Chapter Fifty Nine

Chapter Fifty Nine
Lindani had a headache. He knew that even before he could wake up properly. He opened his eyes. His vision immediately assaulted by the brightness of a light bulb right on top of his head. He closed his eyes again covering them with his arm. Just from that he knew this wasn't his room.

So where was he? He turned to his side on the bed too soft to be his own bed. He opened his eyes again. Only to see someone's back.

He blinked trying to figure out what he was doing in a room that wasn't his with a naked girl beside him. His memory led him to the kiss he and Xolo had witnessed last night. And then to the fight he had with Xolo.

He remembered not being able to do anything but hit his head on the back of the house. "Stupid! Stupid!" He yelled at himself. Why did he do that? Why did he disagree with Xolo?

He felt like going to find Xolo wherever he was. Just apologize to him. So that everything could go back to normal.

But that was just the thing. There was no normal. Things were getting even more in webbed. Instead of getting clearer they got even more blurred.

What to do now? What to do?

Lindani didn't remember how or when he got to the Bethany household. All he knows is that he got drunk. And he followed Ruby upstairs.

Lindani breathed looking up at the ceiling. This time he wanted the blinding burn it brought to his eyes.

Instead of swallowing his pride. His 'I'm right and you're wrong' and apologize to Xolo. Or just listen to Xolo shout at him. Instead of all that he had slept with Ruby. Ruby Bethany. It was a complete mess that he didn't know how he was going to fix.

As if things weren't bad enough. This made it all twelve times extra.

"You fool" he scolded himself. "Get up and go find him." Even through this wind he wouldn't let Xolo go. He shook his head refusing defeat. He looked at Ruby who was still soundly asleep. Mistake. She's a mistake. He. He's everything.

He gathered himself. Getting up from bed. Quickly got dressed and then was almost out the door. But was stopped by Ruby's sweet voice. "Now-now is this a way to leave a lady Ndani?" He turned around. Facing her. She had already sat up on bed. Her still nakedness exposed to Lindani. "I thought you were different. Unlike all these dogs. You disappoint me."

"I'm sorry" Lindani apologized. He couldn't think of anything else to say. So he spun around to walk out of the room again.

"Sorry? Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

He didn't answer. He had no reply to this. His mind was still foggy from the hangover he was experiencing. And his other brain cells were thinking of a way to solve this whole thing.



Xolo was not okay. He was vomiting buckets of everything he had eaten yesterday. Everything he had drank. It all was coming out of him right now like winter rain.

Nathan had never seen anyone get so sick from just having two beers.

"I'm never drinking again!" Xolo vowed between vomits. And he was saying the absolute truth. He had never drank a single glass or sip of alcohol before. He had no need for it. He was always ever so crazy. He never needed alcohol to loosen him up. He was only in need of alcohol because of his fight with Lindani now he was paying for it big time.

"I don't understand why you even drank." Nathan said, " why were you even alone yesterday? Where did you leave Lindani?"

Xolo rinsed his face and mouth on the sink. Took the white bathroom towel Nathan gave him,wiping his face with it. He then faced Nathan. "I don't know" he said the heartbreak evident in his voice, "we fought and now I don't know where he is. I don't know if he's-" he bit his tongue trying to keep himself calm. "I should get going. You don't need my drama."

"Actually I'm really bored. You can be my entertainment. Plus I'm a very good listener." Nathan offered," if you want I can listen to what's in your mind."

Xolo placed his hands on the sink. His head down as he shook his head. His dreadlocks covering his face.

His lips trembled. "Nathan things are so confusing. I have never been so bloody confused in my entire life. I'm used to complaining about everything. I'm used to a lot of stupid and crazy stuff. I'm used to competing with Lindani in everything. Even though I end up losing everytime. That I could handle. My loss wasn't the end of my world. In fact it was only the beginning. I would yell at Lindani for another day. But this. This I don't understand."

Nathan folded his arms leaning on the blue tiled bathroom wall. "Did you two finally tell each other that you are absolutely crazy for each other?" He smirked with a knowing gleam in his eye. "Is that what you can't understand? Your feelings for him?"

Xolo's head rose up. He looked at Nathan dumbfounded. How did Nathan even guess that?

Nathan chuckled. "Whoa. Did you really think you guys were not obvious? Trust me anyone who can't see the obvious chemistry you and Lindani have is either blind or just plain trying to be."

Xolo scratched his head. "Well this is weird." It was very weird to see someone be so sure about his feelings for Lindani when he himself wasn't so sure about.

Nathan tied his air. " Whatever you and Lindani fought about can be solved by just talking to each other. It's just as easy as that."

"You sound so sure. Why?" Xolo asked,"why are you? When even I'm not."

Nathan smirked. " People who see love are always sure of it than the people who actually are in love. It's called the love game. This game is played by not only the ones who love each other but it also involves the ones who are the bystanders. The game is a very difficult,fun and often dangerous game to play. Yet it must be played."

Xolo wanted to ask what Nathan was talking about. But he just sighed,"I have to go now. Thanks for listening and giving me your strange advice."

"Anytime"



Nathan closed the bathroom door after Xolo got out. That very minute he broke. Tears streaming down his eyes. He placed a hand to his face. Just the thought of what had happened to him last night. Well it wasn't the first time it happened. But yesterday just felt even worse. He could still smell his fragrance. He could still feel his hands roaming around his body.

He shook his head. "No-no! Don't dare make yourself feel bad about this. You know why you did it! You know why you have to keep on doing it." He chanted to himself. Making sure that he knew what he was doing. To make sure that he didn't forget his reasons.

He went to the bathtub. Let cold water into it. He undressed. Throwing all the clothes on the floor.

He placed his foot on the bathtub. He felt the cold, icy water but he made sure not to pull it out. Instead he got into it fully.

He let the cold consume him.

He closed his eyes. This was better. This was not what happened to him last night. This he could handle. This he had control over. Than him. He was uncontrollable. He was a monster. And if Nathan had a choice he would have never chose the life he was now living. Ever since his mother and father died he and his sister have been struggling to get one meal to feed them. Their relatives refused to help them. Child services. Well they would have separated them. Nathan and Ruby were always gonna be together. That's why Nathan got someone to help them. Someone who would provide for them. With money, food and a home.

To everyone else he and Ruby were living the life. No parents meaning no rules. But there are was no such thing. They had rules. Strict rules they had to follow.

He didn't just pay their bills,give them money and keep them safe. He had needs and wants that he demanded everytime he was in town. Which were the days Nathan was most worried. Every Tuesday he and his sister threw a party. This was a means to hide his visits. Nathan didn't want people to start seeing his frequent visits to the house. So his sister entertained the guests while Nathan entertained him.

It was all worth it. Because Ruby and him were going to university next year. After university everything would be all over. Nathan would finally be free.

Both Xolo and Lindani were staring at each other. They were at the river that started it all. "Why are you staring at me?" Xolo started having gotten annoyed by the silence.

"I'm thinking about how to apologize to you. But I suddenly don't know what to say" Lindani honestly said.

Xolo nodded his head. "I have a hangover. The sun is blazing if we continue staring at each other like this here then we'll both faint from this heat. Since you've forgotten how an apology is said let me remind you. Lindani there are many things that I have done in the past. But none of them. And none of them were as difficult as this one. Apologies have never been said from my mouth. I have always believed I'm right. In this too I still believe so but since I am not the only one affected by this let me apologize to you." He went to hold Lindani's left hand. "Lindani I'm sorry for not telling you about our fathers. I'm sorry about fighting with you unnecessarily. Can we please kiss and make up now?"

Lindani fought with his emotions. He wanted to embrace Xolo now. And say yes. Yes that it all could be worked out. But he couldn't. He had to tell Xolo the truth. He held Xolo's face with both his hands. "I'm sorry" he continued, "I'm so sorry."

Xolo nodded. "There's absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Absolutely nothing. He's your father. And you were right what their doing is wrong. Wrong to our mothers. They need to explain themselves. So it is them who should be sorry not you."

Lindani still continued to apologize. "I'm not talking about our fathers. I don't care what they do right now. I am talking what I've done. I'm apologizing for what I've done. Please forgive me. I promise you that it will never happen again."

"What did you do?"

"I slept with Ruby." Lindani shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what must have came over me. I don't know! But it happened Xolo. And I'm very sorry for that."

Xolo shivered. Even though it was so hot. He felt shivers run down his spine. He removed Lindani's hands from him. He walked two steps away. Shattering Lindani's heart. "Don't do it again." He said this in a whisper like voice that Lindani had to ask him again, "what did you say?" Xolo turned back to face Lindani. He tilted his head to the side. His hands in fists. "Let it be the very first time and last time that you dare sleep with another. From now on know that you're mine. Understand?"

Lindani let out a breath of relief. Nodding immediately. "I'm yours. And you're mine." He laughed in both delight and happiness. This time he could not hold his emotions. He grabbed Xolo to him.

Xolo whispered in Lindani's ear. "Mine all mine no else's"