Chapter 121: 121

“Fucking hell, Kinsley,” he groans. “We have to stop this.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not good for you,” he snaps. He releases me and steps away. “Why can’t you see that? I’m not fucking good for you.”

“If you truly believed that, then you wouldn’t have come after me.”

“I didn’t—”

“You hunted me down and shoved insurance papers in my hand. And that was before you knew about Isla, so don’t even try pulling out that card. You wanted a reason to see me. You wanted an excuse to be in my life. You were just too proud to admit it. Just like you’re too damn stubborn to admit it now.”

He runs a hand down his face, looking both tired and defeated. “I made mistakes. I was short-sighted. Most times, I think it would have been better if our paths had never crossed at all.”

That makes me stop dead in my tracks. “But… but then you would never have known Isla. And she would never have known you.”

“Maybe not. But she wouldn’t have been kidnapped, and she wouldn’t be on the run or in any danger right now.”

The sting of his guilty words hit me hard. I take a step towards him and open my mouth, but before I can—

“Don’t,” he snarls, holding up his hand like I’m some sort of pariah. “Just don’t. I’m… Fuck, please just don’t.”

The sigh leaves my body heavily, but it doesn’t take any of the weight with it. “Fine. You don’t need anyone, least of all me. You’ve made that abundantly clear. But I’m not like you. I do need people. And right now… right now, I need to speak to my best friend. Especially if we’re leaving the country for God knows how long. So I know it’s against your rules, but I would like to speak to Emma before we leave. Just one short call, just to say goodbye, and then I will go quietly and willingly to Switzerland or India or Cambodia, wherever the hell you take us to. I just want one call with my best friend first. Please.”

He offers me a stingy glance, and then he nods. “I have a few burner phones left. You can use one.”

I’m a little speechless. I really didn’t expect that he would agree so quickly or so easily.

“But,” he adds, “you will not give her any details. About where we’ve been, where we’re going, or what our new names are. None of it. Do I make myself clear?”

“Abundantly.”

He nods again and turns his back on me. I stand there for a couple of minutes, waiting for him to turn back around. But he doesn’t. So I go back to the cabin and wait.

Somehow, despite the roaring fire in the hearth… it’s colder in here than it was out there.

26

KINSLEY

“Did ya miss me?” I ask.

I have to hold the phone away from my ear for a second while Emma screams at the top of her lungs. By the time I put it back up, she’s still breathlessly whispering, “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.”

I laugh. “Breathe, Em. Before you have a stroke.”

“Is it really you?”

“Depends on who you think this is.”

Emma squeals again and I lean forward, paranoid that the signal’s going to crap out on me and the line will go dead. “I’m on a burner phone, freezing my ass off on top of the one hill in this entire mountain range that has reception. So if I cut out—”

“I’ll know why. Got it. Tell me everything! How’s Isla? Where are you guys? Is your black knight still devastatingly broody, or have you broken through to his heart of gold yet?”

“Safe to say you’ve been missing us, huh?”

“Oh, hon, like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I miss you too,” I say, feeling mushy all the sudden. “So, so much.”

“Aw, Kinz,” Emma says gently. “Are you okay?”

“It’s been an… interesting couple of days.”

“Good interesting or bad interesting?”

“A little bit of both, I think. I can’t say too much. But Isla’s good. She thinks we’re on a big adventure. I’m hesitant to tell her that most adventures don’t include mountainside mansions, but to be honest, even that wouldn’t knock her shine. She’s a trooper. I even think… Well.”

“Go on,” she urges when I fall silent.

I bite my lip. “I even think she’s coming out of her shell a little bit. And I think Daniil is helping with that.”

“They get along, huh?”

“You have no idea. Sometimes, it actually makes me a little jealous. Is it horrible for me to admit that?”

“Of course not. This is a judgment-free zone. But Kinz, you sound…” She hems and haws for a second, and then finishes with, “shaky. You sound shaky.”

I let out a rattling sigh. It’s cold here. My skin is prickly with goosebumps. “It’s just been difficult. Being away from home. Not being able to go to work, or see you, any of that. I’ve missed you so much.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other line. “Kinz, honey, is there something you want to tell me?”

I bite my lip. “Well…”

“This is about Daniil, isn’t it? You’re in love with him, aren’t you?””

I take a deep breath, and look down at the house-in-the-cliff way down below me. I can see Isla lounging by the birdbath, sketching idly. Daniil is sitting a few yards away from her, brooding up a storm. Every now and then, I see their mouths move, but I’m too far to catch anything they’re saying.

“I can’t be,” I whisper back. “There’s no future there.”

“But you wish there was.”

“Of course I do,” I say fiercely. “And sometimes, I even convince myself that he wishes that, too. He can be sweet and thoughtful and open. And then… I don’t know. Two steps forward, a million steps back.”

“What if he’s scared?”

I bark out a laugh. “I don’t have the faintest idea what that would even look like. Daniil’s not scared of anything.”

“That’s exactly what he wants you to think, boo,” Emma insists. “You might not be able to imagine the things he’s done. What if it’s really, really bad? Would it really not matter to you if you found out that he… I don’t know… ate babies or something?”

I roll my eyes. “I think I can confidently rule that out.”

“You get my point. I’m just saying that maybe there’s a reason he’s keeping certain things from you. Maybe, deep down, he doesn’t want to run the risk of losing you, either.”

It does make sense when she puts it like that. Which is exactly why I wanted to talk to Emma in the first place. She’s a good egg. She knows me and loves me. I needed that in my life.

“So,” she says when I don’t reply for a while, “how was the sex?”

“Em!”

“Aw, come on, don’t be such a prude. Life’s been a little boring since you and Isla left. I’ve been gorging myself on gummy worms whenever I miss you guys, which means I’m going through a bag a day now. The least you could do to make up for the fact that you’re responsible for my fat ass is give me some salacious details.”