Setting Fires

**A/N: Long chappy ahead for late update. **

Walking into the dining room with my females as my moral support has my spirits rise over oceans every morning.

The elders have sunk back into their shells in response to Deimos's threats and open show of punishment. No wolf dares to disrespect me or meet their eyes with mine unless called for. Heads bowed they treat me by the weight my title carries.

As Elriam pushes the door open the chatter stops enveloped by an authoritative silence that commands the room to calm. My presence is welcomed by wolves standing up with lowered gazes and deep bows.

Elriam controls the bubble of laughter that wishes to slip past her lips. She finds this everyday situation amusing. She walks to my seat pulling the chair for me to sit upon. My females don't pay heed to the other wolves gossiping among themselves taking their rightful seats at my table.

Kal sleeps in my arms as always, I cannot wait for the day he would run around the room screaming his lungs out instead of sleeping all day. I wish to converse more with him whether it is merely playing or just making him laugh.

Deimos waits patiently. For my eyes. He needs to meet them to convey his morning wishes to me. Shutting my eyes close with an annoyed low sigh I take a deep breath to fill the emptiness I feel in my lungs these days. That hollowness seems to be smudged with darkness unable to withstand light. Kal is my light yet why? Why does it seem as though it is not enough? As though something is missing?

I meet them, his beckoning emeralds. His eyes broaden a little whilst his chest pulls in taking a breath of relief and he offers me his gleaming once in a blue moon wide smile. One without teeth but one that makes his eyes twinkle like the stars in the night sky.

"Alpha Deimos's smile sure is bright today. It is shinning right at my face." Elriam mumbles beneath her breath filling her cup with fresh juice.

My head snaps to her eyes widening to her words. I snort and choke trying to control my laughs. She is right in this case the wolves that sit close to him look even more fearful now some of them trembling visibly.

Deimos prepares to take the first bite as always that my females and I do not pay heed to. But for his title, we respect him and wait for him to begin our meals. My trials with him are of a mate and not of the Alpha he is. So I stopped taunting him by his title for I felt that was quite childish of me to do so. I am an Alpha and if Deimos were to do that to me I wouldn't be able to handle it for being an Alpha runs in my veins, it is a part of me.

I peek back at Deimos who looks at the meal splayed in front of him, his eyes focused on a particular dish. He looks up at me whilst I snap my gaze out the windows. When I meekly peek back at him he has his eyes back on the dish. Pups are moaning at the back asking to be fed. What is this male doing? Admiring the dish?

He swiftly stands up his chair screeching back upon the marble tiles. Picking up a dish from his table he begins to stride to mine at the other side of the room. Wolves watch quietly many whispering to each other of possible outcomes of his actions.

Ragon's eyes move back and forth from Deimos to me whilst he focuses on his Alpha with a soft smile silently encouraging him.

Deimos walks with confidence head held high spine straight. He walks to me with purpose. What is he doing? Is he perhaps wishing to join me at my table? That will never happen. I will never let him. Is he truly wishing to battle in front of all the wolves present?

He comes to stand in front of me whilst his eyes soften when they peer down at his sleeping male. "My female." He says. The two words twist within themselves and make love under his tongue to deliver in a soothing calming way. A way that pushes the beats of my heart to skip it's true pace, a way that makes my soul sing.

Don't! Don't call me this way. I warned you. Gritting my teeth with a tight clench to my jaw I regard him. My displeasure surges when he shows me his truth. He will always call me this way for it is not lies or manipulation. When he speaks to me his feelings and emotions towards me speaks with him.

"Deimos." I spit out.

He merely offers me another smile to my contempt. He doesn't mind rather he accepts my strikes and annoyance with him. He places the plate in front of me upon the table.

He plunges swiftly squatting, his knees bent carrying his weight his hands place the plate in front of me.

I frown unable to understand his actions. "What are you doing, Deimos?" I question scanning the contents of the plate and looking back at him. He shouldn't be this close to me, I had forbidden it. The vines of his scent wrap around my flesh as I breathe him in. A calming scent he possesses as if I am one with nature.

It is a crowded room filled with the scents of several wolves mingling together. Different faces, different features. Yet...yet why is it that he is the only one I see? The only one I feel within the depths of my heart and soul. This fate. This bond is cruel. Truly cruel.

He begins to slice the meat into small bite-size pieces. My frown deepens whilst my females watch quietly many surprised by his antics.

"I remember when you were carrying Kal in your belly and this dish was placed in front of you. An excited smile would light upon your face. You would devour this up in a matter of minutes." He chuckles with a shake of his head as if he is reminiscing on memories he is fond of. Memories he keeps locked in his soul for him to savour whenever he wishes.

Elriam looks pleased as she looks down at him. She looks at him as though she finds his actions sweet and thoughtful.

If I were to speak my truth I truly do not remember about this dish. I merely remember being starved all the time and gobbling up everything in my sight.

"Your emotions to this dish was quite nice to watch and feel. You always smiled as soon as you set your eyes on it and they would light up when your tongue tasted its flesh." Deimos says whilst pouring the cream sauce into a separate cup. "You didn't like to pour it over your meat rather dip your meat in it."

This male knows more about me than I do about myself. The little things, the ones that seem to not hold much meaning to them but...they do?

A frown lights up over my face at his actions. Is he doing this to test me? To show his pack that we have no troubles? Perhaps this is a show. All a show to stop rumours and clear doubts.

His eyes search mine and the smile he held within them vanish as soon as understanding seeps in. Understanding of my questioning towards his actions.

His jaw clenches whilst his palms manifest into tight trembling fists. He wishes to say something. Perhaps something to calm the raging fire in my mind but he stops himself, taking a deep breath he composes himself.

He stands up swiftly hand reaching forward to touch my flesh. I flinch visibly shifting back into the chair creating distance before I could drown in the sparks he will force upon me.

His eyes widen to my sudden antic. Whispers begin to surge once more erupting from the anticipating silence. Shutting my eyes close I curse everything around me. I didn't do it on purpose rather instinctually. I didn't think, my body just acted in response to the command from my mind. My heart took no role in this rather protested. Rather pleaded with me to allow his touch.

"I-I apologize. I was going to say my wishes to Kal. I didn't mean to scare you... I just-" He stumbles over his words getting worked up trying to deliver his truth to me. Trying to ease the tension that bounds us together in one cage. A slight blush creeps up my cheeks in embarrassment. Why am I so quick to assume rather than going with the flow?

"You can have him for a while after breakfast." I utter waiting patiently for him to get back to his seat so I can stop being in the spotlight that I detest.

"Yes, I would love that." He gives me a quick smile striding back to his seat paying heed to my feelings.

I peek back at the juicy slice of meat. It looks scrumptious and with my taste buds, I would probably love it. Quite funny how I couldn't remember eating this. Was I that indulged or engrossed in it?

The noisiness of the pack begins once again as Deimos takes his first bite and the wolves begin to converse and fill their bellies. The chair at his right is void rather I can feel the coldness from here.

His eyes are downcast focused on the plate that lies beneath, fingers working on cutting down his meal whilst he chews quietly not indulging in any conversations. Neither with Ragon who eats at his side who is in the same position as him nor with our warriors who talk about potential war plans and positions.

I watch him not from a viewpoint of a mate but one of an ordinary wolf. Is this how he always was before we met? Quiet, unapproachable and disinterested? The Deimos I know is not the male who sits opposite the room.

And Ragon, I...I do not recognize him in any sense. He seems very similar to his Alpha, not the playful easygoing characteristics I saw. At the end of the day, both of them are just two lonely males in my eyes and perhaps in the pack's eyes too.

"Alpha why aren't you eating?" Elriam questions at my side freeing me of the thoughts I was drowning in. Her eyes peek at the meat waiting to be eaten.

I slide the plate towards her. "You can have it, Elriam." I whisper grabbing some toast to dip into my soup.

"But Alpha Deimos, he-" She begins to reason to my words.

"I said you can have it. If you do not wish to eat it, give it to the females." I declare for my attention lies elsewhere. Kal is beginning to stir awake. Is this not perfect timing for he shall be reunited with his favourite wolf in the world. His father.

Throughout breakfast, I keep taking glances at Deimos. It possessed a swiftness to it for I removed my eyes from his flesh before he could feel the heat of my gaze upon him.

He remained the same as he was. Cold and detached from the rest. He wasn't this way when I had first arrived here either for his senses were overflowing with the newness of my presence. I have been seeing him in a different light, rather new darkness that haunts him. Perhaps new to me but old and familiar to him.

He seemed to look as though he were a soulless wolf void of a heart or emotions. But I know that is not the case for he proved to me in several ways he possessed a soul brighter than the stars but his faults were not the problem. His every sin towards me had brought our end.

Yes, the pack always came first. I know this. It is essential to live by these words if one was Alpha born. But as a mate, I hoped he would choose me for once in his life. Just that one time when he was tied to the tradition.

This is tearing us apart from the inside is it not, Deimos? *He stops munching to swiftly strike his eyes upon my flesh.* This. This bond that I truly treasured with every inch of my soul. Every moment, every kiss, every laugh. You shattered it. *His hands tremble unable to hold anything within them the fork and knife drops to the table with a loud clang.* With your own two hands. You did this. *His breath dies in his throat for he is unable to breathe. His fingers claw at his throat whilst he chokes for air.* My forgiveness... my forgiveness may never come. You may never be set free.* His soul bleeds.*

"Elriam, take Kal to Deimos. I do not wish to see him today or I might sink my claws into the flesh of his throat. I do not want this pack to loose their beloved Alpha." I spit my words of controlled fury to her.

"Yes, Alpha." She bows acknowledging my command to her.

"Very well, I shall go visit Cronus. That male hasn't come to breakfast today." I whisper wiping my mouth with the napkin.

Whilst the room begins to clear and wolves leave I slip out along with them for my scent shall mingle with theirs and Deimos will not know that I have left.

Finding Cronus is quite easy for he is always with the pups. If one hears the unstoppable screeches and shrieks of the young ones, one will know he is present.

Following the path that leads to the clearing, I find him by the lake. His arms hold two pups one seated on each hip. The third pup sits upon his shoulder tiny hands thrust into Cronus's locks for support.

Several others are screaming and running around him playing catch as if he were a tree.

"Carry me! Carry me, Alpha Cronus. It is my turn." A young male pleads looking up trying to meet with Cronus's eyes.

Another male pushes the young one to the ground who in turn begins to bawl and wail. "No, it is not! It is my turn, Alpha Cronus promised."

The two young pups begin to strike at each other doing their best to throw a proper punch to get first in line.

"Now now. Every wolf shall get their turn. As you can see I possess merely two hands and one shoulder. So the pup who waits patiently shall be next." Cronus utters.

I watch whilst leaning upon a nearby tree hands folded across my chest. A smirk on my face whilst I regard him. Should I help him? Or should I leave him to fend for himself?

"Lumina! I know you are here, I can smell you! Wait, little one don't pull so hard. I do not wish to be bald before I meet my mate." Cronus shrieks with pain to the little pup seated on his shoulder whilst he tries to swirl around with the weight he carries so he can find me.

"What are you doing, Cronus?" I chuckle.

"Their mothers wished to have a peaceful breakfast so I made their wish come true." He grunts as a young female begins to climb up his leg. Charmer of females indeed, they must be swooning over him in the dining room right now.

"I see. It looks like you are having fun, I shall be on my way then. Farewell." I utter teasingly, turning around acting as though I am truly leaving him.

"Wait!" He shrieks as a wicked smile paints my face.

"Yes?" I question innocently.

"Help me." He whispers his eyes tearing up. A loud laugh booms from my chest, the pups have clearly traumatized him.

Striding towards them with a low chuckle I begin to remove the pups from him who stick to him as glue screaming when I try to extract them.

"Come, I shall carry you too." I bend down picking up two pups from the ground holding them on each hip.

A female begins to sniff me, my neck, hair and cheeks taking in my scent. Many know my scent and show respect when they are in contact with me but some are still young to recognize it and rather remain careless and playful until their mothers come and apologize to me on their behalf.

Whilst she sniffs she presses her cold tiny nose into my flesh, its coldness erupting goosebumps upon my skin. "Why is your nose so cold, little one?" I question with a laugh.

The male on the other side of my hip begins to fret not liking that I am standing still so I rock them both swaying my body to the music of the wind. They calm placing their heads into my neck whilst sucking on their thumbs.

"You are quite good with pups, Lumina." Cronus whispers at my side eyeing up my position.

"I love them. I think they bring joy, laughter and light to a pack. Without these little monsters running around it would be awfully quiet and boring." I reply with a smile to meet his eyes.

"Is this what you envisioned with Deimos? To have a big family." He asks.

"Yes. With every breath I took, as soon as my eyes laid upon his flesh from the very first time."

"It can still come true, Lumina. I do not know why but I believe." He says.

"Because we love each other, Cronus. As true friends, we will always support the other. But when you meet your mate and go through every trial and tribulation perhaps than you shall see this situation in a different light." I mutter.

Yes, this was a situation I dreamt of for a long time. To bear him many pups so his pain of losing a family and my pain of not having one may be healed. And that we would always be surrounded by light and warmth. To hold each other in cold winters and to travel in warm summers. But that was all they were. Dreams.

"Yes, I understand your words. But somehow Lumina, knowing both you and Deimos. The moon shall bless your path with light again. I see your bond's rebirth."

I look away my eyes sweeping past the lake. Rebirth he says as if it were truly easy. The moon has counted her every blessing to us and we have used up all of them. I know she has none to gift anymore. She has given up on us and so have I.

"Your eyes, they sadden me. I wish to see them smile again. Truly." Cronus comes to my right his hand placed upon my head as he pats gently.

"Me too, Cronus. Me too." I whisper meeting his eyes to gift him with a soft smile.

The rustle of leaves from behind us has the entirety of our attention, whilst we turn swiftly to peek at the intruder. A wolf emerges from the shadows of the dense trees. Head low red eyes blazing peering up at us, his ears are erect and his sooty fur bristles.

Lips pulled back his incisors on display canines glimmering in the light, with low growls that vibrate through his chest pouring out his mouth with displeasure. Eyes looking back and forth from Cronus to me he delivers his warning with another booming snarl.

He stands stiff-legged and tall. His tail held vertical and curled towards the back. A display of an Alpha male to the other showing his dominance. The rank he possesses in this pack grounds we stand upon. He stares penetratingly at Cronus who takes a slow step away from me understanding the situation.

Saliva leaks down his chin showing he is ready to sink his teeth into the flesh of the male that stands at my side. Deimos's wolf is defensive not liking the proximity between Cronus and me, rather he detests it. He questions it.

Another roar leaves his mouth, his second warning delivered to us. The pups begin to scurry towards us hiding behind our backs many whimpering and crying calling for their mothers.

"Luna. Put the pups you hold, down. Give them to me." Cronus says at my side not taking his eyes off Deimos's wolf for if he did for even a second he will pounce and draw blood. I stand astonished staring at this beast whom Deimos kept on a tight leash whilst my wolf whines behind barriers to set her free. She calls to him from within wailing and complaining of how I have kept her bound.

Deimos's wolf takes a slow step towards Cronus eyes scanning his every moment, a predatory gaze he possesses. He waits patiently for Cronus to make a move, a move that would allow him to go for the kill.

"Listen to me. Deimos and I are brothers but his wolf is ruthless he will make me bleed despite our bond. All he is sees is you and I am a threat in his eyes at this moment. I need to get the pups back safely. So give them to me!" Cronus raises his voice at me a little for I paid no heed to his words whilst he slowly kneels to the ground trying to make his body look small, he arches his back and allows low barks of fake fear to leave his lips. Anything to calm the raging best for there are pups involved.

Deimos has unleashed his wolf after so many months, any and every male he sees near me is a threat. I place the little pups down as they run into Cronus's open arms that call to them to him. He carries some pups and holds the hands of some. The others quickly make a line behind him as he orders.

"Sit down, Luna. Let him smell you. He must have missed you terribly." Cronus says his last words to me. He gives a low bow to Deimos's wolf in respect showing he means no harm. His wolf follows Cronus's every moment and he does not take his eyes off him until he disappears into the trees the pups hot on his heels.

As soon as Cronus disappears from view I fall to the ground sitting as I was told to. Deimos's wolf plops down into the position of a sphinx hind legs curled beneath belly tail hanging down its stiffness easing. He is relaxed now.

I offer him a smile. "My King." I whisper yet my voice trembles. I am uneasy about his feelings towards me for I had abandoned him when he was not at fault.

He watches me for a while, for a few minutes his eyes plunging into mine. It's as if he is observing me, my changes. My emotions. My soul.

I look away swiftly only to earn a low warning growl which quietens when I peek back at him. He does not wish for me to take my eyes off him. Why do I feel as though I have wronged him?

He takes his calculated slow first step towards me the weight of his paws leaving deep prints in the mud and I hold my breath heart pounding within my chest. He strides with confidence, with purpose towards me.

I do not take my eyes from him as he wishes but somehow I feel ashamed. Deimos betrayed me and I inturn betrayed his wolf by not allowing him near me. He leans forward pressing his wet nose into my neck with quick sniffs he takes in my scent and I lean sideways to provide him with more access.

Then he sniffs my breasts, the smell of my milk a new scent to him. A different one but he understands whom I feed from them. Lastly, he presses his nose between my thighs and I gasp my breath shaky. He takes in a few whiffs of my essence and once satisfied his tension dies.

He speaks to me. Of his feelings. He plops to the ground head placed upon paws as he peeks up at me from beneath his lashes with wet eyes. High pitched whines and whimpers leave his chest his tail tucked in the underbelly. He is upset not understanding my bleeding emotions towards him.

I shut my eyes close unable to see his pain. One that I caused him. "I am sorry." I apologize from my soul.

His whines reach their peak as he crawls slowly nudging his head upon my legs to lay his head over my lap. An Alpha male who is ruthless, unmerciful whining to his female questioning her of her abandonment.

"I am so sorry." I apologize again fingertips digging into his fur holding him to me as I push my face into his. My tongue licks his cheek, his nose and his neck. I clean him this way, my act of love towards him. He was innocent in all this yet I couldn't help but blame Deimos's soul. His soul that holds his wolf.

"I-I didn't mean for this to happen. I am angry, I am hurt. My soul is bleeding. Tell me what I should do? Tell me what I can do?" I plead with him, tears streaming down my cheeks as I bite my lower trembling lip to hold my sobs that wish to break free.

He nudges his face into the side of my neck and lays there calmly whilst I pour my uncontrollable emotions to him. "I cannot live without him and I cannot live with him. I am bound, this bond is unmerciful towards me. He knew this...he knew this and he...he-" A loud sob breaks free from the cage and I wail.

His presence brings me comfort. His presence brings me warmth and I feel as though my emotions are sucked up by him setting me free leaving me with nothing but inner peace. His fangs sink into my wrist as a sign of reclaim. As a sign of whom I belong to. I've always wanted to feel that comfort of belongingness.

My wrist bleeds and his tongue licks it up healing the fresh gushing wound. I watch his mark and another stranded tear makes its cold path down my face. He licks that as well not allowing my eyes to tear up making sure they are dry. He does not want me to cry, he cannot bear it.

He rolls upon the ground showing me his belly paws tucked by his chest tongue hanging down the side of his mouth whilst he pants. A position to make me laugh, a playful position and it indeed works for I do laugh wiping away my tears with the heels of my palms.

"I do not want to play, I want to rest. I wish to have a peaceful sleep." I whisper crawling towards him I lie on the ground to his side thrusting my face into his fur. His tail surrounds me as a shade and he pushes himself to me providing me with warmth.

I snuggle into him my eyes fluttering close listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat trying to match with mine. For once in a long time, I believe that I shall sleep peacefully knowing I am truly loved and protected.

Fingertips slowly make their way up and down my hair. I indulge in the feeling that it provides, lulling me back into slumber. The sparks that pepper my skin with kisses awaken me. Not swiftly but slowly for my mind still hasn't awoken from the haze.

I hum smiling snuggling closer into the warmth. A beautiful comforting warmth, I feel as though I am home. The scent it welcomes me with open arms as if I were its long lost lover. I want to feel the heat of flesh, with closed eyes I lift the shirt that acts as a barrier and thrust my face into it my cheek placed on the body.

A gasp, rather a moan is let out. Not by me but whom I lie upon. First strike of confusion hits. Sniffing the flesh trying to get a hint of scent that hesitates to come to truth. I feel lips on my wrist a gentle wetness it leaves, and I frown. Second strike of confusion hits.

Taking a deep breath I squint my eyes open to get a look at the wolf. Who was I with? Oh yes, Deimos's wolf. Wait then that means that he is- As my blurriness dies I face a stomach and chest for I am covered by a shirt.

Frowning removing the shirt from around my head my eyes meet Deimos's. He peers down at me with gently followed by a soothing smile.

"Did you sleep well, my female?" He questions. My eyes broaden and I look over our position. His back leaned over a tree, his fingers in my hair and my head over his lap. What have I done?

I get up swiftly pushing myself away from him creating as much distance as possible. I was too carefree. I let him have his way with me. Disgust boils in the base of my throat.

"My female?" He questions with a frown getting up to stand like me. Confusion strikes him as he takes a step forward.

"Get away from me! Do not dare to take another step towards me." I begin to pace. "Why was I sleeping on your lap, Deimos?" I question anger rising. I am so quick to anger when it comes to him.

"My wolf, he spent his time with you so he gave me back control. You were sleeping peacefully and I did not wish to wake you up." He replies.

"Where is Kal?" I query.

"With Elriam. I had him for a while then at one point I couldn't control my wolf anymore, he tore through his leash when I lessened my grip on it. He followed your scent, I couldn't stop him." He explains.

"How long?" I spit.

"What?"

"How long was I on your flesh Deimos?" I ask.

"Why must you put it that way?" He takes a step back with a shake of his head for my words are full of disgust and contempt.

"You took advantage, my shield was down so you took it as a chance to touch me." I declare.

"That was not the case! I told you so. And what if that was the case, you are my female. I yearn to touch you." His voice raises both of us getting agitated.

"No, I am not your female. I thought I made that clear. This will never happen again, I will make sure of that." I speak to myself rather to him.

"This will happen again and I will make sure of that." He fights me. His words irk me. Irk me down to the pit of my rotten heart.

My outrage surges above all emotions, above every thought and every action. Clenching my jaw my eyes blazing in the pit of hell I spit the words one must never do so to their mate despite how much pain they bring forth.

*"I hate you."*

The anger in his eyes disappear quickly as it came replaced by an emotion I am unable to determine. He takes a slow stumbling step back with a deep shaky breath. The entirety of his being trembles. My words have stung like none other, it has broken him down.

He sways as though he would pass out any moment, the shield of his mind quickly put up in place. He does not want me to see him bleed from within and which might make me regret my words. He wants me to hold them for he belives it is my truth and I must stand by it.

"You have...you have never understood me. Truly. You have never seen my soul, that every action I do is for you. And I do not blame you, who could understand me when I am afraid to be understood. I have not understood you either. In plenty of ways more than one. And that is all my fault, my burden and that is what caused this." He whispers eyes looking at the calm water behind me.

I look away from him my thoughts wavering. His words hold the truth to them and they shine bright blinding me.

"Hate." He chuckles, a bleeding chuckle. "That is a word I was taught to never say to my female. It holds more meaning that any word in this world. I thought...that we could somehow get past this that I could earn your forgiveness. But hate I did not expect that for now I truly know how you feel, about me."

Perhaps I took it too far. I was angry, he irked me. He pushed me and that is not a good thing to do in the midst of my fury.

"I was not born to be loved, my female. I was born to be alone for every action of mine, every word has caused you pain and suffering. And your hate...I shall accept it."

A soft curse leaves my lips. I did not mean for this to happen.

"I do not know how long I can keep doing it but I shall keep doing so till my very last breath, even if you cannot see it. Even if it means I must hide it from you for your protection and now Kal's." He says.

"Doing what, Deimos." I question with a frown.

*"Setting fires to keep you warm, mate."* He whispers and with one last gut wrenching glance at me he walks away. He walks away for the very first time. I have defeated him.

**

A/N: Please know that Deimos's wolf and his human side are two different entities with different minds and souls. They are not the same. His wolf is an animal with animal instincts and Deimos's human side is obviously human.

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