CHAPTER 24

The morning is so noisy that Cassy feels like breaking everybody’s head open. She covers her ears with the pillow but the sound of the engines roaring penetrate her ears like a drilling machine. The horses are getting ready to go. An hour later they’d be racing each other to the end of a line pointlessly driven by the men that will sit on them.

And some of them will be taken to the evening fare, to roam around ideally.

Meanwhile, Steven furiously knocks at the door.

“ Cassy! Cassy! You need to braid them up.”

He shouts.

“ I will. Mind your own business.”

She gets up lazily and stretches her body. She is not as fond of New year as everyone would expect her to be. She came here when she was five years old. And since then she has witnessed many people celebrate their last new years. Ana was the first one. Then her parents, then Jon and then Rose .

She can hardly believe how many people she has lost already. And every new year comes bearing the same sickening question. Who now?

Cassy leaves the bed and freshens up. She somehow makes her way to the stable.

“Cherry? Let's braid your mane, girl.” She says.

Cherry trots lightly, making space for Cassy to stand in.

She slips her hands into her mane and smoothens the knots. Then she combs it and divides it into partitions. She braids her mane with the utmost love and care. Then she moves towards her tail. She does the same with her tail, smoothing the knots, and creating long braids. Unlike the mane she doesn’t make them into buns, and let’s them hang.

Michaela enters the stable and falls head over heels for Cherry.

“ Oh! My god! She looks like a dream Cassy.”

Cassy smiles. It’s rare to get appreciated for all the work that she puts in on these creatures. She so when appreciation does come, it only makes her happy.

“Where have you been the whole time? How's your ankle?”

“Better than before. Did you have anything to eat?”

“ I can’t waste any more time. I need to finish braiding these beasts before Nate eats me alive.”

“Okay then. I’ll leave you to it.”

With that Michaela walks away. Leaving Cassy alone in her misery.

Cassy dwells over her sudden liking for Michaela. Days ago she despised her. Every time she placed her hand on Nate’s, jealousy surged through Cassy's veins.

For years she had dreamt of being the only woman Nate could be with. Even as children Cassy cared more for Nate than she ever could for Steven. At first she thought it was sisterly love. But they grew into teenagers, or rather as Nate grew into a teenager and Cassy into an adult, it became clear to her that she could never think of him like a brother.

She can remember Rose telling her,

“ He is not your brother Case. He is your best friend.”

For a long time into adulthood, Cassy mistook it and misinterpreted it into Rose telling her that she wanted them to be a couple. And so in the years to come she carried herself in that way. In a way that Rose wanted her to. Only if she had known, Rose just wanted them to be friends.

When Nate had turned twenty yearly old, into a handsome young man, Cassy couldn’t keep it in anymore. And so on one of those nights when they spent the night in his room reading poems together, she kissed him. At first it was just a peck on his lips. But then she went in again. And this time she let her lips stay a bit little longer on his.

He was the one to pull away.

“We are not supposed to do this Case. You are my best friend , this will ruin our friendship.”

He was way more mature than her but Cassy took it as an insult to her feeling. She basked out of the door, offended at their denial of love.

For days she refused to look at him. Talking was forbidden as well.

“Case. I’m sorry. I didn't mean it that way.” He ran behind her, yelling, trying to make sense But Cassy was not going to let it go that easy. Even if it hurt her heart, she was adamant to not forgive until he begged for her forgiveness.

Then again Nathaniel Walsh was not the one to beg. And so he conspired a different strategy to get Cassy taking .

One night he slipped into Cassy's room and kissed her. At first Cassy thought it was a dream and not until she started kissing him back did she realize that it wasn't.

“what are you doing” she asked Nate, waking up from the sleep shell shocked..

“I can't lose you Case. Especially not because of something like this. You mean the world to be.”

And so the affair started.

Cassy's needs turned into wants. Being close to him, kissing him, touching him was no more enough. She wanted more of him. She wanted his sweaty naked body below gets and she wanted him to claim her. Cassy didn't want to be anybody else's who wasn’t Nate.

So one evening while they were fussing over Tyson, the first stallion Jon had bought ,she hugged Nate. He let her. Then she kissed him, and he let her. She grabbed him from above his jeans, and no wonder it shocked him and he felt utterly uncomfortable. But he let her. For what it was worth, and for what it wasn’t. Cassy was beautiful. And Nate didn’t want her to think otherwise, that too because of his words or actions.

Cassy could feel his discomfort but she ignored it as hesitance. It wasn't till the end that he loosened up. Every time they had sex, or rather she asked for sex and he obliged, a great deal of time went into getting him to ease up. So one day she decided to let Nate initiate the talk, the kiss , the sex. And so it turned out to be the last time they probably did it. Nate never asked, Cassy agreed with his silence.

But her affection towards him continued. And when the laughing lines hardened, she decided it was time to make it known. He can choose to not have sex with her for the rest of their lives as long as they were together. Nate had never dated any woman or even talked to one. So it was clear to her, they were meant to be.

Hence, one day she woke up washed her hair, put on a cotton white summer dress with lilies on it and left for the jewellery shop. There she bought him a silver band and hopped her way home. In the evening, with everyone sitting at the dining table, she took the liberty to give a speech.

“You are and will always be the one I lost my heart to.

A friend in words and a friend in deed,

Lost is the time that I haven’t spent without you.

In your love my heart fevers, in you I’ve sought peace.

With it without it doesn’t matter

But in your heart I shall always be.”

The present day Cassy would kill at even the mention of that pathetic proposal. But in those days she was as vain as any young girl is in love.

Everyone cheered as Cassy finished reciting the poem. They blessed Nate and her for their friendship and prayed for it to continue in the forth coming years. Until Cassy continued, “ But love doesn’t always have to exist, Only in the form of the one people desire.

I give you the gift of my heart, It is for your love that I aspire.

And so I ask, Will you walk the distance between us even when you’re blind?

Will break this friendship?

Will you make me yours?

Will you be mine?”

She bent her knee and brought out the ring, “Will you? Marry me?”

She had already made an embarrassment out of herself.

And she waited. And waited . For him to say something. For him to at least stand. For him to react in any way.

But Nate sat there, glued to the chair. Flabbergasted. How did she expect him to react?

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

The smile on Cassy's lips fainted.

“Why are you sorry?”

He holds her up and into his arms. The ring acts like a barrier between them. A sour reminder, things won't be the same.

“Cassy please forgive me. Marriage is a pothole I don't want to even wander into. It ruins things, it kills people, and with time it gets plundered with lies and ego. And I can’t let that happen to us. We have enough to suffice. You are and will always be the only woman in my heart. But don’t restrict me with these shackles Cassy. I beg you.”

It was a no coated in the nicest words and genuine intentions. This was it.

What was even more uncanny was the relief that came with it. Not only to Nate but Cassy as well. She had always thought of it as a responsibility. To bind him with herself in the marital bond. Something she had carried on her mind as Rose's death wish.

However, that doesn't in any way denotes that she right away accepted the rejection. She was offended to the core. Not only because Nate had rejected the proposal, but also due to the fact that she looked even more like a pea brain, with how extra she went with the proposal. The cliche as hell poem that too in front of ever damn one present at the table. It was in fact a matter of pride that she was standing on her feet alive. The embarrassment was enough for her to drown in.

She couldn’t be anymore grateful that Audrey was bedridden that day. The more she thought about it, standing there in his arms. The more it made her cry. And so it was decided. It was a secret all of them would take to their graves. It wasn’t Cassy but Nate who proposed Cassy. And she was the one to say no.

They were stupid as young adults, Cassy and Nate. But they had a family of even crazier people, who made all of the craziness look normal. And they were nothing if not thankful to them and their benevolence.

When Michaela came, Cassy got insecure not because they were married. But because Nate had offered her the knowledge about the truth of it. And it pissed her. Her friendship with him was endangered by this woman who treated everything as purchasable. She looked expensive, she smelled expensive, she even talked expensive if that was at all possible.

It wasn’t until time passed that Cassy recognized the innocence behind all the expensiveness. Cassy's insecurity had clouded her judgement. And thus with time, this whole thing between Nate and Michaela only grew funnier.

Now when she looks at Michaela, she can see all the reasons why she the right one for him. She is fierce and feisty while being elegant and cute at the same time. She is too mature for her age. But then she is also understanding, kind and loving. In some ways she is just like Cassy. She often leads with her heart and her emotions often become a barrier between the truth and the illusionary. But then again, she has got the mind to make up for it. She is no fool. Especially to her own self.

Cassy is sucked up in her thoughts when a little boy makes his way in.

Cassy guys the creature while her hands work steadily, braiding the mane.

“Who are you?”

Cassy asks. He looks so small, she doesn’t even know if he can speak. Or understand her.

“ Eie um Roberteoses soun.” He replies, his eyes big and eyebrows raised. As if questioning Cassy's intellect and understanding.

“You are Roberto's son?” she repeats.

He nods and Cassy takes it as an appreciation to her understanding of baby language.

“What is your name?”

He murmurs some words under his breath and thus time Cassy fails to recognize the sound of it.

“What?”

“Ai say ai dhunt o.”

“You don't know?”

He nods again in answer.

“Ahsk Robertoea.”

“You call your father Roberto?”

“Uh huh.”

“ So much for good upbringing.” Cassy smiles at him.

He purses his lips.

“I fead thi last on ego.”

“ Yeah I heard. You fed the last one Lego.”

“Ee deayd.”

“He didn’t just die. He chocked to death.” She pronounces each word precisely so that he understands what she's trying to tell.

He ignores her and moves closer to Cherry.

“Don’t you do anything. She is busy being braided.”

He giggles at her. The naughtiness is oozing out of her eyes.

“Poopoo.”

“Poopoo you.”

“Poopoo.”

“Poopoo you back. You disrespectful mister.” She exclaims.

She rushes through Cherry’s mane. Distrustful of what the creature beside her was capable of.

Meanwhile, Roberto’s son touches Cherry’s tail. Cherry shuffles it lightly making her displeasure known. But that does nothing to stop him. Instead, he pricks her ass hole with his little matchstick like finger.

Cherry in response lifts her right hind leg and kicks him lightly with her fetlock. He falls backward and sticks to the wooden wall of the stable. The cry comes out as a burst. Cassy stands still, unable to comprehend what just happened.

“What did you do? “

She lifts him in his arms as he digs his head into her neck.

“Nuffin.”

“Either you tell me right now or I will leave you ass here to die.” She threatens him while wiping his tears at the same time.

“Nuhhhhh. Dhon live meeeee.” He continues to wail. It’s almost amusing to Cassy.

“I figure his poopoo.”

Cassy feels like leaving him alone in the stable. What goes on in the heads of these creatures. How come they always manage to do the most unpredictable stuff and then play the victim when justice is served. In many ways, he reminds her of Audrey.

Cassy takes the child, which now she knows to be Ramsey to his father. Michaela puts ice on his knee where he complains to feel pain.

“ I don wanno horseie.”

He says. As if he was the one offended.

“Okay my boy. “ Roberto says comforting him.

Cassy goes to the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water. There’s so much more work left for her to do. And her patience is already breaking. She turns around to find Audrey entering the kitchen. Her face is pale like a ghost’s and eyes big as if she has seen one.

“What?” Cassy asks.

“ Nothing just wanted a glass of water. It has been a weird morning.”

Cassy nods and fills another glass for Audrey.

“You can talk to me about it you know.”

“Sure.” Audrey says before gulping down the water and hurrying off towards her car.