That's not love, Zac, it never has been

**Cassy point of view**

It had been a long time since Harry had dropped me off at home, and he had sent a message to Zac, telling him that I was coming over to his house because we needed to talk, and that I had something new to tell him. My boyfriend replied, saying he was looking forward to seeing me, making me smile sideways. I sent him an emoji, threw my cell phone and the ultrasound on my bed and ran to the bathroom. I took a long hot shower, washing my hair, which was too greasy, and when I finished I walked to my closet and grabbed a comfortable outfit so I could meet Zac.

Before I left, I heated up the food that Aunt Alicia had left ready and ate all of it, because it was divine. I washed the dirty dishes and called an uber to take me to Zac's house. My boyfriend lived about 45 minutes away from me. But as I was nervous about what I needed to tell him, I didn't mind when the second driver canceled the trip - it was the perfect time for me to come up with ideas about how I was going to tell Zac that he was going to be a father. Ten minutes later, a driver finally accepted my ride, and in less than three minutes he arrived at my door, I thanked him and he went on his way. I sent a message to Zac, but this time he didn't get back to me. I took a deep breath and focused my gaze on the landscape passing by through the glass of the car window, it was as if at that moment I was seeing my life pass before my eyes, and everything that had changed since I moved to London, the gigantic turn my world had taken.

Just as I was about to doze off, the driver called out that we had arrived, I smiled in thanks and paid for the ride. I put my backpack on my back and headed for the yellow house in front of me. I knocked on the door of Zac's house, and a few minutes later Hadija opened the door, and when she saw me she gave me a big smile.

“Cassy,” she hugs me, "How are you, darling, how are you?" she says as I hug her back, then pulls away.

“Everything's fine, what about you? Zac said he had to take you to hospital last week,” I say and she rolls her eyes.

“It was no big deal, just a drop in pressure. My son is an overachiever,” she says, smiling.

“Speaking of him, is he asleep?” I ask and my mother-in-law gives him a little slap on the forehead.

“What a head of mine! Come on in, you're home,” she says, giving me room to enter and I laugh.

“Don't worry, my head's far away and I didn't even notice,” I say as soon as I hear her close the door behind me.

“About Zac, I'm not sure if he's asleep or if he's gone out,” she says "I just got here too, but I heard some noises coming from the second floor, I just didn't have time to check, I just got here." she says.

“Is it all right if I go upstairs? I was supposed to meet him, but I ended up being a bit late,” I say and she smiles.

“You don't even have to ask, you're from home, my pretty.” says my mother-in-law and my heart warms, my son would make a great grandfather.

“Thanks Hadija, I'll go up then,” I say to her.

“All right,” she says.

I climbed the steps quickly, it was now or never, I needed to tell Zac and find out what he would think of it all, if he would support me, if he would stay by my side... I just needed to know that everything would be all right in the end. Zac's room was at the end of the corridor, and the door was ajar. I started to hear some noises, and it sounded like Zac was talking to someone in whispers. I frowned strangely, as he hadn't said he'd have someone here with him when I arrived. I shrugged and carried on walking. I stopped in front of his door and put my hand on the handle, and that's when I understood what the whispers were about.

Mandy was on top of Zac, naked.

She moved on top of my boyfriend, and he moaned intensely. Suddenly he stopped her and reversed their positions, Zac had put her on all fours on his bed, and was thrusting into Mandy hard, he had never had sex with me like that. We'd done lots of things, but never with that intensity. And when the first tear ran down my cheek, Zac came, when my chest filled with pain and I covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream, he made Mandy come, she was wetting the bed, I could see her gushing from how hard that sex with Zac had been, the blonde was practically convulsing with pleasure on top of the bed, where he'd said he loved her several times. My vision blurred from the amount of tears, and it was when they were both lying quietly on the bed that my first sob came.

The first to notice me was him, Zac's face changed in an instant, he didn't even know what to say to me. And when the blonde next to him noticed me, she smiled as if she had won the lottery. And indeed, she had won what she had wanted so much since she had returned.

“Why? Why Zac?” I said softly, feeling my tears coming down harder.

“Cassy?” he tried to say something "What are you doing here?" he said and I laughed nervously.

“Really?” I ask and he quickly closes his eyes.

“Damn, I forgot you were coming,” he says and gets up to look for his clothes.

“How can you be that stupid?” I say, "Oh, my God, Zac!" I feel nausea coming over me, and I ask it to go away soon.

“Listen to me, please...” he said and, already dressed, approached me.

“Believe you? Why would I do that?” I ask and I feel like complete crap at that moment, several thoughts pop into my head, and has this been going on for a long time? Has Zac been cheating on me with Mandy since the beginning?

“I love you Cassy, that's all that matters.” I grabbed the sandal off my foot and threw it in his direction.

“Fuck you Zac!” I shouted "Where's love?" I pointed towards the bed where Mandy was still lying, but now with her head resting on her hand. Her smile was killing me.

“It didn't mean anything, it was just a fuck,” he says and the blonde quickly sits down on the bed with a hurt look on his face "You're the one I love, please, just listen to me." he repeats, but I pick up my other pair of sandals and throw them back in his direction, causing them to hit his leg.

“Do you really love me?” I say and he shakes his head "That's not love Zac, it never was." I say and my eyes fill up again.

“I'm sorry, please understand me. Put yourself in my shoes and you'll understand,” for a moment I thought of Harry and what had happened between the two of us, but that was nothing compared to what I saw here, the way things had happened in that room had been significant for them, especially for Mandy "We need to talk." he says and I deny it, picking up my backpack that had fallen on the floor, and putting it on my shoulder again.

“Being sorry won't do any good,” I take a deep breath and bite my lip "And from now on, we have nothing more to talk about." I turn my back to him, but I feel his hands pull hard on my arm.

“Damn it Cassy, stop being childish and fucking listen to me!” he says, the anger in me was so great that I drew an absurd strength from my innermost being, letting go of him and slapping him hard across the face.

“I'M DISGUSTED WITH YOU,” I shouted without worrying about the scandal “I HATE YOU ZAC...” I felt my throat close up “I fell in love with you, you made me enjoy having you by my side, and in the end look what you do to me!” I say quietly, just for him to hear “I had something important to tell you, and you just do this to me, how do I think I feel, knowing that the woman who marked your life, who destroyed it, who fucked with your mind, who abandoned you years ago comes back and now finds herself in your bed, when you were already in a relationship with me?” I say sincerely to him, and I see him swallow dry.

“Love please...” he tried once more to explain himself, but he couldn't, Zac knew he still had feelings for Mandy, his eyes were watery, but nothing that came out of his lips would convince me, Zac and Cassy were no more, that was the end of us.

“Don't. Call. Call. Love.” I said quietly.

“Zac, I don't think sweet Cassy wants you anymore. So come here, I want you.” Mandy appeared in the doorway, wrapped in the sheet, with a smile on her face.

“Have a good time Amanda, I just hope you don't relapse with your nymphomania and run away again.” I say and she glares at me, I arch my eyebrows and just as she's about to open her mouth, my mother-in-law, ex-mother-in-law appears.

“What's going on here?” she asks confused, looking at the three of us in the corridor.

“Ask your son and daughter-in-law who have returned from the ashes,” I say and she frowns "Forgive me for anything Hadija, I need to get out of here," I say and she shakes her head as if she's beginning to understand what's happened there "Zac, this time it's serious, it's really over. Then you can forget about me and get me out of your fucking life.” I said and hurried out of the house, at that moment I needed air, I needed to breathe and try to think about what I was going to do from then on, because now I was no longer alone, my body was home to a small being that needed me, being as strong as possible.