78. Changing
78. Changing
Torin’s pov
I felt such fear as I watched my mate scream out in pain. The only time I’ve been this scared is when I found her with Dylan in the woods.
I had already been terrified when she passed out, but then to suddenly be in this much pain… it’s not right. Something was wrong, and I had no clue how to help Raelyn.
I was ready to reach out to the pack doctor through our mindlink, only to pause when I realized I had seen all of this before.
The breaking bones, her skin changing.
In fact, I had seen this many times before, not just once.
Goddess, did I feel relieved when I realized my mate was in pain because she was shifting for the very first time.
“You’re okay, dimples.”
She looked at me like I was nuts.
“You’re shifting. You’re a werewolf.” I told her. “I can help you.”
“How?” she whimpered.
“I know this is going to sound crazy,” I said as I took a step back. “I know you want me to touch you, but you need space, and you need to relax.”
Her eyes told me enough. Relax… When you’re in that much pain, how can you possibly relax?
I crouched down, “accept that this is happening. Pain is temporary; you know that better than anyone. But this time, the pain is for something good.”
She tightened her body as another bone broke, her face now looking more wolf than human. Her skin had turned into fur in some places already.
“I know, Rae, I know you have always had to fight. And I know how you learned to protect yourself from it all. But when it comes to shifting, you need to feel it. You need to accept the pain for what it is. Accept that your body is changing, breaking, turning into something else.”
She whimpered again, and I tried another way to approach this.
“Look at your body.”
“No-oh-ooooh,” she could barely speak.
“Just look. For me, dimples.”
The more you fought the change, the longer it would take. But we were born knowing this would happen. Raelyn had to come to terms with being a werewolf and shifting into a wolf in one night, while we had eighteen years to prepare our bodies and our minds to do so.
‘Torin,’ Colton mindlinked me. 'We need you back here.'
‘I can't.’ I hadn’t told Raelyn this, because I didn’t want to scare her, but fighting your shift for too long can cause harm to your body. In the worst case, death. If you accept it, your wolf and you will work together as one. But if not, your wolf will try to take over by any means necessary to force a shift.
They don’t mean to harm you; it’s instinctual. Our wolves don't have a choice in the matter.
‘They are ready to take over the packhouse, Torin.’
‘Who?!’ I growled through the mindlink, but when Raelyn screamed out in pain, my anger disappeared. My mate is all that matters.
‘Louisa has brought the Night Hounds alpha to our gates, and Richard let them in. It’s a coupe, Torin. We need you.’
‘My mate needs me right now.’ I wouldn’t leave her alone. Not on her first shift. Not even for this.
Colton sighed, ‘I will stall for as long as I can.’
‘Tell Enya and my mom to run. I will be back as soon as I can.’
I pushed all my worries about my pack down. There wasn’t anything I could do right now. I would deal with whatever happened, but all that mattered in this moment was making sure Raelyn got through this.
Raelyn’s breathing had calmed down a bit, and I saw her staring at the fur on her arm.
“The worst part is almost over, my mate. I promise.” I told her as I held back from touching her. I didn’t want to hurt her. Even the smallest amount of pressure on your changing body can feel like knives scratching the skin.
“You can do this; I know you can. You’re the strongest person I know.” I encouraged my mate. “Let your wolf in. Let her take over, and this will all be over soon.”
Her breath was shaky as she locked eyes with me.
“I love you,” I tried to keep myself as calmas possible. I didn’t want Raelyn to see worry on my face, only love. “I love you, dimples.”
It was almost over; just a few more bones snapping into place and she’d be fully shifted.
The fur on her snout looked more red than I was used to, and the bottom half was white.
“You’re beautiful, Rae; you’ve got this.”
And then she was done. She lay on the ground as a wolf.
I allowed myself to take a good look at my mate. She wasn’t small. She was actually a lot bigger than I expected but still smaller than my wolf. Most of our wolves are greyish or brown. But her fur… It seemed red.
The only wolves I know that have this type of fur are red wolves. They’re endangered. I’ve never seen anyone shift into a red wolf.
Raelyn tried to stand, and I helped balance her until she was steady on her paws.
“Do you want to try and walk?” I asked.
She moved her head up and down, which made me chuckle. My mate is a werewolf.
I shifted into my wolf and tried to support her in this way. I knew I had to go back soon, but first Raelyn needed to shift back. And I needed to show her how.
We walked for a few minutes until I shifted back. “There is something going on at home. We need to go back.”
She stared at me.
“Shifting back will hurt a lot less, I promise.”
She gave me a look as if she thought I was lying.
I sighed, “I’m sorry, but it’s really important.” I didn’t want to tell her how bad it really was. Not until she had shifted back.
I was ready to explain what Raelyn needed to do, but before I could, she had already begun shifting back. I could see how much it was hurting her, but she was silent throughout, staring straight ahead. When she was done, she collapsed to the ground.
I had never seen someone shift back that fast after the first time.
“I can carry you,” I offered as I sprinted towards her.
She shook her head as she pushed herself up, “I should stay.”
"You're not safe here."
I didn’t want Raelyn to be at risk, and I wasn’t sure what I was walking into, but I’d feel better having her close by.
“I'll go to Ruth’s place.” Raelyn suggested. “And you can call me when it’s safe to come back.”
I wasn't sure why she felt hesitant to come with me, but she had a look of determination on her face that I hadn't seen before.
'I'll tell my mother and Enya to go there as well." I decided. She'd be safe with them.