Chapter 40 Poor Blade, Poor Me, Poor Julian

Chapter 40 Poor Blade, Poor Me, Poor Julian
Laura
I returned to my room, excited by the development. It was more or less a bittersweet one because I couldn't bring myself to smile, despite my surface excitement. I was grateful that I would get divorced, but my heart felt hurt. It was shattered and broken. How could I feel bad when I was getting the freedom I needed? I looked down at my chest and clenched it hard. It felt empty after knowing what would happen to it tomorrow. Julian was going to reject me. I should be happy, I thought. I really should have been, but I couldn't. A man I had dreamed of. The one who was supposed to be the answer to all my prayers; Julian. My mate. Yet, he turned out to be the most bitter pill the back of my throat. But was this really true? Or were we just a mistake of the society? Would he have treated me differently, if he didn't think my father killed his sister? With the thoughts and questions heavy in my head, I dragged myself to the bathroom. I turned on the cold liquid and just stood under it. Sarah's words slowly trickled back. I looked up at the ceiling with water splashing gently into my face. Then I tried to think of it... Sarah's words were hard to forget, I heard her even if I tried to ignore it. —Julian had been trying to come back with me. Was she serious about this? Or was it a joke they both shared? Sarah had mentioned the doughnuts and flowers which I couldn't ignore. This meant some of the flowers had come from Julian himself, and not just Blade. Or were they sending me the same type of flowers? Was I just mixing them up? Blade had also delivered doughnuts to me once. Could Julian really do this for me? A woman who he hated so much? Who was lying and who was saying the truth? Wait— it wasn't. I shook my mind off it temporarily. I had a headache developing from it, it was time to take my medicine. I turned off the tap and wrapped a towel around my body. My medicines waited for me on the table, and I took the pain meds in tandem with the Cisplatin to relieve myself of the pain. This was a bad practice, I know. Chemo drugs like the Cisplatin Increased the risk of infection in the body and pain meds reduce temperature, hiding the symptoms of a developing infection. Blade had talked about this once, but I didn't care. That must have been why I collapsed. The fever was the sign of infections in my body. The problem was, I felt terrible when I woke up in the morning. I had a Bronchodilator inhaler, but that wasn't enough. Taking it one at a time was real torture for me. But my body was hurting now. I needed to make it stop. I needed all the pain in my heart and body to go away. I felt instant relief after ingesting the drug and I sat on the bed. I felt lazy and weak, but I managed to find some strength to change into my pajamas. I remembered that I had to tell Mack about the development, she had to be here tomorrow and I had a wardrobe problem. "Hey Mack!" I spoke as soon as she picked up. "Yo! Wassup? Why are you calling so late? You missed me?" She teased me. "No, ew. Where are you? I can't hear music in the background, you're home?" I rested on the bed. I grabbed a cookie from the table, my comfort food. "Yeah, I decided to sleep early today. So tell me, what's up? Is that bitch Sarah giving you hell?" "No, she isn't. Actually Mack, guess what?" A smile grew on my face. Mack breathed. "What?" "I'm getting my divorce tomorrow." There was shuffling and wood board creaking on the line before Mack came back. "Are you serious?" "Yeah, you think I will make light of that?" "Oh my Goddess! That's good news! Finally, you can be away from that man! Yes! Yes!" Mack screamed. I held the phone out in front of me until she calmed down. "Are you done now?" "Yeah, I'm done! But why aren't you happy, girl? You don't sound too happy, it makes me seem like I'm the one getting the divorce! You get to date Blade!" Mack laughed. I played with the locks of my hair. "Sorry about that, I don't know—" "Ah! It's okay, you don't need to apologize for that. Besides, your heart is still attracted to that monster. I understand you, but we all know this divorce is for the best. For you and disappointingly, for that man too." I noticed how she spelled out the word MAN with venom. She had Julian in her black books and it was going to take more than a lifetime to make her see d "Anyway, what are you wearing tomorrow?" "Why did you think I called you?" "Haaa!" Mack screamed. The speaker blared and I winced at the sting in my ear. "Jesus, stop that Mack. You are hurting my ears!" "Oh now you mention the human Christian God?" She teased. "It's the son of their God. You never really paid attention in history—fuck, I was talking about my dress right? Can you pop by, early in the morning? I will definitely have trouble choosing what to wear." I stared at the wardrobe. "Alright, Mackenzie would stop by in the morning. Hope your lazy ass wakes up early!" "I will, alright. I'm sleeping now, I feel sleepy. "Alright, love you. Good night!" Mack chimed. I brought the phone down by my side and turned to my side. I hadn't told Blade yet. I sat up and started dialing his number, but I stopped halfway. My fingers couldn't hit the call button, I couldn't bring myself no matter what. I gently laid the phone off and covered myself. Tears welled up in my eyes and poured down my face like it was spring again. My death was imminent. I had almost forgotten about it. Mack didn't know, that's why she said all these things. I was tempted to tell her, but it became harder. It would have been a lot easier if I told her in the beginning. Same for Blade, he knew about it but he was still very loyal to me. It hurt me to see someone care so much for me even if he knew there was no hope for me. Poor Blade, poor me. Poor Julian. Even if I denied it all day, I knew a great part of my heart still belonged to Julian. If only I had been given enough time, what did I do to deserve this punishment from the gods? I remembered our mating ceremony like yesterday. I remembered the white gown I had worn, the smile on Julian's face when I was led to him by my father. I didn't care if it were a lie then, but it was from a time when I was happy. I slept off with tears rolling down my face, into the night full of depression. I felt groggy in the morning, the sun was just rising. I heard noise in the background and it was too close to ignore. My eyes flew open, Mack was on the bed with me. She conversed loudly with someone on the phone, and only noticed me when I stretched. "Oh! You are awake!" She sounded so far away. I rubbed my eyes and looked again, Mack had gone to the door. It was until I saw strangers wearing black tops with the name Laurel's written on it that I fully woke up. "What's going on?!" I stood up. "They are with me—" The strangers were unlocking boxes in the room, some of them moved the tables far away like it were their personal space. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" I stopped them from reaching the drawers where my medicines were kept. "Who are they? What do they want? Why are they invading my space like it's their land or shit?!" "They are my team. I hired them to work on you, girl," Mack explained. "On me?" I held my chest. I glared at a female worker touching my left over cookies from yesterday's late night snack. "Yes you. You have to look your best today. Have you forgotten what today is?" Oh yeah, my divorce. I slapped my face, a way people did when they thought "how could I forget that?" My sleep and night was so messed up I had forgotten about it. I shook my head. "But why do I have to look my best? It's a divorce." Mack rubbed her hands together and grinned. "Exactly, you have to look your best for Julian. He has to know what he is about to lose.”