
“You left in the middle of class?” The disbelief was clear in his eyes as he looked at me from top to bottom, as if trying to make sure I was the same person. I rolled my eyes at him… but it was my own fault for building up that straight-A, perfect attendance rapport.
I took a deep breath before speaking, desperate to get it all out before I backed off.
“I know I wasn’t exactly crystal clear in my words, so here it is now. You were the one that confused me in the first place when you announced in front of everyone that messing with me would be messing with you and your family. I know what I said was out of line and I didn’t mean it, I swear. I just got really angry when Rosalind kept insisting that you stood up for me because uh… you had other um, reasons. The reasons she implied that you had made me uncomfortable and what I said after that was out of frustration and other nonsensical emotion. It had nothing to do with you and solely to do with my own inhibitions and undealt emotions” I stopped, catching my breath.
Not taking into account Daniel’s aghast expression, I continued,” And last of all, you do not have a right to be mad at me. Of course I would get angry and say stuff I don’t mean when my best friend insists on you, my fiance’s nephew, helping me out for your own nefarious reasons rather than the fact that you’re doing it for the sake of your family’s reputation. And just to be clear, I know that um, uh… you don’t have any uh, nefarious intentions toward me”, I let out a sigh of relief, glad to have gotten all of that off my chest.
It was a while after he finally spoke. I was too nerve-wracked to look up at him as I fixed my eyes on his shoes.
I suddenly felt him lean toward me, almost flinching back when he tipped my chin up to make me face him.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t be so quick to judge my intentions and whether they may or may not be ‘nefarious’ toward you”, his voice was husky and he smelled like honey mixed with dew.
I was too taken aback by his intoxicating scent to fully get the hidden meaning beneath his cryptic statement as I absentmindedly nodded at him, blushing furiously as I took in the smirk that had now overtaken his ridiculously perfect face, highlighting his already sharp cheekbones.