Cheryl’s POV
It has been three weeks since the episode at Black Moon. Blake has called me numerous times a day, on my old phone, but I am not planning on answering him. I ended up back in the hospital, and after two weeks I do feel a lot better. I can eat and hold foods down pretty well, but I am not eating properly just yet. Max had been a little pushy about asking me out, but I have told him time and again that I am not ready yet. That was the truth, but there was another part to that. Even if I was ready, I didn’t want to date him. He was nice, he was handsome, and he is a charmer, but I just don’t have an interest in him. He has dark brown hair and grey eyes, and although different from Blake’s look it was similar enough to think it was Blake at first glance.
Blake has done a real number on me, and I feel terrible about the fact that I can’t give Max the proper chance at being able to date me. I can’t help how I feel. Max’s chiseled features being such a reminder of Blake, are not working in his favor. I feel the most guilty of all because I cannot shake it, when he first comes into my room to check on me, my first thought is fear that it is Blake. I could not hide that fact from him, as each time he enters the room to check on me, my heart monitor shows just how affected I am by his appearance. At first, he thought that I was excited to see him. But for the last week, he has noticed that I am self-comforting, trying to calm myself back down. It hurts him, and I didn’t want to hurt him. He has been nothing but kind and helpful to me since I arrived here.
I found him attractive and was flattered when he first showed an interest in me when I went to the gate to see Blake. I was surprised at how he defended me, as Blake was a pretty fierce fighter. I didn’t want Max to get hurt by pursuing me, but that has changed. When I met Anton, it was like everyone else faded into the background for me. I never had any feelings for Max other than appreciation for all the help he was giving me to help me get well. I kept trying to get Max to take out one of the nurses in his fan club, but he dug in and refused to do it. He assured me that he was only interested in me, but I can’t be what he needs me to be. So I started praying about it, for the Goddess to help me out here. I also prayed for guidance because I was missing Anton so much. Even though it has only been three weeks since I got to see him, I miss him terribly. We still keep in touch with each other. I have been texting him daily since Raven gave me his number.
I would like to see where this is going to go, but I am also terrified. It is rare for two different species to feel a pull toward each other like we do. He feels it too, and although he is better with it than I am, I am scared to mention it to Kevin. I don't know how Kevin is going to feel about it. Our lives have become completely overturned lately. I don't want to add to it when we have finally gotten a little normalcy in our lives. for him, it is for the better. He has wonderful friends that already love and support him. He has always been a very grounded child; calm, and teachable, he never causes problems. That is what hurt me so much about this. He is the exact opposite of Forest, but couldn’t get any of the affection that Blake showered on Forest. He hurt us both so much, there is no point in hearing from Blake again. I just wanted him to stay at Black Moon, and just try to get past this. He needs to accept that what he put us through was too much to bear, and just accept my rejection.
“I see you are looking well today” I heard Max as he entered the room with his usual smile firmly in place.
“I am, thanks to you,” I told him and smiled back at him. I consider him to be one of my best friends here at Black Adder. I am not going to let his crush take a valuable friendship away from me.
“I did very little, your wolf was the one who got you back up to speed. I cannot wait to meet her. I honestly thought that this was going to take several months, but it looks like you can go into your own home this afternoon. I linked Raven to tell her, and she is getting you an apartment ready on the Gamma floor. Leander wanted to look out for you while you healed, so for your safety, you will be staying there.
“Great, I have been feeling pretty good this last week, so I am excited about this,” I told him. I can feel how excited Akayla feels too. She wants to get let out. She has not been free for a while, and she wants to go for a long run. She is very impatient at the thought of it. It has been too long for her, she has not been out in almost 8 months. She was so weakened by what Blake was doing to us with his girlfriends, that I couldn’t phase. Akayla was using up too much of her power to take the pain from me and after a while. I just couldn’t phase anymore. That was one of the reasons I couldn’t just fight to get us out of Black Moon, I had to use other measures.
“I will miss getting to see you daily, but I am hoping that you will at least consider going on a date, or at least dinner in the dining room with meme. We both have to eat you know, and I am looking forward to getting to know you better. Plus it will give me a chance to meet your son. He is very impressive out on the training field. It is hard to believe that he is not 15 yet” Max told me, and I expected it. He has been asking me at least 3 times a week, to go out with him. I just got out of a draining relationship, I didn’t need to leap into another relationship with anyone. I needed to take my time. My mental peace was worth much more to me right now than having a dating life, or a boyfriend. My blood pressure went up as soon as he said the words. I can usually control my mouth, and the expression on my face most of the time, but that is not something that can be hidden. Especially when I am still hooked up to the machine. He glanced over and gave me a tight smile.
“Sorry, habit, I guess. I am serious about wanting to get to know you though. I just wanted you to know that I am interested in you Cheryl. It has been a long time since I even thought of wanting to date again. There is just something about you that reminds me of my mate. I guess I missed her so much that I just automatically placed that affection I had for her, onto you. She also was a strong woman, with blonde hair and blue eyes. I guess I will always miss her, and I know that he did not accept your rejection. But I am here for you, as a friend at first, until you want us to be more. I will tell you right now, that I would like to be more than friends. I believe in being honest and upfront, and I know that you do too. It is one of the qualities that I like most about you” Max told me, and I can see the pain in his eyes when he speaks about his mate. He still misses her, and I wish that I could let him into my heart. I just can’t. He is my friend, and as much as he hates that, it is all that we will ever be to each other.
“Max, I appreciate you as my friend and doctor. You might not know all that I went through, but you know it was a lot. You saw my condition when I got here. I need time to process it, so I get over it all. I know you like me as a potential mate, but I am not there on my end. I am only focused on healing, getting stronger, and being there for my son to help him process everything too. I am not considering anyone as a boyfriend right now” I told him, and I saw his frown grow as I spoke to him.
“Are you sure about that? I see you texting the vampire quite frequently. I know he wants to date you too, but that would be difficult. Much more difficult than dating me, as we are not just pack members together, but friends, and wolves. He will never understand you like I can. He can’t even go out in the daytime for the Goddess's sake. I mean, it would be difficult for people to accept you together. I know we have a treaty with them, but it still makes people nervous when they are around. I can’t blame them for that, as I am nervous too. I just don’t want one of them to break your heart. Most of them are playboys, that get around. You have already been hurt, and I do not want to see you hurt again” Max told me, and then came to the side of my bed.
He put his clipboard in the chair behind him and leaned down and looked earnestly into my eyes as he grabbed my hand and told me, “Look, I know that you do not love me yet, but I am a patient man. Love takes time, and I am willing to wait for you to be ready, just don’t shoot me down yet. You haven’t even given me an opportunity to show you how much you mean to me. I know I remind you of your mate, and I am sorry that I cannot change that about myself. Making you happy, and healthy is my number one priority. Please, Cheryl, just allow me to have a chance to show you how much you mean to me, and Kevin too. I do not have any children, but I would be glad to be his father figure. To raise him like my own, but don’t answer right now. Just think about it, I would treat you like a queen. Please just give me a chance to do that” Max had his emotions showing in his eyes, and I knew that he was telling me the truth, but I don’t feel the same for him.
“Kevin already has a father, doctor, so you are not needed at all. Plus, didn’t I tell you more than once to stay away from my mate? It seems like we need to take this outside for you to get the message” I heard a familiar voice at the door and my eyes flew over to it with surprise all over my face. Blake was standing there with Raven, Justin, and Brandon with him. I wanted to pull my hands free, but Max stubbornly refused to let them go. It was like he wanted Blake to tear him apart.
I finally pulled my hands free from his when my heart monitor started beeping due to it going up so high. I am frustrated and angry that I didn’t get a heads-up on this. I would have shot Max down a lot quicker so he wouldn’t have been here pouring his heart out to me, in what I can only assume was a romantic-looking moment between us. I need to clear this up for both of them, right now, before they come to blow over me. I don’t want anyone hurt fighting over me, especially when neither of them has a chance of taking my heart. Blake had it and then destroyed it. Max is a good man, but I don’t feel the same romantic feelings for him, as he does for me. I now suspect that I look a lot more like Max’s dead mate than I first thought. It would explain the “instant” connection that he felt towards me. Maybe my being helpless and injured when I got here helped his feelings grow so quickly for me, but I need to shut this down for them both right now.
“What are you doing here Blake? Are you here to cause trouble? Because if you are, you can leave right now. I just don’t need the stress” I told him and saw a smile hit Max’s face when I said it.
“I am here to bring you this, and I was going to talk to you, but I am not here to cause you to stress,” Blake said as he pulled a beautiful bouquet already arranged in a vase from behind his back.
“OK, thank you for the flowers, Blake. I am better now, you don’t have to hang around here looking at me, I am supposed to be discharged today” I snapped at him. This is a waste of time, and I was letting my frustration with the situation get the best of me.
“But you do have time for the mushy shit that the doc is spewing?” Blake growled out.
“No, actually I had just told him that I needed time. That I still needed to recover not just physically from what you did, but mentally, which will take much, much longer. I need time by myself, I need to get back to training, and I need to allow Akayla to stretch her legs. I need to help Kevin deal with his baggage too. Those are important and need to be done. I will assure you both, that I am in no need of an abusive ex-mate, or a new boyfriend. I am not trying to hurt either one of you, but I am not willing, or able, to open my heart only for it to be destroyed again. I can’t allow it. I need time, and I need to work through and process what I actually need. For the next 6 months, I need no man in my life, except Kevin. That is it. So you can stop this stressful flex that you both have going on. I am not some award to be won. I have been crushed, and need to rebuild myself into someone who is reborn to be stronger and wiser than I used to be. To achieve that, I am asking you both to please stop. Stop the pressure you are applying, stop the flexing, because you are not doing what you think you are. You think you are being sweet, romantic even, but all I feel from both of you is stress. You are pressing me down, and I feel like I cannot even breathe from the sheer weight of it” I told them and tried to stay calm while I said it.
I wanted to cry from all the burden that they are putting on me. Now that I am feeling better, they need me to pick one of them, today. I will not do it, I know that is what they want, but I am not going to let either of them control the direction I take. The tension in the room was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. I can feel the hurt radiating off of Max, he is clearly upset at me for asking for time, but he pressed the issue when I was nicer about it earlier. I can also feel the anger and hurt coming off of Blake, as well. He is trying to control it, but he is so overwhelmed with it, that it just keeps seeping out of him.
“I will give you time, Cheryl, I am sorry for pushing you. You are right, I will give you more time to process everything. You are worth the wait for me, and I will be here for you whenever you are ready. Just let me know, as you already know where I will be” Max said, as he tried to make a small doctor joke as he picked up his clipboard to leave my room. I refused to laugh, I am upset with him now. His mentioning me texting Anton made me very upset. I only text Anton when I am alone. Kevin doesn’t even know about him yet. I didn’t know if I needed to introduce them or wait to see how it went. But knowing that Max has been watching me from the hallway like that, makes me very uncomfortable, to say the least.
Everyone else moved over to let him out, except Blake. Blake was about an inch taller than Max, and he made sure to take a deep breath in to expand his chest to try to intimidate Max. It didn’t work, and Max gave him a smirk to let him know that he wasn’t concerned about Blake. I do not allow myself to feel bad about what I said to either of them right now. I told Max as nicely as I could earlier, and he pressed the issue even further. He was the one who should know full well that I was not supposed to be stressed. What the hell was he thinking? I can feel Blake’s eyes on me, as he stepped into the room. I saw him smile at the two Azalea plants that he had bought me earlier, and he put the new flower arraignment on the little rolling table next to the bed. I appreciate the flowers. He doesn’t have to send them, but they are lovely. I thanked him again for the flowers and lay back on my bed and closed my eyes. I will pretend to be getting a nap, so he can just leave.
“I know that you are not asleep, Cheryl. I slept with you for 15 years, I know the difference between you really sleeping and you being awake” Blake tells me and the tone in his voice reminds me of all the times that we spent in our bed, knowing that our mate was awake, and needed comfort. Those moments were some of my most precious memories. Ones where he treasured me, and spent time showing me how well he knew me, in those early morning hours when it was just the two of us. Those days were long gone now, and I knew he was just trying to remind me that my time there at Black Moon was not always horrible.
I heard another chair being brought into the room and sat down. I opened my eyes to see Justin with his hands still on the chair that was clearly brought in for Raven to sit in, and Blake is sitting in the one closest to my bed. Brandon nodded to me and then left after two warriors arrived to stand at my door. I could almost cry from the care that they are giving me when they truly didn’t have to. I caused Brandon so many problems, and cost the pack so much, but they still took me in at my greatest time of need. Black Adder has my trust and support, we will both defend our pack as needed. I will make sure that I do my best for my Black Adder. Both Kevin and I are considered to be rogues, but as soon as I am cleared from the hospital they were going to hold a ceremony for us both to become members of Black Adder. Kevin can’t wait to become official here.
“What do you want to say then, Blake? Just say your peace, and leave. I do not want Kevin to get upset if he finds out that you are here” I told him in a low tone. We have an audience, Raven and Justin are both in the room, although Justin has gone to the far corner and is on his cell phone right now. I don’t want to speak to Blake, but he did do a favor for us by allowing us to say what we needed to Graham, so I am sure he called in a favor to come and visit today.
“I wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for my actions. That I want you back. That I love you and would do anything for you” Blake said.
Kevin Sets Blake Straight