Chapter 74 - She doesn't want me

**Jason** -

When someone knocked on my door I had this swelling sensation in my chest, I was so hopeful that it was Tara, that she had finally come to talk to me about whatever had her holding herself back from our bond. It has been an agonising 24 hours since we discovered our bond and so far I had spent a grand total of about 30 minutes with her. Was I a disappointment? Had I failed her in some way already? I had spent the last 23 and a half hours trying to distract myself, telling myself she will come around, she will come to me, we will be together. I haven’t slept, I haven’t been able to eat, I can barely bring myself to move from the sofa I managed to stumble to after she fled from my presence last night.

Seeing Cassie standing behind my door was heartbreaking, I had managed to convince myself it was Tara. I love Cassie, we share that special bond that comes from being Luna and Gamma, and under any other circumstances my initial reaction to seeing her would be joy, followed by worry based on the expression I see on her face, and then suddenly I can’t see her face anymore, but I feel her arms around my torso, I feel the squeeze she gives me, letting me know without words that she is here and that she knows something is wrong even if she doesn’t know what.

My Luna is an angel, freshly mated, with an angry beta on the run who wants her and she still finds time to find me and offer me comfort. Realising I am still standing in my doorway with my Luna wrapped around me and my arms hanging limply at my sides, I force myself into action and give her a light squeeze back before stepping away from her.

“Jase, what’s going on? No offence but you don’t look so great,” She speaks to me after watching me for another moment. “What happened last night? I saw Tara earlier and she didn’t seem too great either, did you fight?”

“I don’t know what happened, I carried her back here and took her to the main entertainment room, I figured coming to my room might be too much too soon, like you she has a wounded bird aura and I didn’t want to frighten her.” I run my fingers through my hair again and notice it is knotted, walking into my roms I leave the door open waiting for Cassie to follow me in, “I sat quietly, waiting for her to speak, to do something, anything, and when she did she said she needed time, that we had to go slow, and then she said she had to go and practically ran from the room, I haven’t seen her since.”

“Oh Jase, I’m so sorry, I saw her earlier and she seemed sad if that helps? I don’t know what happened to her, so I can’t help you, but I am here, I am here for as long as you need me. Think of me as your sounding board, if you need to shout, do it, if you need to cry, I’m here, if you want to bounce ideas around on what to do next then i’m good with that too, I’m here for whatever you need Jase.” Seeing her sincerity nearly does bring me to tears, but I have held them in this ling, I refuse to let them fall now. “First things first though,” she carries on, “you need to go shower and change your clothes, then when you are done there will be food here for you to eat, I am not taking no for an answer, how can you expect to woo your mate looking like that or falling down from fatigue and hunger?” She puts her hands on her hips and then points to the bathroom. I laugh quietly to myself remembering the timid girl of a few short weeks ago and make my way to the bathroom conceding defeat in the face of her determination.

**Cassie** -

Once Jason has gone into the bathroom I mindlink Jack to let him know where I am and what is happening,

Jack, something is up with Jason and Tara, I'm with Jason now and he is a mess, he needs me so I will be here for a while.

OK little one, let me know if you need anything, I will stay here and do some paperwork, let me know when you're leaving and I will meet you.

I will, I love you.

Love you too little one.

Then I call down to the kitchens and ask them to bring up a variety of foods. I don't know what Jason is more likely to eat so I want some of everything. I plan on staying here as long as it takes, I can't let Jason slip into a depression and he is already showing clear signs of doing just that.

Waiting for Jason to finish up in his shower I think over his predicament, I try to think of things that could help him, I know from Jack that he has always wanted his mate, than he was worried for a time that he had lost her, or that she was from a distant pack and they were likely to never meet. Being the Gamma of a pack limits the amount of travel one can do, the Gamma’s main priority needs to be the protection of the pack’s Luna, and if she doesn’t travel, or doesn’t travel to the right places then it can be hard to meet other wolves. In this regard he is lucky that he has met her since she is not from this pack. Thinking about that, she isn’t from Twin Lakes Pack either originally, I wonder where she is from. I make a mental note to ask Jack if he knows where she was born, but I don’t link him as at that moment a knock on the door precedes one of the kitchen staff entering rolling a trolley full of food into the room.

Jason exits the bathroom moments after I have finished closing the door to his room and I turn to see him looking much more like his usual self, though his eyes are still red rimmed and tired looking.

“Come on, you need to eat, we can talk while you do, I didn’t know what you would want so I asked for a bit of everything,” I cringe a little internally at this, it looks a lot like pity and that is not how any of this is meant to be perceived.

“Thanks, it does smell good,” he takes a seat on the edge of his bed and pulls the trolley closer taking a deep sniff of some of the goodies that have been provided.

Digging into the bowl of Mac and Cheese he sighs gratefully as the food reaches his belly and he quickly eats more.

“I didn’t realise how hungry I was,” he says as his stomach growls in appreciation.

I giggle then take a seat beside him and help myself to some of the toad in a hole. Jason playfully slaps my hand away but then resumes feeding himself and leaves me to my own food. I tell him about the plan we have in motion for catching Ace, I tell him all I learnt that day about what Dave and Jack have been doing to try to find him, I tell him about Daisy and how she is getting on in her new pack, I talk about anything I can think of that is going to distract him from his pain.

When most of the food is gone we sit in silence for about 20 minutes, letting our stomachs settle, before he speaks again, “I don’t know what I have done,” he sighs, “what could I have done to make her not want me?” He looks at me with forlorn eyes.

“It isn’t something you have done, I am sure of it, up until yesterday you hadn’t seen each other before, how could it be something you did?” I reply confidently in my words, “You need to keep showing up, I think something in her past is stopping her from moving forward, you need to be there for any time she might be willing to open up. I am going to try to get the truth from her about her past, maybe if she opens up to me it will relieve the burden and she will be more open to you, but you still need to make yourself available to her at all times.”