Chapter 122 122

Chapter 122 122
I bury my face in my hand. “Do they have to be salacious?”

“I would prefer it that way.”

“The sex was amazing,” I admit with a choked laugh. “But the sex with Daniil has always been amazing.”

“Tell me more. How big was—”

I shudder and interrupt here. “Okay, that’s enough detail. Can we move on, please?”

“But I like this topic.”

“We’ve talked about me enough. Tell me about you, how have you been doing since we left?”

“Same ol’ really. Work, home, repeat. A few Tinder dates here and there. Petro checks up on me every now and again. We chat when I’m really desperate for human interaction. He comes across as annoying at first, but then he grows on you. Like a cold sore I’m getting kinda fond of.”

I chuckle. “I thought you’d be sick of the cloak-and-dagger B.S. by now, actually.”

I hear the crinkle of plastic and know that Emma is digging into yet another bag of gummy worms. The girl single-handedly keeps Haribo in business. “I did ask Petro to ease up on the tight leash security-wise, but he said the bossman would have his balls on a platter if he did that.”

“It’s not a bad thing to keep security going a little longer. Daniil’s just being cautious. He knows how much you mean to Isla and me.”

“Which, to bring the point full-circle, would suggest that he does care about you. Otherwise, why would he use up so many resources trying to make sure the people you care about are safe?”

I bite back a smile. It’s a comforting thought, which means that there’s no way it can be true.

“Have you tried to just talk to him?” she presses. “A simple, honest conversation with no frills.”

“At this point, I’ve lost count of how much I’ve tried to do just that,” I scoff. “Even the simplest conversation with Daniil turns into a freaking minefield. Even if it starts out innocent, it never ends that way. I don’t know; it doesn’t even matter. He’s going to be gone soon.”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“I mean, once he’s settled us in Switz—um, in the next place we’re moving to, then he’s coming back.”

“Oh.”

“He doesn’t know how long he’ll be. So we could be out of the country for six months, a year, ten years. There’s no way to know.”

“Are you prepared for that?”

“Not remotely. But I don’t have a choice.”

“Would it feel easier if he were staying with you?”

I take a deep breath. “I can’t lie: everything seems easier when Daniil’s around. Which doesn’t make a lick of sense considering we’re always butting heads, but—”

“You love him,” Emma finishes simply.

“I don’t want to love him, Em,” I say softly. “It would be so much easier if I didn’t. It would be so much simpler if he was Isla’s dad and nothing else.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but it’s not going to go away just because you decide it’s easier that way.”

“A girl can dream though, right?” I say miserably.

“Who knows? Sure, things are complicated at the moment. Maybe once this horrible business is done with, it’ll be time for a fresh start for all of you.”

“Sounds too good to be true.” I shiver against the cold.

“Whatever happened to believing in fairytales?”

“I’m trying not to be so naïve these days.”

“Why?” Emma demands. “It’s one of your best qualities.”

“Really? Because as far as I can tell, it’s seemed to land me in nothing but a whole load of trouble.”

“Well, at least you’re finally living your life.”

“I was living before,” I say defensively.

“No, you were enduring before. There’s a difference,” she asserts. “You had a job. You had a house. You have exactly one friend. A good friend, a hot friend, a very charming friend, but still only one. You barely went on any dates and when you did, it was because I forced you to with threats and blackmail.”

“What else did I need? I had Isla. I had you.”

“And you’ll always have the both of us, honey,” Emma says gently. “But I hope to get married one day. I hope to build my career and travel the world and live it up. And if you do your job well with Isla, she’s going to leave one day, too. When that stuff happens, what will you be left with?”

What will I be left with? Great question. I know the answer, honestly. I’ll be the woman standing at the edge of a canyon, wondering what will happen if I take one step over the edge.

Down below, I see Daniil stand and dust himself off. He looks up the hill right to where I’m sitting. “It’s time to go,” I say to Emma.

She sighs. “I love you more than life itself, Kinsley Jane.”

“Love you, too, Em.”

I hang up and stare down the mountainside, watching Daniil and Isla, slowly realizing that I’m looking at everything that makes my world go round. Take one away, and my life would feel incomplete.

And all I can think is…

When the hell did that happen?

27

DANIIL

They’re both in awe. But whereas Isla is shameless about it, Kinsley is doing her damndest to keep me from noticing. Our daughter has her face flush against the window, cheeks bright with excitement, oohing and ahhing at everything we see. Kinsley hasn’t said a word since we landed in Switzerland and picked up our new car.

“Look at the little houses!” Isla exclaims as we pass a row of pale pink homes, festooned with flower-decked balconies. “I wish we lived in a pink house. Wait!” She turns to me. “We’re getting a new one. Is it pink?”

I chuckle. “You’ll have to wait to find out.”

We take the next left turn and find ourselves in the shopping district of Lucerne. The river is just a few meters over, but it’s hidden by the maze of hotels and restaurants perched on the water’s edge.

“This is so cool,” Isla breathes. “Mom, isn’t this the coolest?”

“Mhmm,” Kinsley says. I detect an uncomfortable tilt in her voice. Like she’s trying hard to cover something up that she doesn’t want me to see.

My eyes land on her. She slept a few hours on the plane ride over, and she’d been quiet the rest of the time. I kept glancing at her, waiting for her to pepper me with questions or sass—more of the usual. But I got nothing the entire time.

I don’t like it.