HE

HE
   My entire body stiffened when her hand grabbed at the elbow of my shirt, I pause in my steps, fighting the urge to turn around and beg to be in her life, knowing fully well I didn’t deserve it. 
 “Can you wait for me? Until I am ready.” she whispers, I could feel all her emotions from just a few words, the hurt, the desperation, the love.
Of course I would wait, I waited years to see her, years to tell her I loved her, years to hold her in my arms, waiting would be too much mercy for me. 
 Turning slowly, I find her tear streaked face staring at her feet, her sniffles wracking her entire body. Guilt pushed through my body, with my thumb hooked under her face, gently, I make her face me, her lips quivered as she stared at me.
 “I will wait, take whatever time you need, I will be waiting.” I tell her honestly as I wiped the tears from her face. She smiles, her eyes brightening and my lungs expelled all the air it had been holding.
 “No matter how long?”
“It doesn’t matter to me, I will be waiting, I am yours.”
  That was a week ago, I was still waiting, but impatiently, I had taken short term work to fill up my time, just so I was  not stalking her as Joanne had so kindly put it. 
Food no longer tasted the same, there was no need to cook, Joanne and Clay took turns in checking in on me, under the guise of hanging out.
 “Tuna casserole again?” Richard moaned when Joanne brought out dinner for today, she narrows her eyes at him.
“And you are still here, and alive.” she says drily.
I tune out their bickering, it was always the same, always, she could only make a handful of dishes, and while I was grateful, Richard wasn’t.
 “Your father has requested a meeting with you, again.” I say spooning the food into my mouth, I couldn’t tell if the food was bland or because I was only eating to survive.
Richard bristled in his seat, since I started working out ways for him to leave the business, a fight that leaves a bad taste in the mouth, Richard has refused to see his father, and that is all he wants, to see his son, an outsider would think he was trying to make amends, but I knew he was only going to try playing mind games.
 Richard shoveled food into his mouth, spoon after spoon, trying to avoid speaking, with a sigh I return to my food.
 “You don’t have to, I was just giving you updates, and Clay said they are very likely to win, I trust Clay’s judgement.” I say again, my eyes falling on the clock beside me, it was almost time for a new mini series that promised a cameo role for this week’s episode, and an insider tells me it will be Rachel. It was almost time.
 “That’s good, I have good news, I think I know what I want to do with my life.” he says excitedly, he has been like this for days now, he says he is on the hunt for his passion. And my house has been suffering the consequences of his actions.
 “What is it going to be this time? Dolphin trainer??” Joanne groans in frustration,
He had done all sort of things, he randomly said he wanted to be a horse trainer, he was no good, he fell from the horses more times than I could count, he wanted to be a professional swimmer, he could not swim, he wasn’t even athletic, I had locked the kitchen in fear of whatever idea he would come up with.
 “No seriously...” he starts just as the sound of the gate rings throughout the house, letting us know a package had been delivered.
He smiles, hopping off his seat,
 “It’s here.” he rushes towards the gates, I shake my head as he darts off, he was becoming more like the kid I knew before.
“Is she okay?” I ask like I do every time I see her, I know Joanne and her were communicating again.
 She busies herself with putting the left overs in the fridge, with the other left overs she had been leaving since, we have been surviving on take outs, none of us eats the left overs.
 “She is, yes she is still at the short let, she isn’t going on anymore dates with the paparazzi, she is eating well, and you can call her yourself you know.”
 I rub he heels of my palm against my eyes,
“I don’t want her to think I was rushing her, I did tell her to take her time.” I murmur, my eyes falling on the clock again. Was time moving really slow, or was I moving too fast?
 “She wouldn’t think that.” she murmured before closing the fridge with all the left overs in it.
“One of these days, you guys will finish all of the left overs, I assure you.”
She says fetching her coat and her purse, I knew she was heading to the short let, I heard from Clay that she sometimes spent the night there, or they shared a glass of wine and talked before she left.
 I pull out the bag I had gotten, thrusting it in her face nervously,
“It is getting cold.”
She peeks inside the bag, the coats and jackets I had gotten were all her style, she was going to like them no doubt, but would she like a present coming from me now? Would it not be pushing too much?
 Joanne smiled,
“Finally.”
“What do you mean finally??”
She sighed, “She knows I come from here, don’t you think she would be expecting something from you?? How can men be so dense?”
 My eyes widen, she was expecting something from me?? 
“This would suffice, but this wouldn’t be the least she would get.” she winked, shaking the bag.
 Hope blossomed in my chest as I follow her out, my mind already whirring with different things and ways I was going to surprise her now that I had been led in the right direction.
  We are stopped at the door by the giant package Richard was hauling inside, Joanne groaned.
“What is this?” I ask, blinking as he struggled.
“Help me, it is my new passion.” he wheezed.
And as he pulled on it, the package tears and a billion yarn pours out of it, Joanne and I stare silently while he swears, running after the yarn.
 “MY YARN!”
“What is this now?”
“Can’t you tell? You are looking at the next crocheting master.” he calls from over his shoulder.
 “You are baby sitting a giant kid with too much money.” Joanne tells me.
“HEARD THAT!”
I roll my eyes, my eyes landing on the clock, it was time, I run to the front of the Tv, the thirty minutes sit com was just starting.
 My eyes stay glued to the screen, and when she walked on set, it was like everything froze, nothing else mattered, she was the only person existing in the world for me. She smiled at something a co star had said, i missed her so much, she looked genuinely happy. No matter what any body said, she was born to be a star, she was born to do this.
 As a cameo, the only words she said on her two minute time was,
“Call me.”
I knew, instinctively, that she was talking to me.