Chapter 81

Chapter 81
I found myself nodding my head to the beat of the music as I drove down the path that led to the park. Traveling down to Toby’s pack was fast becoming a normal thing, and I wished one day it would be permanent.

A natural smile found its way to my lips as the gates came into view, my body instinctively relaxing as I neared my mate. The large gate swung open as I got to the entrance, and the guard nodded his head as he saw me. I wasn’t a stranger here anymore.

I secured a spot in the garage and passed through the back door, trying to reduce as much contact with people as I could. If it were possible, I would only like to see my mate.

I took the elevator to his room, and when it stopped, I was making my way down the hallway to his room. I pushed the door open, never getting used to seeing it yield so easily. For the head of war, Toby had no sense of personal security. But then again, who would dare steal from him?

That would be a death sentence to the suspect.

I dropped my bags on the chair, and I peeled off the clothes I had worn. I strutted to the bathroom and stood under the shower. His body wash caught my eye, and I picked it up, lathering myself thoroughly with it until I was sure I would be smelling like him.

He is in for a surprise.

I got out of the bathroom and got dressed only in my underwear because I was too lazy to do anything else, and I lay on the bed, waiting for him.

My ears perked up as I heard his footsteps approaching, and I quickly turned to my stomach, positioning myself in a way that my ass was the first thing he would see when he came in.

Devilish I know.

The door opened, and my body pulsated with energy as I felt his gaze on me—it was difficult trying to hide my smile. “Hmmm.” Toby made a noise of satisfaction from the back of his throat, and my body tingled in response.

“Welcome home.” I purred from where I lay, carefully turning my head to see his wide smile.

“Now, this is something I would want to come home to every day.” His voice had lowered into a husky baritone, and the sound of his footsteps filled the room as he made his way to me.

I felt a sharp sting of his palm on my butt and drew a sharp breath in shock rather than pain, but his hand came down again, this time rubbing it to soothe the pain, and I felt his lips on my back.

“What did I do to deserve such an early Christmas?” He teased, and I rolled over, raising my head to kiss him better.

“I can leave if you are not ready.” I whispered.

“Don’t you dare!” He growled on my lips, and I was rewarded with a crushing kiss that turned me to jelly in his hands. “I have missed you.” He murmured again close to my lips, and I smiled.

Toby only let me go when our stomachs began to rumble and his eyes flickered to the wall clock. “Do you want to eat dinner with the pack or…” He trailed, and I shook my head. I was trying to make my arrival as quiet as possible.

The only person that knew apart from my mate was Kane because I had to get permission to enter his pack, and I wanted to keep it like that.

“Alright. I will have to check what they have and see if it is to your liking.” He said, standing up and leaving me alone in the room.

I reached for my phone to inform my siblings that I had arrived and had to bear their playful jab at me. Honestly, I preferred this light teasing over the hostility we once had towards each other.

I don’t even know how it happened, but the former dynamic we had between us was gone and replaced with a more natural one. I wouldn’t say we were best friends now; we were far from that, but at least we weren’t trying to kill each other.

I busied myself with hopping from one social media platform to another but never finding anyone to keep my curiosity; however, it was all forgotten when Toby came back and flashed his dazzling smile in my direction.

“Sorry for the delay. I had to make sure to bring varieties.” Tony apologized, looking pointedly at the tray he was holding, and I shook my head.

“It is alright. I will eat whatever is available.” I told him, rising up to meet him. I cannot be picky when it is not my pack.

“I got one of everything, so you can make your pick.” I could already perceive the grilled salmon, and I was already salivating. I helped him clear the bed, and he set the food down, and we began to eat. The room was filled with the clinking of the cutlery on the plates and our chatter.

And what better way to end the day? 



And so the cycle began. 

Toby and I had crafted a means to strengthen the bond, and for that to work, we had to be seeing each other at least once a week. We had decided that weekends were for mates, and we would take turns visiting each other. I would go to his pack this week, and the next he was in my pack.

And honestly, we made so much progress since I found out he was my mate. This was the perfect intervention, and it seems to be working out for us.

We could go on dates and do things couples do, only that both our necks were bare, and after what happened the last time Toby tried to bring it up, we had declared the topic was not to be mentioned anymore.

At first it was exciting and fun, and I was always looking forward to the next one. Toby was always outdoing himself every date night, and it was nice, or so I thought.

However, each visit only made me feel more lonely. Meetings became a blur as I found myself staring blankly at papers, barely registering what was being said. I would catch myself zoning out, my thoughts drifting to him, wondering what he was doing at that moment. The days after he left were even worse, as it was difficult trying to function as normal.

Lia would completely shut down on me, refusing to do anything, and not even a run could coerce her from that state. And whenever he came, it was as if a missing piece of me had finally fallen into place. My world seemed brighter, my chest lighter, and I felt alive again.

This back and forth continued for a month until I knew I couldn’t continue to live like this. It wasn’t healthy, especially when I was considering having a child of my own.

I knew I had to come to a drastic decision.

“I don’t think…” I opened my mouth, but the dreaded words refused to come out. It was my turn to visit, and I was still standing in front of the mirror rehearsing how I would broach the topic. “Fuck it! I will just wing it.”

I set out early in the morning determined to prep myself well before he closed for the day. If everything turned out well, I would be coming back early, and if it didn’t turn out well, I would still come home early.

I hadn’t bothered to take anything with me because I was here for serious business.

I waited for him to return, and as soon as he walked through the door, we exchanged the usual pleasantries—although we did more kissing with our mouths than words. We had eaten dinner together, and we had sat down to rest while waiting for the food to digest when I struck.

I cleared my throat, my hands fidgeting with the loose thread on my clothes, but Toby’s keen eyes were already on me, his brow furrowing with concern. 

“Are you alright, love?” 

“Yes, but something has been on my mind lately, and I thought to share.”

“Alright, go ahead.” His entire focus was on me, and it was hard getting the words out, not when he was looking at me with so much love.

“I don’t know about you,” I began, my throat felt tight and parched, but I continued to push the words out, “but this constant back and forth is wearing me out. It is exhausting, Toby. And honestly… I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore.” I forced myself to meet his gaze, and what I saw almost broke me.

“I don’t understand. Maddie?” He shifted in his seat, trying to reach me, but I evaded his touch, refusing to be swayed.

“I think it is time we come to a decision.” I continued, choosing to focus on the wall in front of me.

Toby’s brow furrowed as he studied me, his eyes squinted as if trying to determine the person that was sitting beside him. “What are you trying to say?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “I can’t keep going back and forth. I am the alpha, and my duty is to my people. You will either have to come with me, or we break the bond.”

There. I said it.