08 | somewhere only we know

Chapter Eight. Somewhere only we know.

Play: Matilda by Harry Styles.

“Why do everything with life die, Galen?”

Vhallerine looked at him with so much confusion. Her eyes are sad as she watched the boy bury her cat, Lisa. Simula noong 3 year old pa lang si Vhallerine ay kasama na niya si Lisa. 14 years old na si Vhal, 17 years na si Lisa nang mamaalam ito sa kanila.

Ang pusang iyon ang nagsilbing anak-anakan nila noon sa bahay-bahayan nila.

Galen glanced at him when he finally finished. “That’s already the answer. We have lives. It’s all temporary. Ang buhay natin, hiram lang.”

“Then how would I know if I have to return my life?” Vhallerine sadly asked and sat beside Lisa’s place. “I think I will miss Lisa so much… We just lost our daughter.” Hinawakan niya pa iyon.

“Let’s find one then.” Galen said.

“Or make one?” She playfully looked at him, her sad face disappeared.

Ngumiwi si Galen doon. “What the hell,”

“I’m just kidding.” Vhallerine’s chuckled and stood up. “But one day when we’re all fully grown ups, would you make kids with me?”

“Ano bang klaseng tanong ‘yan, Vhallerine?” Namula ang tenga ng binata. Ayaw niya talagang isipin iyon dahil masyado pa silang bata. “May klase ka pa bukas ah? Mag-a-alas siete na. Iuuwi na kita.”

“Hindi nga, Galen?” Pangungulit nito.

Galen bit his lips and frustratedly looked at her. “Vhal, bawal pa sa atin ang mga ganyan. Hindi pa nga ako tanggap ng mommy mo, tapos mag-aanak agad tayo? Hindi pa tayo tapos ng pag-aaral, hindi ka pa doktor at hindi pa ako sundalo. Hindi pa tayo kasal tapos---”

“Eh pag nagawa na natin ‘yan?” The girl’s smile grew wider. Her dimples showed up. “Pagkatapos nating ikasal, mag-aral at mapa-approve kay mommy. Aanakan mo ako?”

Galen heavily sighed and just started walking. He doesn’t want to answer that question. Lalo na’t malapit na siyang mag-18 at si Vhallerine naman ay mag-16 pa lang! Wala pa nga siyang napapatunayan dito, ‘yun na ang topic? Baka kung saan sila mapunta, eh ang babata pa nila!

Humawak sa kanyang braso si Vhallerine. She looked up at him, making him look at her beautiful eyes. “Galen, ibig sabihin ba nito ayaw mong magkaanak sa ‘tin pagkatapos nating ikasal---”

“Vhal---”

“Hindi nga?” Pangungulit pa nito.

Bumuntong hininga ulit si Galen at tumango. “Oo na, sige na. Pero huwag na nating pag-usapan ngayon. Tsaka na, pagkasal na tayo.”

“Edi magpakasal na tayo ngayon.”

Galen gave her his ‘are you serious?’ expression. He couldn’t believe his girlfriend.

“Minor pa lang tayo---”

“Oo. Alam ko na. Ang serious mo naman po.” Vhal chuckled. “But for real, mami-miss ko si Lisa. She’s really my comfort. Nakakalungkot na nawala na siya. Maybe we should get another cat. A girl and a boy, what do you think? So they can act as our twins.”

“Sounds good.” He smiled.

“Let’s save up.” She hooked her arm on his.

“Save up? We can take those homeless cats on the streets.”

“They’re dangerous.”

“Hindi, ah. Meron akong aso noong bata ako, namatay nga lang agad.”

“Bata ka? Wala akong maalala na nagkaroon ka ng cat.”

“Meron nga, si Gerald iyong pusa namin na pinamigay. Si Boots naman iyong aso namin na namatay.”

“Bakit namatay si Boots?”

“Nasagasaan habang tumatae.” Seryosong sagot ni Galen.

“Huh?” Vhallerine asked, she thought she heard him wrong. When she realized he was serious, she tried to suppress her laugh. “Hala, really ba? Your dog died while tumatae?” Napatakip pa ito ng bibig.

“Bakit?” Seryoso pa rin si Galen. “That dog was precious to me!”

“But dying because you’re tumatae on the road is a dumb ways to die.”

Galen chuckled. Inakbayan niya si Vhallerine at naglakad sila mula sa pinakamalapit na kakahuyan papunta sa bahay nila. They walked together.

While walking, Galen wondered too. ‘Why do everything with life die?’ he asked himself. He couldn’t answer that. He doesn’t know either.

What he knows is death is inevitable and it’s a person’s choice to continue living. And if he would choose to continue living now, he will never be familiar of feeling alive again. Because his life, his soul, the holder of the other end of his string is gone. And it will never be the same as before again.

He's emotionlessly looking down on the surface where she was buried. Only David and his wife, Galen’s mother and him are only the people on his wife’s burial. Vhallerine is buried under an Acasia tree, exactly next where they buried Lisa years ago. This is also the place where they used to play ‘bahay-bahayan’ together.

And act like they’re married and Lisa is their daughter.

“My condolences, Atty. Zaldien.” David’s wife gave him a small smile.

“Thank you, Lynelle,”

Everyone disappeared when it started raining. He thought his mother would beg for him to go home but she didn’t. She knows how much Galen is hurt for watching his own wife die in front of him and couldn’t do anything about it.

It started raining. He didn’t notice it was already dark. Gabi na pala? Hindi niya napansin. Nakatayo lang siya roon at nakatulala sa baba. He was wondering if his mom already went or not. If she already does, he can’t figure out if he cares or not.

Because even with the people around, he felt alone. Like something was lost. Worse than what it felt before he met Vhallerine again after years. Even his heart are telling him that she’s already gone but he just couldn’t accept that fact. He hates that.

♪ You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, ‘cause they never showed you love

You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up ♪

He finally sat there after hours. It was still raining, he was soaking wet. When countless drops of water touched his face, he finally got the courage to cry again in front of his wife.

“I… I hope you finally find your peace…” He cried.

Humigas siya sa tabi ni Vhallerine.

♪ Matilda, you talk of the pain like it’s all alright

But I know that you feel like a piece of you’s dead inside

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days ♪

“I can’t find the stars anymore…” He looked up, rain drops of clouds covered the tears in his eyes. “I can’t see anything, everything is blurry, Vhallerine… I feel that everywhere I go… It’s very dark. Everything’s been dark after you left me.”

♪ You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, ‘cause they never showed you love

You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You can see the world, following the seasons

Anywhere you go, you don’t need a reason

‘Cause they never showed you love

You don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own ♪

“Galen,” he heard Vhallerine’s voice. His eyes widened.

“Vhallerine?” He asked. Napaupo siya sa gulat.

He looked at the girl with white dress. Her hair is on a waterfall braid, the ends are wavy. Basang-basa sa ulan si Vhallerine pero mas lalo lang siyang gumanda sa mga mata ni Galen.

“Galen, I told you to take care of yourself, right?” She sat beside him. They’re now sitting under the acasia tree.

Galen cried and hugged her. “Please don’t go…”

Vhallerine smiled and hugged her back. Hinaplos niya ang buhok ni Galen tsaka ito hinalikan. “I’m always here… In your heart, your memories, your dreams, in your soul…” She says.

“I-I want to see you…”

“We should wait a little longer, love…” Her sweet voice echoed.

He hugged her more tightly. “I cannot wait any longer. I can’t do this. I want to stay with you…”

She cupped his face and looked directly in his tearing eyes. “Do you know now why do everything with life die?”

Umiling si Galen.

“We go to a place we cannot explain in words… More than enchanting. It was a place somewhere that only we know. It’s beautiful there with no judgements, no parents who will hurt you. No regrets. It was very peaceful…”

“Are you happy?”

“I will only be happy if you try to be happy for yourself, don’t be miserable,” she says and kissed his forehead. “As your wife, I will guide you to move forward because you have to. Choose to live. You got the chance I never had. So you should pick the right path.”

“Right path? You’re my destination, Vhal… I’m on the right path. I’m already there. I just felt lost. Because the reason why I came on that destination is now gone. My life isn’t going to function again without you, please …”

“You have to let go.” Happy tears in her eyes fell. “I would love to see you trying to be happy again despite everything. Even if it takes to forget me, you should do everything to make yourself happy. Distract yourself while you’re waiting. Then one day… We’ll see each other again. We’ll live a happy life together.” She kissed his lips.

And when he was about to respond, she disappeared.

Sinubukan niyang hanapin si Vhallerine. Kahit alam niyang panaginip lang, umasa siya na makikita niya ang pinakamamahal niyang asawa. He was hoping to hug her again for comfort. But she was gone. Completely. It felt like even her ashes was released on a seashore where no one can find the pieces.

His heart was shattered while crying In the rain, while looking at the ring in his hand.

He wonders where’s the place that somewhere only people like Vhallerine knows …