Guilt

**\[ALICE’s Point of View\]**

I didn’t know if I would scream or run or laugh at him.

I was so confused why he was lying naked on his bed! Was that the way he preferred sleeping? Was he doing something or was he with somebody and just forgot to get into his clothes before he fell asleep?

The thought of it made me somehow angry and hurt. But before I could reach the door to storm out of his room, he was already there with panic etched on his shocked face.

“What are you doing? Let me out!” I scowled at him, pushing him away from the door. “Pervert!”

His eyes widened; he couldn’t believe what I just said, “What did you call me?!”

“Pervert!” I yelled at his face, baring my teeth at him. I pushed him with all of my strength but he didn’t budge. Goddess! What is wrong with him?!

“Hey, Alice! It is not what you are thinking! No girl has been in my room and I—I just like sleeping naked, d*mn it!” he said, gritting his teeth, his cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. Part of me wanted to laugh. Another part wanted to feel angry but it didn’t matter! I was in his room and he was naked and it felt wrong and weird and thrilling at the same time!

“Whatever you say, Bellamy. I don’t even know why you are explaining!” I shook my head, upset that he was still blocking my way out of the room with his one hand holding the blanket that covered his lower half. “Reject me now. If you don’t want me, then release me at least!”

The panic in his eyes disappeared and his face looked grave when I brought up that topic again. If he didn’t want me, why is he still keeping the bond? What’s holding him back?

“Stop it, Alice. We already talked about it. You don’t know how dangerous a matebond rejection is and I don’t want to hurt you. You heard me? I don’t want to hurt you.” His jaw tightened and he leaned closer to me. So close that I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull to claim his lips fiercely.

Instead, I glared at him. Deep into his eyes. “Test me.”

His frown deepened and he only shook his head, looking so pissed and confused with the feelings I saw in his eyes. “You don’t know what you are talking about,” he murmured weakly.

“I’ll see you then at the gazebo of the labyrinth garden later at midnight.” I lifted my chin and raised an eyebrow at him, not letting Bellamy intimidate me with his striking body and arrogant looks. “You have to reject me or we will forever suffer, Bellamy. And I never want to live a life like that.”

To my surprise, Bellamy moved aside with a defeated look on his face and opened the door for me. I wanted to look back at him but I didn’t. I was scared that if I did, I would take back my words. I decided to end it tonight. And it will.

The pain felt like a giant metal ball wrecking my chest. I wiped the tears with the back of my hand as I stormed back to my room. What happened? After that amazing moment we had when we shared that kiss! I was ready to choose him. To be his mate! I went to his room after hours of thinking!

I was such a fool to think he would want me the way I wanted him!

I turned to a corner and was surprised to see Bellamy’s mother rushing in the hallways. It looked like an emergency the way she swiftly walked at her age.

“What happened, Mrs. McKenzie?” I asked, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. “You seem to be in a hurry. Is Alpha Zenon back?”

Her face went pale as she held me with her trembling hand. “Go with me, child.”

I got confused about what was happening. More people were in the hallways, running in and out of Alpha Zenon’s room. I started to feel scared after seeing healers bringing stuff inside his room and when I got in with the help of Bellamy’s mother, I gasped the second I saw my fiance lying on his bed, half naked with so many wounds covering his body.

“Oh my goddess, what happened to him!” I yelled in panic and went immediately to his bed to examine more of the injuries he received after he fought with Maverick and his bandits. He was unconscious and was breathing slowly and I got terrified when he started to have a seizure the second I approached his bed.

“Zen!” Bellamy's voice boomed inside the room. He was as confused as I was. 

"Please, we need the room for the Alpha and the Healers only,” said one of the men who was wearing all white. He led me, Bellamy, and his mother out of the room as they started to do their best to save their Alpha.

I stood in front of his door, petrified and shocked. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he could survive after seeing that huge gash of wound on his chest. Bellamy told me before that Alpha Zenon was never really good at fighting but was the best guy for planning and ruling his territory. He was the wisest Alpha and the youngest billionaire on the continent.

“Goddess.” I cried, covering my mouth. “This isn’t supposed to happen!” I sobbed at Mrs. McKenzie’s shoulder and she brushed her small hand up and down my back for comfort. She whispered something to me but I couldn’t comprehend any of her words because of the sadness and guilt that felt like knives in my chest.

“It should be me who went there!” Bellamy snarled in anger, hitting the wall with the side of his arm. “It was supposed to be me!”

“You can’t do anything about it, son.” Mrs. McKenzie chided. For her age, she still looked tough despite the worry and sorrow in her eyes. “Alpha Zenon maybe wanted to prove to the young lady that he could protect his territory. It’s his decision.”

“He doesn’t have to do that!” I cried. “He doesn’t have to prove anything to me!” 

Bellamy was silenced. He cursed under his breath and then walked away, his feet heavy on the concrete floor of the hallway.

“It’s my fault.” I murmured to myself. “It’s all my fault.”