Chapter 82

Chapter 82
“I don’t understand.” Toby's brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of what I had just said, and normal Maddie would have reached out and smoothed those ridges, but I held myself.

I have to be focused.

“It is as plain as I have said it, Toby. You have two options.” I began, laying it to him as I would to a little child. “You can either decide we are going to do this very well, and you follow me to my pack, mark me, and take your place beside me as my equal.” I had to put the equality there to let him know that I would never see him less. “Or we break the bond here and reject each other because I refuse to do this back and forth with you!”

“Maddie, you can’t be serious right now.” Toby frowned, looking at me like I had gone crazy. “I thought we had been making progress. This has been working for us!” He held his hands out in desperation, and I shook my head. 

“No! This has not been working for us; it has never been.” I yelled. “We have just been trying to make it work. How long do you think we can continue this? Until we grow old and die?”

“Maddie!” Toby warned me, a certain edge in his voice, and I knew he had begun to get angry. Well, welcome to the club.

“Take a look at me.” I swept my hands over my body. “Can’t you see what is wrong?”

Toby moved closer, his eyes roaming around me as he tried to look for what was wrong, and I would have thought it was cute the way he was squinting, but I was too mad to care.

“There is nothing to see except how beautiful you are.” He confessed, and a smile threatened to spill from his lips, and I would have succumbed. But I shook my head and pointed to my shoulders. 

“We have been mates for a year now, or more than that, yet my neck is still bare. I have known people that we had met before they became mates, but they are fully mated, enjoying the bond, and I have nothing to show for it.”

“Maddie.” Toby ran his hands through his hair, a telltale sign he was getting annoyed. “I thought we had talked about this. I don’t want to continue going down this path with you. You knew what our situation was; I have explained it to you countless times, but you decided you were willing to do this.”

“I know!” I yelled, my eyes already watering. “I thought I could do this, but I am not cut out for this. I need my mate beside me at all times; else I will just have to come to the fact that I have no one.”

“Maddie.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

“It is time you choose Toby. Me, or your pack.” I said, and I waited for him to say something, but his lips were sealed shut, his eyes refusing to meet me.

Somehow I knew; I could already tell what his decision was going to be. I think I already knew, but I tried to push it back. His silence was only pointing to one thing, and I wasn’t going to stay and wait until he spelled it out for me.

“You have made your decision.” I announced I was calling out the outcome of a vote. I looked around for anything I may have missed until I remembered I had not brought anything with me, and I turned my back towards him and marched out of the door.

I raised my chin up as I walked, refusing to fall until I got to my car, and I entered inside. I gripped the steering wheel so tightly that it hurt in a bid to stabilize myself because I was so close to losing it.  

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, and I did it again, counting to 5 before I released it. I did it five more times until I was sure I wasn’t going to burst out in tears, and I looked up at the mirror, my puffy eyes enough to scare the dead.

Thank goddess I brought my sunglasses.

I wore it on my face, brushing my hair into place, and I turned on the radio, searching for a trendy pop song that should put me out of my bad mood, and I began to drive again.

The further I drove from the pack, the further I felt our connection strain, and I was a bit clear-headed, but that didn’t help the heartache that was clawing at me.

I managed to reach the pack house in one piece, and I found a spot in the garage and came down. I murmured in response to the numerous greetings I heard, but all my focus was to just lie down in bed and wait for the final snap.

Any moment from now, he would reject me, and it would all be over. I could start over again, and if I had been on the goddess favorite person list, I could get a second chance, and in some years, I could put this incident behind me.

I was marching up to my office because I needed to do something to distract myself before I lost it or did something stupid like run back to him. It was time I put on the big girl pants and started living independently, but the universe had another plan for me.

My siblings were just coming out of their office, their laughter echoing throughout the hallway, but they both froze in place, their noses flaring as they perceived my scent, and they turned to look at me.

“I thought you were going to be on a weekend getaway with the mate. What happened?” Ryan asked as they neared me, and I held my doorknob, ready to escape before they found out.

“Yeah, sis.” Dylan added. “Or have you guys decided to come to the pack?

“Hmm.” I shook my head, trying to signal them to stop; their words were only doing more harm than good, but they inched closer until they surrounded me, their bodies towering over me.

“Why are your eyes red?”

“Have you been crying?” They both echoed at the same time that it was hard to pick who said what, especially when I was trying not to cry.I tried to hold it together, swallowing the lump in my throat, but their words had cut through the fragile barrier I had built. 

And just like that, the dam I had been holding back shattered, and all hell let loose.