Chapter 26 - Craig
Craig strapped Isaac’s car seat into Jack’s car for the final time. Craig’s luggage was in the back, his diaper bag packed and ready for a full day of travel. Isaac’s temperature was back to normal. Craig hoped it would help him fend off some of the germs he was about to be exposed to during their travels.
“You’ve got everything?” Jack asked. He stood behind Craig.
“Yep.”
“Enough diapers for a whole day?”
“Yep.”
“Wipes?”
“Yep.”
“A few changes of clothes, just in case he messes himself or spills something?”
Craig ducked out from the car and turned to face Jack. He pulled Jack into his arms and held him close. It didn’t matter if Lane saw. Hell, it didn’t matter if Roman saw. Right now both of them needed reassurance.
“I’ve got everything,” Craig said. “I triple checked. I even made a list. Do you want to go over it before we head out?”
Jack’s arms tightened around him. “No. I trust you.”
“I’m glad.”
Craig released Jack. Jack did the same. He took a step back and looked Jack over, saying goodbye to paradise. Craig knew he’d come back, but he knew it would never be like this again.
“We need to go,” Craig said. He didn’t want to say it, but he had to. If they loitered he might miss his flight.
“I know.” Jack looked at his shoes. “Let’s go then.”
It was a somber drive to the airport. Craig barely recognized the landmarks, but every time he noticed something familiar, longing twisted his stomach into a knot. Every mile along the way was a memory shaped by Jack.
The airport loomed in the distance. Craig caught sight of the air control tower and he sank into his seat, miserable. Jack glanced his way and laid a hand on Craig’s thigh.
“It’s going to be okay,” Jack promised. “You’re going to get through this. Everyone’s going to see what a terrific dad you are.”
“Because you helped me become one,” Craig said. “I just… I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“Take it one step at a time,” Jack advised. “Focus on Isaac. Get plenty of sleep. If you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out.”
The airport appeared on the horizon. They made the exit to take them to it.
“I meant…” Craig couldn’t say what he meant. The words tangled in his throat and choked him.
“Mm?” Jack asked.
I meant I don’t know what to do about us. I don’t want to go.
“No, it’s not important.” Craig shook his head. Right now he needed to focus on being a parent. If things with Jack were supposed to work out, they would. He had faith. And if they didn’t, he already had a man in his life who made life worth living. Craig would fight for Isaac until the end.
Jack brought them to the departure area of the airport. He put the car into park and let it run. Craig took a deep breath.
This was it. This was goodbye.
“Thank you for hosting me and Isaac,” Craig said. After all they’d shared together, a goodbye like that sounded impersonal. Jack meant so much more.
“You’re welcome.” Jack ran his hands over the steering wheel. He shook his head, then opened the door. Craig followed. They exited the car together to pull out the luggage and unstrap Isaac. Jack held Isaac while Craig stacked his bags as best he could. He’d forgotten how cumbersome they were.
When there was no more luggage left to finagle, Craig took a deep breath and held out his arm to take Jack’s car seat. Jack looped the handle over his arm. There was so much Craig wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. To do so felt like too final a goodbye.
“Let me carry your luggage,” Jack said. “At least until you check it.”
“You’d need to park to do that,” Craig said with a wry grin. “You left your car running in the drop-off spot.”
“… Shit.” Jack bowed his head. “Wait for me?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve got this.” Craig bit down on his lip. Was this really it?
“Text me when you’ve landed in LA. I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will.”
“And… text me when you get back to your condo safe,” Jack said. “I don’t know if your parents are still upset about Isaac, but it’d make me feel better to know you’re safe at home.”
“I will.”
They stood awkwardly before each other, neither of them daring to make the first move. Craig squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath. When he opened his eyes again, he stepped forward and cupped Jack’s cheek with his free hand. Jack’s eyes were misted with tears he refused to let fall.
“Thank you for everything,” Craig said. Then he kissed him.
Craig had been worried that out in public he’d feel differently about being with Jack. He was wrong. The second their lips met, Craig felt the familiar shock run through him. It worked down his spine in fits and bursts and danced in his gut.
He was going to miss Jack more than he’d missed anyone before.
The kiss broke. Jack looked up at him from beneath his lashes, impossibly gorgeous. Craig smiled even though he felt sad.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” Craig asked. He stepped back and took hold of his luggage. He rolled it toward the sliding doors. “I’ll be back in touch soon.”
“Take care of yourself, too,” Jack said. “And take care of Isaac. I’m going to miss both of you.”
The sliding doors opened. Craig stepped through them and looked back at Jack one last time. Soon enough he was lost in the sea of travelers bustling on the public side of the airport.
Craig wasn’t just a man anymore—he was a parent—and no matter how much it hurt, he had to do what was right for his son.