You're a damned Cassy, a damned brat

“You can count on us Cassy, always,” says Eleanor and my heart warms.

“That's right, however you're feeling. Call us, tell us everything that's been bothering you the most. We're your friends, whether it's to fight with, advise, give you affection and a few tugs on the ear... You can always count on us.” Sophie said, making me start crying. They have no idea how much that simple gesture moves me, and makes me feel stronger, it was good to have friends like them, it was perfect.

When we'd finished talking, we opted to have a coffee before going downstairs and when we'd finished, we went down the same road again and talked about other subjects. When we arrived in the waiting room, Hadija was already seated, with Ash and Liam by her side. But what caught my eye, and it shouldn't have, was the fact that Mandy was there, turning around with her hand on her head and her eyes smudged with mascara. Now, I was surprised to see Kiley by her side, trying to calm her down. What did I really miss? As far as I can remember, my cousin's girlfriend hated Mandy and was always talking badly about her. I ignored that and walked over to Hadija, who smiled as soon as she saw me. I bent down in front of her and took her hands.

“How are you?” I ask and she squeezes my hands.

“I'll be fine, my girl, I'll have my son with me soon,” she says and I notice her eyes filling with tears.

“I'm sure of it, Zac is too strong and stubborn to give up.” I say and she strokes my cheek.

“How I wish he could see what a valuable woman you are, Cassy. How much I'm rooting for you and wishing it would all go away.” My heart squeezed when I heard her words. Hadija was an excellent mother, and I can't deny that. I loved her too much and my son would have had the best grandmother in the world.

“Don't worry about any of that now, first you need to get back to one hundred percent and then focus on Zac's recovery. The rest will fall into place later.” I try to comfort her.

“You're a sweet girl,” she says softly, making me laugh.

“Why are you laughing, you bastard?” I hear Mandy's voice for the first time since I arrived, I take a deep breath and stand up.

“What is it this time Amanda?” I say impatiently.

“You don't respect a moment like this, girl!” she shouts hysterically "Zac is there dying and you're giggling." she says and the next moment my ex-mother-in-law gets up and walks over to her.

“How dare you say something like that?” says Hadija “My son isn't dying you crazy woman, he's having surgery and he needs all the positive energy coming from here, and at the moment yours isn't doing him or any of us any good.” she says and Mandy rolls her eyes.

“You don't know anything, you old bastard, this is all your fault. If it wasn't for you, Zac would be fine and he'd be with me by now.” I laugh for real this time, and she shoots me a look.

“I think your mind has been imagining these things lately, hasn't it?” I ask, ‘Because ever since what happened earlier, Zac hasn't stopped looking for me for a minute.’ I say quietly, just so she can hear and see how annoyed I am.

“You're a damned Cassy, a damned brat,” she says and looks at me with malice, at that moment I feel my body shiver and not in a good way "Do you really think Zac would stay with you, knowing that apart from being dull and unsavory, you're nothing more than a little tramp who was raped by the neighbor?" my eyes widen slightly and I feel my heart beating fast ”What? Did I take it too hard? Don't cry baby, because it was all your fault that your neighbor fucked you, it was your fault that you allowed him to take you to that place. But confess it, you liked it, didn't you? I know girls like you who pretend to be innocent and have been sluts since they were young. You got what you deserved, and Zac would never stay with you for much longer, he told me it was only a matter of time before he could let you go and come back to me, because I was the one he always loved.” my chest ached as I listened to every word that came out of her mouth, shame hitting me hard for the moment, everyone there knowing something so intimate about me. How had she known? How had she known? Had Zac done it and told her everything? I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I didn't wipe it away, I had no reaction and she knew it when she opened her stupid evil smile.

“Mandy...” Eleanor approaches the girl, but she ignores her and still looks at me.

“Do you want to know how I know?” asks the blue-eyed blonde ”Kiley's been helping me all this time, and let's just say she got in touch with an old friend of yours back home. Beca, isn't it?” she laughs ”She told me your whole story, about how you're self-suicidal, about how your boyfriend Luca stayed with you out of pity, and also about the fact that you're a failure in every way.” At that moment my face was bathed in tears and I didn't know how to react, because it had been a long time since I arrived here in London that nothing like this had happened to me, I swore that I had left this baggage in Brazil, I swore that no one else with Beca's malice would get to me, and apparently I was wrong once again.

Because there I was, letting yet another person destroy me completely.