Chapter 6 - JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

I stop looking at the building and continue walking even though I have the urge to go back to Kaiden and hope that this was all just a misunderstanding, but I'm not going to do that. Everything was less painful when I thought he had no idea of my feelings and I just had to keep trying to propose, even if it was a futile action, but my feet don't want to stop. I just want to get to my room and disappear from the whole world, but now is when I'm a long way from that.

I ignore the car parked on the side of the building, even knowing that Kira is inside waiting for me. I don't want to see her now, I don't want to have to tell her everything that just happened, repeating every word is heartbreaking. I just want to be alone. However, Kira seems to notice me, and I just decide to ignore her.

"Yini! Yini, where are you going? Did you forget where the car is parked, or did you forget again that you had come with me?" Kira trots in my direction from across the street, but I don't stop. I keep walking as I cross my arms across my chest trying to give myself some warmth from the cold that is starting to set in from the nightfall, or maybe just because it's what I need right now to protect myself.

"Yini?" Kira grabs my arm preventing me from walking any further. I turn to look at her and notice how her face changes as she sees mine. My tears haven't wanted to stop despite wanting to hold back and the cold breeze makes me feel my face starting to go numb.

"Just leave me alone." I release my arm from her grip. Kira looks surprised and immediately her face takes on a hurt expression. I don't want to treat her like this, but it's inevitable that she reminds me of Kaiden, so an uneasy feeling settles stronger in my chest. Her eyes look a little similar and I can't help but compare them. I keep moving away, trying to stay as far away from her as possible.

I used to think they looked nothing alike, and every time I saw them together I proved this theory more and more. But at this moment I can't help noticing that their eyes have the same shade of blue, that the profiles of their faces are very similar or that when they talk, their grimaces are similar. I feel my stomach turn.

"Wait, Yini, what happened?" Kira walks behind me, trying to place herself next to me, but every time she catches up to me, she sped up my steps more. "Did my brother try to do something to you? Did he try to overstep you? Are you feeling bad? Are you hurt somewhere?" asks me Kira with a worried tone in her voice, at the same time trying to look me straight in the eyes. She checks me for any visible wounds on my body, her hands coming to my arms and shoulders, gently touching me as if looking for any sign of damage. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and her gaze is intense, as if she is determined to find out what has happened to me.

I move a little farther away, trying to avoid her scrutiny, but Kira doesn't give up. "Please tell me what happened," she insists, with a mixture of urgency and concern in her voice. She pauses for a moment, watching my expression, trying to understand what I'm feeling.

I don't want to listen to her, I don't want to look at her, I don't want to be near her, or her brother. They are so alike. Suddenly, a thought sneaks into my mind. "Just wait a minute... can you stop walking for just a second?" says Kira as she grabs my arm again, but this time harder, making me stop in my tracks.

Her grip is strong, but not strong enough to hurt me, though strong enough that I can't let go even if I want to.

What if she's playing with me too? If she was only helping me to have fun behind my back? Is that why she always insisted that I propose no matter what? Why was she always supporting me to do it? Is it funny to see me fail over and over again because of my panic attacks?

My gaze turns sharp. "You knew?" The question comes out of my mouth so fast I thought I just thought it. My tears have stopped, but a burning begins to rise inside me. I feel like I want to tear it all apart.

"What are you talking about?" asks Kira as if she seriously doesn't know. The way she looks at me so confused, her eyes scanning mine looking for something else to make her realize what's going on.

"I'm talking about how your dear brother has always known about my feelings, and he's just been playing me like a desperate fool all this time," I say with a dry tone that surprises me. I know that referring to Kaiden as Kira's 'dear brother' is rubbing salt and lemon into a very bruised wound, and more so knowing how the two of them don't treat each other very well. But right now logic doesn't enter my body and all I can think about is how bad I'm feeling.

And how bad I want them both to feel.

"Desperate? Listen, I don't understand what you mean, but if my brother did something to hurt you, I assure you I won't let him get away with it, okay?" Kira frowns determinedly, her hands clenched into fists on either side of her body. "It'll be okay, I'll talk to him." Her voice sounds firm, but also with a tinge of concern.

As he speaks, he takes a step closer to me, as if to make sure I understand his commitment. His blue eyes, so much like his brother's, search mine for some sign of what I might need.

My mind repeats over and over that they have both deceived me, that they have played me in the worst possible way, but Kira's voice makes me doubt. It's the same voice she always comforts me with every time I fail, a voice that says she will never leave me alone and that it's me and her against the world.

Our friendship is years old, but is it possible that nothing was real and that our whole story is based on pure lies and deceit?

I feel my tears threatening to start coming again. I'm so confused. "Just... let me go, I need to think," my voice sounds pitiful, like I'm going to break down at any second. But still, in the face of my pleas, Kira doesn't let me go. Instead, her grip puts more pressure on my arm, making it painful. "Kira?" But Kira doesn't answer; she just pulls me a little closer to her, while her nose twitches in a weird way, as if she's sniffing something strange in the air. Her brow furrows. "Hey, you're hurting me." I try to move my arm a little, but I can't manage to move it an inch.

"Don't move." Kira's voice changes drastically to a much colder and intimidating tone, her gaze seems gone, a little distant. what's going on?