Chapter 19 Need You
INDIE
The words had barely left my lips when Zade shuffled backwards, opened the door and stormed off. I sat there, frozen. Something was wrong. I could feel it. An overwhelming urge to go after him gripped me. But one glance at Lila told me I couldn't. I just couldn't leave her all by herself.
Surely, Zade would return. He always did. No matter what. So, I waited.
As the minutes crept by, I kept glancing at the door, waiting for the inevitable moment when he would open it and step in. My throat burned as emotions clogged my throat.
I hoped he was alright.
The moment the door opened, relief washed over me. But then it died just as quickly. Because standing right there was Elder Mara.
She didn't look very happy. No, scratch that, she had the passive aggression thing going on with her. Her features stayed blank, but I could tell that she was more than just irritated.
"You disrespected everyone in this temple today, flamekeeper," she said, and I gripped the blanket tucked around Lila.
Why was she acting like she couldn't see my daughter? What mother would abandon her own sick child?
"My daughter—" I started, and she cut me off.
"Is not an excuse. You were supposed to finish the trial first. How do you think the rest of the candidates feel? Seeing as you didn't give them a chance."
I gulped.
"They could've been burnt just like the others. If anything, they should be thankful," I said weakly.
She blinked.
"He's already corrupting you," she said, and I froze.
Was she talking about Zade? What the heck was wrong with these people? Zade was not a sickness. Why do they keep insinuating that he was impure?
I parted my lips to counter her, but then she spoke.
"You certainly don't think you're going to end up with him, do you? If he loses, you'll have no choice but to move on," she said, and my blood iced in my veins.
What was she planning?
"Look, this place is not good for my daughter. The smell of incense, the cold and everything else...it's uncomfortable for her. She needs proper—"
"You want to leave," she pointed out, and I nodded.
For a moment, she simply stared at me. Then she pursed her lips.
"Finish the next trial. After that, you can leave," she said, and my eyes widened. Just like that?
I watched her as she turned and walked away, my heart thumping faster. I couldn't figure her out. What was up with her sudden generosity?
I waited for Zade, hoping I could talk to him about what Elder Mara had said. But he still didn't show up.
The candles burned lower. The incense thickened. My eyelids grew heavy despite the fear gnawing at my ribs.
I curled on my side next to Lila, one arm draped protectively over her small body, and told myself I'd only rest my eyes for a moment.
I must have dozed.
When I awoke, pale grey light was seeping through the arched window. Early morning.
And Zade was there.
He sat on the floor beside the bed, his back against the stone wall, knees drawn up, his forearms resting on them.
His head was tilted back, his eyes half-lidded, watching me. Shadows bruised the skin beneath his eyes. Sweat glistened along his temples and the hollow of his throat. He looked... wrecked.
My heart sank.
"Zade?"
He didn't answer right away. He just watched me with that endless violet gaze, as though he'd been sitting there for hours.
I pushed up on one elbow, careful not to wake Lila, and reached for him. My fingers brushed his forehead.
He leaned into my touch immediately, his eyes fluttering closed for a second.
He was burning up. Worse than Lila. The skin under my palm felt scorched from the inside out.
I gasped. "You're on fire."
His lips curved with a faint, tired twitch. "Always have been, Bunny."
But the humour didn't reach his eyes.
Whatever had happened to him last night had left him fevered, shaking, barely holding himself together.
And still, he'd come back, keeping vigil by our bed all night. I slid off the mattress, my knees hitting the cold stone beside him. I cupped his face with both hands, my thumbs brushing the dark circles under his eyes.
"Zade... what happened?"
He exhaled through his nose, slowly, searching my eyes with glazed-over eyes. In that moment, I recalled the dreadful vision I'd seen. The one where I killed him. I flinched, and he blinked.
"You flinched," he pointed out. "Why?"
I lowered my gaze, uneasy. "No, bunny. Eyes on me," he said.
When my gaze met his again, I caved.
"I saw a vision where I killed you," I said, and he hummed. He didn't look the slightest bit surprised. He was always unpredictable. Still, this wasn't right.
Dread sank deep into me.
"You...you're not surprised. Did you already know?" I croaked.
"Yes," he rasped, and I gasped, attempting to pull away from him. He reacted quickly, holding me in place.
"Bunny, relax. I didn't think there was an alternative before. Now there is one. Just because you saw the vision doesn't mean it's going to happen," he told me, and I searched his eyes for signs of deception. There was none.
"Mara came to see you," he said.
It wasn't a question. He'd probably scented her on the air, heard.
I nodded. "She said if we finish the next trial, I can leave with Lila."
He let out a soft, humourless laugh.
"She's lying."
"I know. Or at least... half-lying. " I bit my lip. "But if it means getting Lila out of here before whatever ritual they're planning—"
"We finish the trial," he finished for me. "Then we run."
"The second trial will happen soon. Zade, you're not well. You need to rest—"
He dropped his head to my shoulder, inhaling shakily.
"There is one way to trigger my healing," he said, and I perked up.
"Really? What is it?"
His breath ghosted hot against my neck, sending a shiver racing down my spine.
"Bonding," he murmured, his voice low and wrecked. "The mate bond flares strongest when we're... connected. It'll burn the fever out. Pull me back from the edge."
I froze.
"You mean..."
"Yeah, Bunny." His lips brushed the shell of my ear, sending another traitorous spark straight to my core. "I need to fuck you. Hard. Deep. Right now."
Heat flooded my face. I pulled back just enough to search his eyes. They were glassy with fever, but the hunger there was unmistakable.
"Zade... Lila's right there. She could wake up any second."
He glanced towards the bed where my daughter slept. Then back to me.
"There's a bathing chamber." He jerked his chin toward the small arched doorway at the far end of the room. "She won't hear a thing."
My mouth went dry.
I shouldn't. I should stay right here, keep watch over Lila, and wait for the fever to break on its own.
But he was shaking. Sweat beaded along his hairline, his breathing shallow.
"Okay," I whispered.
His eyes darkened instantly.
He stood and offered me his hand. I took it. His palm scorched mine.
We entered the bathing chamber, and he locked the door.
Then he turned.
And the air between us ignited.
He didn't speak. He just backed me against the cool stone wall, his hands framing my face.
Then he kissed me like he was starving, his tongue dominating mine. I moaned into it, my hands fisting in his tee, pulling him closer until there was no space left. I grew wet in seconds.
"Need you," he rasped against my lips. "Now."
My fingers were already yanking at his shirt. He helped, ripping it over his head impatiently. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. The sight of him amazes me every damn time.
I reached for the sash of my robe. He beat me to it, tugging the orange silk free until the fabric pooled at my feet.
His gaze devoured me possessively.
"Mine," he growled.
Then he lifted me. My legs wrapped around his waist on instinct. He carried me the few steps to the edge of the tub, set me down on the wide stone, and stepped between my thighs.
He shoved his pants down just enough, fisted himself twice, then lined up and thrust.
I cried out, the stretch burning in the best way. My nails dug into his shoulders.
"Zade—oh gods—"
"Quiet, Bunny," he panted against my throat, his teeth grazing my pulse. "Don't wake her."
I bit my lip so hard I tasted copper, trying to muffle the moans tearing out of me. He felt enormous, thicker and hotter than I remembered. As if the fever had made him swell even more inside me.
Every thrust pounded the air from my lungs.
I clung to him, my thighs locked around his hips, my heels digging into his ass.
"Need you to come," he growled. "Need to feel you clench around me. Pull me over the edge."
"I'm—close—Zade—"
He angled his hips just right, hitting that place over and over, and I shattered.
The orgasm ripped through me like wildfire, white-hot and blinding. I buried my face in his neck to muffle the cry, tears slipping down my cheeks from the intensity.
He followed seconds later, thrusting deep one last time and reaching his release with a choked, guttural groan.
We stayed locked together, panting and trembling.
"Better?" I whispered.
He smiled. "Getting there."
I kissed him gently. Then I froze when I heard the drums again.
The trials were starting again.
Mara's words from before replayed in my mind, and I tensed. Just what did the second trial entail?