Chapter 141: Overstimulated

Raelynn's POV

The high from this morning wore off far too quickly, leaving me drained and shockingly desperate to see Kieran again.

Was I that kind of girlfriend? The kind that spends every waking moment of the day waiting for a text or obsessing over the next time they see him….

No… I shake my head, navigating through the sea of bodies milling around the dining hall. It’s just… This is all new. Kieran is my first official boyfriend ever.

My eyes roll as I step into line. I’m not thirteen anymore. And technically, Kieran didn’t even ask me to date him… Dating. That’s the ‘adult’ term, though if my mom were still here, she’d tell me not to worry about growing up so fast.

Peeking inside my bag, I see my mother’s leather-bound journal stuffed between a few of my notebooks. It’s been far too long since I’ve done any of bucket list activities… Or even thought about her.

A throat clears behind me, and I realize the line has begun moving.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whisper a choked apology as I step forward.

Is that how grief works? Over time, the presence that someone held in your life slowly fades away until you only think about them in passing? A person you couldn’t stop thinking about turns into someone you rarely give a second thought to.

I try to remember the sound of her laugh or the tone of her voice, but every time I close my eyes; My mind is silent. The voices around me bleed into the empty space, and frustration claws at my chest.

The guy in front of me steps away from the counter, and I see the girl Kieran was all over at the diner staring at me. Vee I think her name was. I remember feeling that ugly twisting in my gut when I watched her all over him.

Her eyes flash wide, “It’s you!”

I look around, my brows knitting together, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I saw you getting out of Kieran Decker's car this morning,” she leaned against the counter, propping her chin up on her hand. Dark hair spilled around her shoulders, and the position she was in made it look like her boobs were about to spill out. “Is he officially a taken man?” Vee arched a brow.

“Fat fucking chance,” Veronica’s nasally voice snarled. “Kieran Decker wouldn’t be caught dead with this bimbo.”

I ignored Veronica, focusing on Vee, “Yeah,” I straightened my spine, biting my lip in an attempt to stop myself from smiling, “That was me.”

Vee stands up straight, “Damn, well, congratulations. Another one bites the dust,” she sighs, taking my order. I’m a blubbering mess trying to spit out words because that’s the first kind interaction from any girl fawning over Kieran.

My relief was short lived.

“What the fuck is that about?” Veronica snarls as I grab my smoothie and bowl of fruit.

Anger bubbles inside of me, and I come to a dead stop.

“Do you need something, Veronica?”

Her lips pull into a snarl, arms crossing over her chest. I swear, she looked like a dark-haired Regina George, “I asked you what the fuck that was about,” Veronica tossed a look towards the smoothie counter. “Have you truly disillusioned yourself so much that you believe you and Kieran are anything more than forced partners in some pathetic project?”

“Says the one who has disillusioned herself into believing she ever meant a damn thing to him.”

Veronica’s eyes flash wide for a moment before her lip curls, “Big words for the silent little lamb. Oh wait, it’s Bambi,” she snickers. “I almost forgot.”

“Was there something that you actually needed? Or were you just planning to throw pathetic insults my way for the entirety of my free period?”

She closed the distance, crowding my space, “Kieran would never date you. Just like none of the guys pretending to be interested in you. How does it feel to be the butt of the joke every single time, you fugly bitch?”

“It must hurt to know that he never wanted you and the only man you can get is a forty-five-year-old corrupt sheriff with a temper problem.”

I school my expression, freaking out a little on the inside because… where the hell did that come from?

Veronica gasped. Actually gasped… out loud. She backed away slowly, “You’re going to pay for fucking with me, Raelynn.”

The look on her face was priceless and worth whatever baseless threats she wanted to throw my way.

I don’t bother wasting my breath on a response, heading outside and into the fresh, cool October air. It’s still comfortable here in South Carolina, but by Halloween next week, the nights will grow bitter.

The wind swirls around me softly, sending goosebumps across my exposed skin. I’ll need to remember….

“Raelynn,” Miles gasps, startling me. “Thank goodness I ran into Sadie earlier. I was about to send out an APB.” His green eyes search my body as though he’s looking for any signs of injury, and the concern in his face sends guilt coursing through my veins.

“Are you cold?” his brows knit, wordlessly tugging his hoodie over his head and thrusting it towards me, “Here.”

“Oh no, I can’t take that.”

“I have another in my car. I’ll grab it on my way to practice. Seriously,” Miles tilts his head. “Take it.”

He grabs my lunch, and I slip his hoodie on. It’s warm and smells of his woodsy cologne, “Thank you.”

“Mind if we talk for a second. Even if it’s just while I walk you to your next destination?” I nodded, unable to say no. “Are you okay?” his voice lowers to a whisper.

The memory of how that fear felt as I sat pressed up against Kieran’s lifeless body washed over me like someone injected it into my veins. The sensation made me feel as though my bones had turned to ice beneath my skin.

I forced a smile, pushing the feeling away and focusing on the present, “Yeah. I’ve just had a lot going on.”

Miles looks a bit put off by the shortness of my answer, but recovers quickly, “Well… Thank goodness for that. You had me worried to death.”

“I’m sorry,” my teeth clamp down on my bottom lip, “You shouldn’t worry yourself over me.”

I notice Sadie sitting beneath a tree, scowling at her phone, and typing furiously. She hasn’t noticed us approaching yet, but as if she could sense my presence, she looked up, locking eyes with me.

Instead of waving me over right away, her eyes narrowed before a single brow arched. Sadie nodded at the hoodie, mouthing ‘Bitch, what the fuck?’

“Of course I’m going to worry about you,” Miles scoffs. “Isn’t that what friends are for?” He must notice my attention isn’t on him, and his eyes slide to Sadie.

“Miles,” she chirps, waving animatedly. “Come join us.” Sadie’s grin is wicked as her brown eyes bounce between us. “Our dear Raelynn here is going to give us a rundown on everything that’s been going on in her life.”

Andddddd this is why I never tried to make friends.