He remained to lie down as a woman was on top of him. Both of them were naked. His breathing was steady as she bathed him with kisses all over his body.
They were inside the condo he bought. Her manager sent her to his condo since he already paid her manager for her one night of service. The woman is a starlet but open to indecent proposals like this. It had been three months since the accident happened, only now did he really try this thing again with a woman.
The room was dark when the woman entered. He didn't want her to see his face. Even her manager did not know him.
He felt her touch his manhood. She kissed and swallowed it but eventually, she stopped.
"W-why..." It seemed like a startled question.
He wanted to send the woman away immediately because even though she had been teasing him for a few minutes now, his manhood really didn't react.
He felt the same way again the first time the doctor confirmed that he was impotent. Even though he already knows, it's still not easy to accept that he doesn't have that ability in bed anymore.
The woman tried to caress and even massage it but it seemed that she was trying to wake a dead log.
"Why is it like this? Are you old? But I can feel that you are still young by just touching your body. Why is it not reacting at all?" Exasperated she says.
Silently he got up and then pushed her softly.
"Enough." He said briefly.
"I did my best so I should still be paid even if nothing happened to us," the starlet wanted to make sure.
"Of course," he replied as if bored.
The woman left him after she dressed up. She left the condo when she said goodbye to him. Then he stood up and didn't care even though he had no clothes on.
He took some wine and drank it while looking out at the window. He smiled wryly when he saw the faint reflection of himself in the window glass. He could clearly see the lifeless part of his body between his thighs.
He wants to destroy and smash things again but he restrains himself. Losing his temper will not help either, nor will his manhood erect if he does those things.
Fortunately, he was able to stand and walk properly when his legs healed. His life seemed normal again from the outside.
Faith was always calling him. He feels like she misses him too. She seemed to indicate that she wanted to get back together with him.
He would have been happy but he couldn't get back with the woman especially since he was still in the same situation. He knew Faith was just waiting for him to coax her and beg her to accept him again as her boyfriend. Faith also repeatedly says that when she can leave what she started in London, she will return to the Philippines immediately. She also said that she would really be ready to have a family when that day comes.
He wanted to grab Faith's hints about it but he knew he couldn't ask her again to marry him knowing he didn't have the ability to be anyone's wife. He will first seek medicine for his condition. In fact, he also had sessions with the psychiatrist because he was really desperate to find a cure.
Suddenly his phone rang. He took it out of the pocket of his pants on the bed. He smiled sadly when she saw Faith calling.
"Hello," he wanted to sound happy.
"Clay! Where are you now? You didn't even call yesterday. It was the fifth of the month, remember?"
It was supposed to be their monthsary. They always celebrate their monthsary even though they have been in a relationship for several years.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. I was busy at work, because of my meetings."
He heard her sigh with sadness.
"You never forget that date no matter how busy you are, Clay. D-do you have a new girlfriend already?" She seemed to be having a hard time asking that question.
His heart was glad because she seemed to be affected by that question. It just means that Faith still has feelings for him. He also knew in himself that he still loved her dearly but his current situation was just holding him back.
"Clay, you're not answering my question. Have you found someone else?"
He swallowed hard. He would have liked to lie and just say yes so that she would no longer hope and wait for him. Even though he loves the woman, he doesn't want to lock her in a relationship that won't make her happy. It is likely that the two of them will end up being separated again since he no longer has the ability to make her happy sexually.
"No other woman, Faith. I'm still in love with you but we'll make it official once you get back to the country. There are things that I want to tell you then you can decide if you will still say yes," that just came out of his mouth.
Faith seemed pleased with what she heard and didn't bother about the last thing he said.
"Sure, Clay. I don't want a long-distance relationship too but I'm still happy that we feel the same way right at this moment."
That means she still loves him. He was sadder to find out even though a part of his heart was happy. Why did he give her hope about them when he was not even sure if he would recover?
He has even seen a specialist but there is still no cure for his impotence. He also tried several medicines but to no avail. And now he tried to pay the starlet for one night but nothing happened.
He left the window while saying goodbye to Faith. He knew it was strange when his tone of voice suddenly changed. He angrily took his clothes and got dressed. He wanted to go out. He didn't want to sulk and lock himself in the room because he might do something that he might regret.
Maybe in his desperation, he would even think of cutting off his useless manhood!