Awkward

Awkward
Raelynn's POV

I watch the condensation dripping from my smoothie cup. Two drops are racing down the side… The one on the left is winning.
My stomach twists and curls in on itself, making my gut feel like a lead weight.
“If you want your smoothie so badly, you could just… take a sip,” Sadie’s eyes appear directly behind the cup, startling me out of my head.
Instead of admitting that the thought of working through the last few weeks out loud makes me want to vomit, I force down a large gulp. The icy chill travels down my esophagus before landing in my stomach and waring with the heat churning in my gut.
“Woah,” Sadie sits up, eyeing me suspiciously, “Do you need a bag or something? I was only joking about the smoothie, but you look hella pale.”
Miles stood up wordlessly, walking over to one of the garbage cans and dragging it to the side of our table. A few passersby’s stared at him in confusion, but scurried along after Sadie scrunched up her face as if to say ‘Fuck off’.
I wanted to laugh, but they thought alone caused bile to lurch in my throat.
“Sorry,” I mutter, allowing my hair to fall around my face in an attempt to hide.
“Bitch,” Sadie practically crawls across the top of the table, “You’re not pregnant, right?” her lips grazed the shell of my ear, a quiet whisper that I hoped no one else could hear.
This time, I couldn’t control it.
I barely pushed the swinging door open before the contents of my breakfast spilled into the garbage can. The smell coming from inside made me vomit again.
Sadie was sitting behind me, tugging my hair into one of her classic messy buns, and when I sat upright again, Miles was jogging my way with a cold water bottle.
I don’t know how to tell her that I’m not pregnant, just that I killed a man and the thought still doesn’t sit right with me.
“Thank you,” I took my time nursing the water as I contemplated how much I wanted to say. How much I could say.
“I’ve figured it out,” Sadie crosses her arms over her chest, a grin plastered across her face, and the pit in my stomach intensified. “Kieran Decker knocked you up, and now, he’s stepping up to play the loving role of partner and daddy. And let me tell you,” she fans her face, “Daddy he is.”
“Did I miss a very important detail or something?” Miles rushes out.
“No!” I glanced around, grateful that no one heard the ridiculous story Sadie just created on a whim. “I’m not…. Pregnant.”
“Well, that’s boring,” Sadie pouts, “I was planning the baby shower and everything.”
“Do you always operate on such a high level?” Miles stares at Sadie like she’s some sort of science experiment and I can’t help but laugh.
“Level one-hundred, baby,” she winks. “While you recover, let me tell you about foot guy.”
“Ugh,” Miles groans, “Not this again.”
“You see, Miles here,” Sadie thumbs towards him, “Has been stuck listening to me blubber on and on about my sexcapades because you went MIA.”
“I’m so sorry,” I offer my condolences with an apologetic look, but Sadie lets out a growl, “Don’t apologize to him. The man deserves to hear what his fellow brethren are doing out in the wild.”
“I take no responsibility for the likes of any other man, let alone one who gets off on your toes,” Miles looks pale now.
Sadie shrugs, diving into a story about the toe guy and how he paid her ten grand to put her toes in his ass while he got off.
“Ten grand, baby. Ten THOUSAND.”
Miles and I share a look.
“I might have paid ten thousand not to hear that story,” Miles covers his face, a deep blush painting his cheeks.
“Men are weird as fuck, but I don’t kink shame. You better believe that man paid for a pedicure before AND after I left,” she grins while holding up her phone to show the cleared ten grand.
“Alright, someone else’s turn to spill,” Sadie’s grinning at me, and I know my stalling time has run out.
“I uh….” It feels like I’ve swallowed sand or maybe my brain is just malfunctioning, because words aren’t coming out. Every time I think about what I want to say and open my mouth; silence.
“What are everyone’s plans for next week?” Miles changes the subject, and I nearly bear hugged him for the reprieve.
Why was it so hard to come up with a lie for the way my last few weeks have gone? There is no way I can tell them that Kieran and I have been practically on the run from his evil family who happen to want to murder us, and instead of succeeding, we killed two of their men all while Kieran was battling a drug overdose.
“You sir, are a genius!” Sadie squeals, “Halloween. My absolute favorite holiday of the year. You,” she points at me, “And me are dressing up. There’s this big frat party the football team is throwing, and I need you to be my plus one.”
“Halloween is actually my birthday,” Miles’ cheeks flush again.
“Even fucking better,” Sadie grabs one of my hands and one of Miles’, “Trio time. Could be a quad if you can get Mr. Decker on board,” she waggles her brows.
“I don’t know….”
“Trio it is!” she chirps, diving into a plate of French fries smothered in cheese. “We have to think of the perfect costumes.”
“I uh, already have a costume,” Miles frowns. “I hope that’s okay.”
“What are we working with?” Sadie doesn’t miss a beat. “Let me guess,” she points a fry at him. “Angel?”
He chuckles nervously, “Devil, actually.”
Sadie practically squeals, turning her attention towards me, “Angels, baby. You and I. And he, is our devil. I’ll even wear a collar for you, pretty boy. You going as the traditional red, or black?”
“Red,” Miles mutters, his green eyes sliding over to mine, and I give him a small shrug.
Sadie is the only person I know who has absolutely zero shame. Not an ounce. And not just that, but she’s got no filter. If the thought comes to her mind, she’s going to say it.
I wish I could pull from that unbridled confidence.
“Even fucking better,” she grins, “I’ll go as the fallen angel, obviously. And you, my sweet, sweet Raelynn, can go in all white. This is going to be epic,” Miles’s alarm blares on his phone at the same time that Sadie grunts out an annoyed ‘shit’.
She stands up, waggling a finger at me, “Don’t think you’re disappearing again. I’ll come to Mr. Decker’s house and drag you out myself.”
“I won’t.”
She’s already rushing across the quad, “Holding you to that!”
“She doesn’t take no for an answer, huh?” Miles chuckles.
“Not a chance,” I grabbed my uneaten food. I don’t have any other classes for the day, but I’m not sure if Kieran is free….
“Walk with me?” Miles nods towards the main building. “I’ve got to make a pitstop at my car before practice if you’re headed out.”
“Sure.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he turns towards me quickly. “I hope I’m not overstepping by pressing, but you just… Look exhausted is all. I’ve seen what mental drain looks like,” his hand rakes through his hair. “Just… If you need anyone to talk to, I can always lend an ear.”
I find myself chewing on my bottom lip, “I appreciate that. I’ve got a lot going on, but,” a forced smile pulls on my lips, “I’ll be alright.”
“Good,” Miles stops in front of an older model Honda, tilting his head with a small smile.
“What?” My cheeks flush.
He steps forward, tugging the scrunchie that I’d totally forgotten was in my hair out, allowing the strands to tumble around my face, “I think she might have had her eyes closed while doing that.”
I let out the first real laugh I have in days, “That sounds like her signature top-knot.”
“Here,” Miles reaches for my hand, sliding the scrunchie onto my wrist. His fingers are rough like Kieran’s, and it sends a jolt of electricity zipping down my spine. They linger on the inside of my wrist before slowly sliding across the palm of my hand.
“Thank you,” my voice is barely above a whisper. Why does this feel like... flirting?
“Don’t be a stranger,” he grins, the green in his eyes shimmering with something....
He's definitely flirting.
A soft giggle bubbles from my throat. It's got to be nerves... Right?
He’s said that before, “I won’t,” but over his shoulder, I see a pair of icy blue eyes shooting daggers at Miles’s back.