CHAPTER 25

Audrey had always thought adult life would be much more bearable than teenage. But nothing of that sort happened. Life was the same as it had always been. Biting, full of restrictions and often indulged in fiction. Nate was the only light in it. And this time he came with the thunder. Though the gate that she had harboured in her heart for Michaela seems to be pointless now. The truth behind Audrey's infatuation with Nate was only because he was probably the only one who issued attention to her. He was there ever since she was introduced to romance and the figments if it. And so she's pursued Nate because he was handsome, rich and available.

One of those days in the last when she started at Nana's for the new year she use to skip into his trailer to watch him sleep. She was fifteen at that time and suddenly for some reason Cassy and Nate had become distant. She used the opportunity to grow her bond with Nate. One night when she sneaked into his trailer. Nate had shaven and smelled of old spice. Completely unaware of Audrey's presence he slept like a baby lost in the dream world. Very quietly she approached him, she was enchanted by his beauty. Though she knew it was arrive, she wasn't in control of herself. And so she placed a little kiss on his lips.

Till date, Nate has no idea about what had taken place in his room that night. All he knows is Audrey had become more conscious of his private space and maintained her distance when talking to him. The guilt that came after, was an eye opener for Audrey. She had trespassed into his space it made her sick to her gut. What would happen if Nate somehow came to know what she had done. He would be so disappointed in her and the comfort that he shared with her would be forever gone. And so the distance invaded their relationship.

On the later years when Gloria, her best friend died, Audrey was devastated. Not only because of the loss of her friend but because of the fact that she’ll never know why. Even though, that night near the bonfire she had told everyone that Gloria never opened up about her personal life to her. It was not true. Audrey’s narcissistic tendencies was so overpowering that every time Gloria tried talking to get about her own self, Audrey would interrupt the conversation with topics that revolved around her.

She remembers the days before Gloria committed suicide. Huge dark circles decorated the his of her eyes. It was as if she wasn't sleeping at all. When Audrey asked her about it, she ignored it by saying she was having trouble sleeping. She didn't trust Audrey anymore. Atleast not enough to open up you her about it.

The day she died, Audrey did not even go to the ceremony. She spent most of her days kicked in her room. Crying for hours at times.

Nate visited her one evening and took her for a ride. He took her to the mountains and held her while she cried her heart out.

Meanwhile, back at school no one talked to her. They stopped paying attention to her, blaming her for her friend’s death and accusing her to be the quest person one can have in their lives. But Audrey was to strong to be broken by their hostility. She indulged in reading and often writing as well. In most of her works she’d imagine herself to be the protagonist, while Nate was the hero. It just felt easier that way. And whenever she met Nate she would describe to him dinner if the scenes straight out of the books. It somehow pleased her that she could convince Nate into thinking that the incidents were true. And in some cases she was fascinated by the idea that he might even get jealous. It was all a play to her, until Michaela arrived. The thunderstorm in all the proper sense.

Unlike Nate, Michaela didn’t shy away from calling out to her lack of discipline. Audrey was disgusted by her guts at first. But later on, she looked up to her. Even though it’s not something she is proud of or would ever talk about it to anyone, Michaela in many sense is like the mother she never had.

Today sitting near the sea, it astounds her how much she has changes. How time has altered not only her beliefs but her personality altogether.

Nate's place in her life has and will always be the same. But now she understands his need for distance and basic human decency. And she is more than obliged to adhere to them. For years he was by her side, and this is her time to show his her loyalty.

“Come on Audi. I’ll break my spine if I keep doing all of this alone.”

Steven shouts at her and beckons her towards the house.

“ Come on. Gilberto will kill me if I get there a minute late. “

Audrey gets to her feet and makes a run towards the house. The physical labour that they need to put in is sickening, however, it will all be worth it at the end; she reminds herself.

Though her thoughts are whirling in her head relentlessly, her eyes her stuck on Steven’s ass. How come she never noticed how fleshy they were? Probably because she was so caught up on Nate and her illusionary relationship with him, she wouldn’t have noticed a person dying beside her when she was with him.

But now that she knows better, Steven could be just as good of a choice.

“ Where were you when we started? Your hand would have been appreciated.”

“ Xavier and I were having a discussion about Plato, the giant brown stallion. He looks sick. We don’t really want to send him away for tonight.”

“ He is the most preferred by everyone though isn’t he? Maybe if you tell them he’s sick, they’ll skip him for tonight.”

Steven shrugs his shoulders.

“Come running before I sue your asses in American gold.” Gilberto yells at them.

“ How long does a break last for you all? It’s already been fifteen minutes. Keep up with your laziness and we won’t be able to go to the fare tonight. The truck is here, get Pacho loading before the race starts.”

The energy in the air is like never before. The race is about to start , and the horses are out here yawning waiting to be loaded. Meanwhile, Cassy is braiding every hair out of the mares and stallions. Michaela is resting, her job of bathing them is done and her foot has not yet completely healed. Nana is probably still sleeping. Nate is on his desktop, blabbering something about his business and stuff.

“ Where is Xavi? He cannot stay put for one day. God knows where he wanders away to every now and then.”

“I’ll go and look for him.” Steven says, hopping his way to the stable.

“I’m sure he isn't even there. That boy will be the death of me.”

Gilberto sighs and sits on the ground. For a long time they wait for Steven and Xavier to arrive. When they don’t Gilberto begs his lovely daughter for help.

“Go help him, Audi.”

Audrey is so tired she feels sleepy already. But Papa’s instructions cannot be ignored and so she makes her way towards where Steven just disappeared.

The horses snort as she walks through. She approaches the back of the stable.

Steven sits on a chair facing the wall. Is this his idea of finding Xavier?

“ Papa’s going to kill you if he sees you wasting time like this.” She says and advances towards him.

Xavier sits in between Steven's legs. His mouth smeared with a....wait what is that?

The shock overtakes Audrey as she realizes that Xavier’s mouth is in fact smeared with Steven’s cum. She catches a glimpse of Steven’s cock that he pulls out of Xavier’s mouth steadfastly.

“What in the name of Jesus...?”

Audrey cannot find the motivation to complete the sentence. She almost faints as the realization dawn on her. Grabbing the wall she runs as if it’s the end of the world.

This can’t happen.

What the hell.

Steven and Xavier?

They were never friends?

How stupid was the whole household?

They are lovers?

They are fucking lovers?

The thoughts choke her brain and it feels as if her system is going to crash.

She basks into the kitchen. Cassy stares at her. She asks something and Audrey replies to her, her mind still stuck on the thought.

They are a couple.

They might even love each other.

He was sucking his cock? Oh no. Don’t go there.

No.

Must have been something else.

What the fuck!!!!

She rushes towards her car and shuts the car door behind her.

With her head resting on the steering wheel, her thoughts take a new turn. A very unpleasant one.

Papa is going to kill Xavier.

The tears flow relentlessly as the thou ght breaks her heart. Will they allow it? Will Steven and Xavier ever get to be together? To live each other? To marry each other? What end date they destined to? She stays put in her place while Xavier tube pillar to post searching for his sister.

From where Audrey sits she can see him. A melancholic expression rests on face he is probably thinking that it's over. Audrey can even point out how scared he looks. But Audrey is scared as well. It could have been anyone. Anybody could have caught them together in those compromising positions and what would they have done? What would they do in the future? What will Gilberto do?

She writes her tears and with a handkerchief she cleans the kohl that has entered beneath her eyelids. She can protect him for now. For as long as she can, she will protect him. The unavoidable will be really worth when it arrives on the doorstep. But for now she can be her brother’s keeper. Sure, someday Gilberto will have to face the truth, of the reality of his son. But it won't be from her. For all she knows is that papa loves them. And if his love is true and unconditional, he’ll accept his blood for all that he is.