Chapter Five — Alpha

She had lost her baby. Again. Maria had eaten the stew as if in a trance. It wasn’t very good, but it was food. Now she silently wept in her nest over her son. The only thing she had left of him and she had simply lost it. What kind of a mother did that?

Moose was by her side, whining when she stopped petting him. His fur was so soft and the smell of dog comforting in its own way. Maria remembered having a dog as a child. Before her mother had woken her and her baby sister Bethany up in the middle of the night to pack their things and leave home. Bethany hadn’t even been a year old yet. Maria was maybe seven or eight years old and did not understand why they couldn’t stay with their daddy, and as she grew older, her mother made it clear she didn’t want them to ask questions. Instead, she had taught them how to become proper mates.

Alpha knows best. Only good and obedient Omegas get mates. Bad Omegas get nothing.

The mantra echoed back in her mind. Her hand came up to the junction between her neck and shoulder. She was unmarked. She and Chad had never really talked about claiming. There was hardly any time. Two months after meeting him, he had already asked her to marry him. She had been so in love with him back then that she was sure she had won the lottery. An Alpha with political ambitions, rich and handsome, and he wanted her? She felt like Cinderella especially since her mother was immediately smitten with him. Maria never wanted to disappoint her mother… disappoint anyone actually.

She would now. Dread filled her when Maria imagined what her mother would say when she found out that she had run away from her husband.

A year into their marriage, she had fallen pregnant and then six months later… Maria choked up just thinking back to it. One day, she had cooed at her baby boy, feeling him kick and move when he heard her soft voice. The next, the doctors told her they couldn’t hear his heartbeat anymore and that things like this happened sometimes. For Maria, her world had collapsed. Chad was quick to blame her and soon she blamed herself as well. Maybe she didn’t take enough vitamins or she had been too reckless with her walks through the park with her mother. It must have been her fault. Why else had Chad punished her so much?

A knock on the door startled her. She quickly wiped her cheeks dry and turned her head over her shoulder to watch Joseph enter the room. He limped quietly to the foot of the bed and snapped his fingers, whispering for Moose to follow him outside to do his business. The dog followed his master’s command after a small chuff and the door closed again behind them. It felt colder without Moose and she hated it.

Maria snuggled deeper into her nest and let her tears sink into the bedding she had surrounded herself with. It all smelled of him, Joseph. Without meaning to, she took in a deep breath to let it linger in her lungs, taste his scent and filter through the different fragrances. Moose’s scent was overwhelming although only because he had been lying by her side for hours now. Joseph’s scent was… nice. Ground coffee and tree bark, rich and heavy scents that matched his dynamic. But he had been so angry at her during the talk on the couch that he had smelled like burned coffee when it spilled over on a hot cooking plate, sharp and dry in her nose.

Maria wondered why he lived alone. She’d always thought every Alpha needed a mate. Maybe he had lost his, but there was no hint of a woman ever living here. At least not in this bedroom. The cabinets and dressers only held his clothes and scent, and the only picture of a woman she had found so far was one from a college graduation ceremony. The woman looked a lot like Joseph, so Maria assumed it must be his younger sister.

Maybe it was too painful for him to see pictures of his mate, maybe he had lost her before moving out here into the wilderness. Maybe she had been killed in an accident and that’s what had happened to his leg, and why he was not keen on talking about it. On the other hand, she hadn’t been keen on telling him about the contents of her bag either.

A fresh tear rolled down the side of her face. How could she have lost him?

The door opened again and Moose and his master returned. While the dog immediately returned to his spot by the side of the bed, Joseph made his way to the fireplace and put in fresh wood. Even if he didn’t want her here, he still made sure she didn’t go hungry or cold.

“Thank you.”

The words were out before she had even thought them. He stopped in the middle of adding another log, most likely looking over to the bed.

“You’re welcome.” His reply was quiet, almost a whisper, before he left without another word.

She turned back on her side and continued stroking Moose until she finally fell asleep.

***

Coldness woke Maria the next morning. Moose was gone and the fire was merely a small glimmer. Unless she wanted to freeze, she would have to get up and put in a new log. When she tried to move though, her body protested and it was all she could do not to cry out in pain. Lying on the hardwood floor, nest or no nest, hadn’t been a good idea. But at least she had felt safe.

Biting through the pain, she crawled out of her hiding space and pulled herself up on the bed frame. Her back gave a nasty crack when she stood up to her full height while her ribs reminded her of Chad’s unrelenting beating. Her punishment for being a bad Omega. With a groan, she bent down and added a log to the fire, watching as the embers slowly turned the fresh wood dark before it caught on fire and a proper flame appeared. Then she added two more logs and stood up again. The sudden smell of the dog caught her off guard just like the cold wet nose that touched her hand. She pulled it away and took a few steps back, startled.

Moose gave her a friendly wag of his tail and chuffed happily. He meant no harm and she knew it, but for the last two years almost any physical contact had ended up in pain and tears for her. It wasn’t easy to unlearn this.

“Are you hungry?”

Maria hadn’t seen Joseph standing in the doorframe, leaning casually against it, his dark yet graying hair in a curly mess and with deep circles under his eyes. She fought against the urge to step back. Instead she nodded and wrapped her arms around her middle.

“Do you like pancakes?”

Yes, but not if they ended up as bland as the stew from yesterday, she thought.

“I can cook,” she started, but stopped when she considered what she was offering. If she cooked, that meant she would have to leave this room, and lose the safety of her nest.

“Are you saying my cooking isn’t good enough?” he asked with narrowed eyes, yet there was a slight tug on the corner of his mouth.

Maria didn’t buy it. She looked to the ground, hunching her shoulders slightly, and shook her head. “No, I’m sorry.”

The last thing she wanted was to make him think she was ungrateful for the shelter he provided. He could have easily left her out there in the snow to die. Nobody would have known, nobody could have blamed him. It would have been her fault for running from Chad. It was always her fault.

Maria sensed his eyes on her for what felt like hours. Was he looking for something? Was she so unsightly that he simply couldn’t help but stare?

“I’m not mad at you, Omega.”

It was a simple statement, but one that carried a lot of meaning. When she looked up again to ask what he meant, he was already gone.

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and mulled over his words while using the bathroom and getting ready for the day. Joseph had placed a fresh washcloth and towels onto the edge of the bathtub for her to use. Maria quickly washed off the lingering scent of her panic from yesterday and did her best not to look at herself in the mirror. She still couldn’t recognize herself in the face that stared back at her when she finally allowed herself to glance up. The swelling had gone down a little, but she was still all kinds of colors. The cut in her eyebrow had a thick scab over it and it would probably take a little while before it turned into a scar. The only silver lining was that Chad hadn’t broken her nose. Without proper medical care it would have been the most disfiguring feature of his wrath.

When she exited the bathroom, the scent of pancakes and freshly brewed coffee hung in the air. Her stomach growled in response and her mouth began to water.

Maria carefully padded into the living room and glanced at the empty dinner table. Joseph had his back to her while transferring the last pancake onto a plate.

“Do you take maple syrup? I’m afraid I can’t offer any whipped cream or fresh fruit. This isn’t exactly a five-star hotel,” he said without looking at her. “How do you drink your coffee?”

“Sweet,” she told him and moved a little closer.

“Good, no milk?”

Maria shook her head but added a “no” when she realized he wouldn’t be able to see her answer.

“Even better. I’m lactose intolerant. The only milk I have is diary free and I’d like to keep that in the pantry for more pancakes.”

Then he turned around and handed her a plate with a small tower of pancakes and a steaming mug of coffee. He looked her over with a frown. “Eat.”

Maria took the food from him cautiously and looked around the room a little lost. Was she supposed to eat with him? At the table? Alone in her room? Was she allowed to stay or did he want her to leave him alone?

“What?” he asked, his voice sharp yet his scent not giving any indication that he was irritated.

“Where do I eat?”

He arched one of his thick eyebrows and shrugged before turning around to tend to his own plate and mug. “I couldn’t care less. In your room, I assume. Try not to get any syrup on the pillows though. It’s a bitch to clean them.”

So, she wasn’t allowed to sit with him. At least that’s the only thing her mind registered. Maria nodded and turned around to move back into the bedroom, her ears filtering for anything that might indicate that he was merely pretending to be nice only to lash out at her a second later. Chad often did that which only made it more difficult to be good when almost everything she did would be punished eventually. Sometimes it was only a harsh grip around her arm or a snarled, nasty comment, sometimes it was… more.

A shiver ran down her spine as she quickened her pace and she only calmed down a little when she had closed the bedroom door behind herself. So far, Joseph had only entered the room to bring her food or let Moose out. He had called it her room, but yesterday he had questioned it. Was it her room or would he eventually demand that she let him in?

Another shiver ran down her spine. A good and obedient Omega would do it for her Alpha, but Chad was still her Alpha, right? After running away, would he even want her back? Did she have a new Alpha now? Would Joseph treat her better or worse?

Her head hurt and her stomach churned. She needed to sit down and rest. The smell of the pancakes reminded her she had to eat. Joseph had told her so. Obedient Omega.

Maria sat down on the edge of the bed and began eating. They were better than expected, but still not what she would call delicious. The coffee was great though, so great that she returned to the kitchen to ask for another cup only to find it empty.

“Jo-Joseph?”

Maria looked in the living room and down the hallway again. She hadn’t heard the door so he couldn’t be outside, but then again, she hadn't exactly been listening for it. A sudden wave of worry hit her. Was he outside? In the snow? What if he didn’t come back? What if he died out there? What if—

She took in rapid breaths, looking around and searching for him with rising panic. Nest! She needed to get back into her nest! Now!

When she turned around to make a beeline for the bedroom, Joseph stood right behind her. His frown and the disgusted expression on his face caused Maria to stumble backward immediately.

“Are you all right?” he asked softly, approaching her like a wild animal with slow, deliberate steps.

He wasn’t outside. He had just been somewhere in the house. He was not her Alpha! He was a stranger!

She nodded quickly and squeezed past him, heading straight into her nest with a cold feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. How could she have thought of him as her Alpha even for a second? Chad was her husband. As soon as the storm was over and the streets were cleared, she would go home again, back where she belonged. She would be good and obedient.