Chapter Six — Arrangements

Joseph had debated with himself for an hour if he should follow her and ask what had gotten into her. In the end, he had climbed the stairs onto the loft space and spent some time editing his latest manuscript while the power was still running. He expected a power outage any minute now when he looked outside and saw the way the heavy snow weighed down the cedar branches surrounding the house. The power lines didn’t look any different at the moment, but that could change quickly. As soon as the power was out, he would have to get into the shed and start the generator, or all the food in the fridge would go bad and they could forget having hot water. The first storm had taught him a lot about storing supplies and why putting them outside in a storm like this one was a stupid idea. Cans didn’t like to be frozen and vultures were out even in this weather, so storing meat in the open had proven a problem as well.

She had had her mug in her hands, he remembered while pondering over a sentence. Maybe she could use another coffee. The station had always praised his coffee above anyone else’s. With a groan he stood up, noticing once again that he should have stretched more while working. At forty-two he sometimes felt like an old man already. Fucking knee.

Joseph limped down the stairs, wondering how long he would still be able to use them, and picked up the coffee can. Coffee and beef jerky had become his best friends in the last storm. For weeks after that he couldn’t stand the smell of the dried meat, but now he craved it.

Just as he measured the ground coffee for a fresh brew, he heard steps behind him.

Maria stood in the door frame and watched him closely.

“Would you like a cup of coffee as well?”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around her middle, scrunching up her nose when she brushed against her ribs.

“Have you taken the painkillers?”

She shook her head.

“Why not?”

“They make me tired.”

Joseph turned around and leaned against the countertop. “Are you in pain?”

She hesitated before dropping her gaze, nodding.

“Then please take a Tylenol and sleep. That’s the best way to heal, especially when you can’t do much else.”

“I’d like to.”

Her words were barely audible.

“Like to what?”

“Do… something. I-I feel useless,” she admitted with a deep blush.

Joseph regarded her for a long moment. “You said you could cook.”

Maria nodded timidly.

“Then you are our resident cook from now on.” He tried a smile, but felt stupid being friendly to her when she wouldn’t stay for more than two weeks. After that she would be nothing but a scent on his pillow and he very much looked forward to that. Just as he wanted to ask her again if she was okay, the overhead light flickered before everything suddenly turned dark.

“Fuck,” he mumbled and pushed himself off the counters. “Power is out. I’m gonna start the generator in the shed.”

The sudden spike of panic pierced his nose.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. I’ll leave Moose with you as company.”

“Okay,” she whispered uncertainly and swallowed thickly. He felt her eyes on him while he limped for the mudroom and put on his snow boots and thick coat. The shed was only a few yards from the log house, but with this storm outside, he would probably need half an hour to shovel a path to the shed door.

Gritting his teeth, he unlocked the entrance door and saw her reflection in the door’s windowpane. Like a ghost waiting for his return. A shiver ran down his spine when their eyes met shortly. There was so much worry in her, so much pain, so much he recognized in himself. What had she seen that had turned her into this shadow of an Omega? How had she been treated if asking to cook was intimidating? Was it his fault because he was an Alpha? Had her abuser been one? Surely, Betas hardly lost their cool like the person who had used her to let out his frustration and anger on someone physically inferior to him.

The biting cold pulled him back into the present. Get out! Get the generator working!

Joseph grabbed the snow shovel from the porch and began his laborious quest to the shed. He needed to pull his scarf up over his nose to keep it from freezing off. His knee screamed at him, agony shot through him with every step. Once he was back inside, he needed to take a long bath and relax his muscles. But there would be no hot water without the generator.

Thankfully, he had stocked up on fuel beforehand. Now it came in handy. Despite the thick gloves he had on, Joseph soon couldn’t feel his fingers anymore. It spurred him on even more. He worked quicker, shoveling more snow in one go than he usually would only to get it out of his way. Finally, he arrived at the shed and cursed loudly at the frozen latch. Using blunt force, he ripped it open and entered the cold shed.

The only light in the room shone in through the small windows high on the wall right below the eaves of the roof. It was enough to make out the general shape of everything in the space. The generator stood right in the middle, his fuel cans lined up along one wall, dehydrated food and an emergency supply of water crowded the utilitarian shelf on the opposite wall. Alma had joked once that he would survive the zombie apocalypse like this, but he wasn’t so sure. Running could present a problem to him.

Only a minute later, the generator purred alive and Joseph made his way back to the porch. His path was already filling in with fresh snow, not yet deep enough to pose a real problem to him.

Maria still waited at the same spot. She had her lower lip between her teeth, anxiously looking at him when he locked the door again and peeled off the wet and snow-covered layers one by one.

When he was down to his normal attire, a sweater and a pair of worn jeans, he left the mudroom. Testing, he flipped the light switch on and off, pleased to see the electricity was back.

“The main source of light and warmth should be the fireplaces. No unnecessary use of power. Warm water, fridge and cooking. Nothing else, okay?”

She nodded and looked down to the floor as if he had just scolded her.

“I will warm up in the tub now. Why don’t you prepare lunch in the meantime?”

Again, she nodded without looking up at him and again, he felt anger simmer in his guts. Before it could tint his scent, he made his way into the bathroom and turned on the water heater before he stripped.

***

Joseph hissed as he pulled his pants down his legs, inspecting his aching knee. It looked gnarly, scarred, slightly askew, and gave his leg an unnatural bend to the side. Whenever he looked at it, he remembered the pain of the baseball bat slamming over and over again against his leg while he fought to stay awake after the knockout blow to the head. Screams and shouts echoed through his mind. Pig! Fucker! Asshole! All kinds of expletives he was used to as a cop. Fear. He had never felt such fear in his life.

His chest felt tight and he needed to sit down on the edge of the bathtub, taking in deep breaths to calm his pounding heart.

His right hand twitched like it had three years ago; down to his hip where his gun used to be. Blood from his head wound had glued his eyes shut. The sound of his gunshots—three, four, five—was deafeningly loud. No more pain. A thud. A scream. The voice of his partner. Darkness.

Joseph opened his eyes, feeling wetness on his cheeks and despising the scent of his stress in the small bathroom. The water had heated up by now. Without getting up, he reached for the boiler and turned it off. He needn’t waste the power they had right now. He filled the bathtub and slowly descended into the steaming hot water. His aching muscles immediately reacted to the soothing warmth surrounding them. He let out a deep groan and closed his eyes, sinking deeper into the tub. If Maria wasn’t there, he would probably spend most of his days soaking in the tub. Why hadn’t he grabbed the whiskey on the way here? It was usually whiskey and the tub, Moose would lie in front of the tub and occasionally enjoy a little petting on the head while Joseph relaxed.

Well, Moose clung to the Omega like glue and he couldn’t hunker down in the only bathroom of the house in case she needed to go to the toilet. But not right now, now he relaxed and enjoyed the little time he had free of the nagging pain emanating from his knee. His mind wouldn’t shut up though. Joseph stared out the small window opposite the tub and let out a sigh through his nose. Dr. Fleet had instructed him to inform him as soon as his leg got worse. It had gotten much worse since the initial recovery, but never as bad as it was now. Fear crept up his back. Joseph remembered hearing the doctor talk about amputation as a possible outcome. As things were now, he could at least stand on his own two legs even if only for a decreasing amount of time. Losing his lower leg would rob him of even that little bit of normality. No, he wouldn’t tell Dr. Fleet and invite disaster into his life once again.

A small knock on the door pulled him out of his bleak thoughts.

“Lunch is ready,” Maria called and waited for his reply.

Joseph needed to clear his throat before he dared to speak. “I’ll be right with you. Need a moment to get dressed again.”

***

Joseph needed twenty minutes to get out of the tub and put his clothes back on. He gritted his teeth when he pulled his pants up, working through the pain, and then sniffing, annoyed at the air around him. If Maria went in right after him, she would probably head straight for the toilet to throw up thanks to the stench of his distress.

He unlocked and opened the door and the comforting smell of food engulfed him immediately. Amazing how the scent of homemade, good food and the little trace of Omega ever-present in the air could transport him back to his childhood, bringing back memories of his fifteen-year-old self coming home after football practice in late fall when the air turned brisk and the first hints of winter came out at night.

The dining table was set with two plates, glasses, silverware and a bottle of sparkling water along with a steaming pot of something. Maria stood beside it, her hands folded in front of her while she chewed on her lower lip as if awaiting his judgment of her work.

“Smells great,” he said and couldn’t deny the relief he felt when her shoulders relaxed a little. Joseph moved over to the chair closest to him and sat down. She moved closer, only after he was seated. Maria pulled off the lid of the pot and revealed what looked like lentil stew with sausages and bits of carrot and potato in it. A hearty feel-good meal perfect for winter, he thought pleased.

She moved to serve him a portion, but he stopped her.

“Sit down. You cooked, I can serve myself.”

Maria’s eyes flew up to him and her shoulders promptly tensed up again. Had he said something wrong? He simply didn’t need to be babied. She dropped her gaze and sat down wordlessly, patiently waiting for him to fill his plate and thanking him quietly when he also filled hers. Joseph noticed the way she waited for him to do everything first, sit down, get food, taste it. Also, she sat painfully straight in the uncomfortable chair he had meant to replace a while ago. Since he usually ate on the couch or at his desk, he hadn’t come around to actually doing it though.

Joseph stuffed himself with the delicious meal, not saying a word as he enjoyed the diverse textures and tastes of their meal. Making her the cook was a great idea.

“Would you like to keep cooking?” he asked in between bites.

“If you want me to.”

He stopped eating for a second and drew his eyebrows together. “I asked you what you want, Omega.”

Maria put down the spoon and returned into the scared, submissive posture: head between her shoulders, hands on her lap, eyes downward.

“I’m sorry, Joseph.”

“Who told you to do that all the time?”

She frowned down at her hands. “I don’t understand.”

Joseph placed his spoon down as well and copied her posture to make a point. “This.” His body rejected the show of utter submissiveness, aching to return into his default relaxed state with his back leaned against the back of his chair and his knees slightly apart. Maria swallowed thickly and the confusion dripped into her scent.

“Do you ever slouch?” he tried again.

She shook her head. “That wouldn’t be proper.”

“Says who?”

Maria shook her head again. Obviously, she didn’t want to talk about it and Joseph had no desire to scare her back into her nest again.

“All right, sit however you like, just don’t think you need to be uncomfortable to please me. I couldn’t care less. The food is delicious though, so I hope you will continue to cook.”

She nodded and cautiously picked up her spoon again as if she expected him to lash out at any minute. Her eyes darted between her plate and his hands. He ached to know who had groomed her like this, but in the end, he would only get angry again. He knew it. This arrangement between them would hopefully help her out of her shell a little once she knew he wouldn’t harm her.

Joseph realized himself that there was a lot of ‘hopefully’ and ‘maybe’ in his thinking, and in the end it was all he could do. At least for now.