Did what had to be done

Did what had to be done
Kieran's POV

I fucked up.

I realize it the moment the haze begins to clear from my mind and a splitting headache replaces it in the darkness.

Heavy breathing and silent sobs bounce around the tiny space, and it takes me longer than it fuckin’ should to realize where I am and what’s happening.

Raelynn’s body is pressed against mine…. Trembling as she held up a gun, aimed directly at the crack in the closet door.

She stiffens as I lean forward, wrapping my hands around hers. They’re warm against my icy skin.

“I’ve got you,” my lips graze the shell of her ear, and I feel the shudder that rolls through her body. It’s visceral… grateful… and I want to bash my head in knowing that I’ve put her through this bullshit again.

Fuck, I’m not a good person. I don’t deserve to have someone as good as Raelynn in my life. Pure. Steady. Strong. She’s so fuckin’ strong….

But I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to her now.

The closet door rips open, and a head pops inside. There is no hesitation as my finger presses against Raelynn’s, pulling the trigger. The gun goes off with a quick flash of light, the sound ricocheting in the enclosed space as blood splatters on every surface inside.

“You little bitch,” a deep voice that definitely belongs to one of my father’s long-running cronies snarls, and I can’t fight my grin.

This asshat has been a thorn in my side for a decade. The asshole gets off on other people’s pain, and tonight, I’m going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Raelynn is in a state of shock, and if it wasn’t life or death, I’d be carrying her to the shower to clean off the brain matter splattered on her skin…

Guess that’ll have to wait.

“Hold on a bit longer for me, baby,” I press my lips to the spot where her neck curves into her shoulder, and a tiny, choked gasp falls from her lips as if she’d been holding her breath up until that very moment.

I know I’m an asshole with the emotional whiplash, but I can’t bring my mind to convince me that I can keep her. I shouldn’t. I should send her packing. Her and Cae… Get them out of this fuckin’ place and as far from my family and hers as I can, but I’m a selfish prick. Always have been.

And I don’t know if I can let her go now.

Large, gloved fingers curl around the sliding door, ripping it off the tracks. Raelynn’s fingers still rest beneath mine, and the thought sends a thrill zipping down my spine.

I knew I was a sick fuck from the first moment I took a deserving life. Today wasn’t the first time I’d killed one of my father’s men, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Would Raelynn share the same sentiment…. Or would she think I was a monster?

The gun goes off again, and I’m stunned when I realize it wasn’t me who pulled the trigger.

Darius lets out a deep grunt as the bullet pierces his leg, but I don’t give him a chance to recover, whipping the gun towards his right leg, and bringing him to his knees.

“Your mother is a worthless piece of trash,” he snarls, making me cackle as I untangle myself from Raelynn. Her grip on the gun is like a vice, and I press my lips against her temple, a silent way to communicate that I’ve got this, and she can finally rest.

Darius reaches for his gun, but I fire another round into his right hand, blowing three of his fingers clean off. He doesn’t scream, but I expect that.

This man has been hardened. Desensitized to pain and violence.

He’s a bred monster.

But so am I.

“It took you this long to figure that out?” I snicker, looking into the darkest eyes I’ve ever seen. His jaw is tense, the muscles tight from where he’s fending off the pain. “My father underestimates a lot of things, haven’t you noticed?”

His arrogance is going to get him killed someday, and I pray I’m the one to deliver the final blow.

Instead of answering me, Darius begins chuckling, the sound low and ominous, “You pretend to distance yourself from your birthright,” he mutters, a wicked grin on his face as he raises it from where his eyes had fallen to the floor, “And yet I find you in here playing with your food.”

My teeth grind together.

“You’re just as fucked up as the rest of us,” his shoulders shake softly, and I watch as his gaze slowly shifts to where Raelynn remains huddled in what’s left of my closet. “Does she even know who she’s protecting?”

My lips curled into a snarl as I fired off the final shot right between his eyes.

The smell of burning gunpowder makes my nose twitch, and warmth drips from my left ear. Reaching up, I feel a slow drip of fresh blood, and I wince as I press on the skin just outside my earlobe.

Guess I burst the damn thing if the incessant ringing in my head is any indication.

Darius’ body falls forward with a harsh thud to the ground, his blood slowly pooling at my feet.

Tossing the gun on the bed, I spin around to find Raelynn’s wide eyes staring at me…. No, staring through me.

Dropping to my knees, I bring my hands to her face, “Look at me,” when she doesn’t, I drag my thumbs to her jawline, “Baby,” I apply enough pressure to gently force her face upwards, and our eyes meet.

The moment they do, her bottom lip begins to violently tremble, “I killed someone,” her voice is barely above a whisper. “I…. killed someone, Key,” it was like in that very moment, the reality sunk in, and she began hyperventilating, “Oh God.”

“Rae,” my voice betrays me, shaking as I watch her fall apart. God, I’m so fucked for this girl. The pain in her voice sinks beneath my skin, poisoning the blood that runs through my veins.

I fucked up tonight, walking right into their trap again, and now she’s forced to endure the scars left behind.

“You did what had to be done, baby,” I whisper, “I’m so proud of you.”

Her watery eyes lock with mine, “I took someone’s life,” she chokes on the word life as though the word alone carries its own heartbeat.

“You saved our lives, baby,” my forehead presses against hers. “They would have hurt you without remorse. Those men were horrible, horrible people.”

I don’t know where this sappy nonsense is coming from, but I’d do just about anything to make her tears stop.

She goes to dip her head down, and I watch as she realizes she’s not just covered in blood. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, but I force her face back up to look me in the eyes, but once again, she’s looking right through me.

“Raelynn,” I try but she doesn’t stop. Her breathing comes out in sharp pants, and I can see her body shaking with every heartbeat.

My lips slam against hers, and it only takes a second for her body to relax, “Listen to me,” I kiss her again, purely out of selfish desire. “You saved my life, baby,” I force a crooked smile onto my face. “You,” kiss, “Saved,” kiss, “Us.”

“What the fucking fuck,” Malcom’s voice gasps from behind us, and I silently curse myself for being so distracted, I didn’t even hear him enter my place.

“Nice of you to finally fucking join us,” I hiss.

“How are you awake?” he mutters from the doorway of my bedroom.

I ignore him, anger settling in the pit of my stomach. If Malcom is here, that means Rae called him, likely while I was in the midst of a fuckin’ overdose, but his timing means I would be dead without her, so fuck him all the way to next week.

Instead, I scoop Rae into my arms, cradling her against my chest. Every muscle in my body protests, but I push through it.

Malcom steps out of the way as I carry Raelynn towards the door, “Dude, what the fuck?”

I whip my head towards him, anger seeping from my pores as I pin him with a glare that he doesn’t deserve. I’m pissed at the world, and he’s the only one around to take it out on.

“I’m going to get us cleaned up. Meet me in an hour,” I give him the look, and he understands, nodding slowly as I step into the bathroom, flicking the light on.

Shit.