Chapter 89 Where are you

Chapter 89 Where are you
John’s POV
“What do you mean you couldn’t find her?” I asked calmly, even though on the inside Titan was clawing at me to be let out, roaring and raging in my head. Nothing could calm him, this was feeling like the new normal for us. I’m afraid it’ll always be this way until Bella is back into our arms. 

Without her my wolf is crazed. His emotions are high and unstable. Making him tell me this is my fault. 

“I’m sorry, we tried our best. She’s gone. Her scent, her trail, everything. It’s gone. It’s like they planned this a long time ago. Whoever kidnapped the alpha had their eyes on her long before we knew. We’ll keep trying, but I don’t know if we’ll ever find her,” warrior Dante whispered the last part, his eyes turned to the floor as he felt my anger rising. 

“You don’t know if you’ll ever find her?” I asked calmly, though on the inside, Titan raged, my heartbeat was frantic, and my head felt like it would explode at any moment. 

Dante sighed sadly but nodded once, keeping his eyes anywhere but on me. 

“Get out, everyone. Just go,” I snapped slightly before catching myself, punching the bridge of my nose as I waited for them to leave. 

Dante and the three warriors he brought with him all but ran out of Bella’s office. 

I stood up from her chair and walked towards the window, taking a deep breath as I scanned the forest. 

“Where are you?” I asked, more to myself than anything. 

Wanting so desperately to get a spark of something that could lead me to her. 

I still don’t understand how this could’ve happened. 

I never should’ve asked her to stay at the pack house. I should’ve known she would’ve been safer beside me. 

I knew she could fight. But I still let my instincts win. And because of that… she got taken. 

By who knows what. 

‘We’ll find her. I can still feel her and Tundra. It’s faint. But they are there, alive… but hurt. I can feel Tundra’s pain. I can feel that they aren’t okay. I don’t know how I can feel her but I can. It was on and off at first but now it’s steady. I can’t tell where they are but I think we can pull on this thread. That it might take us close enough that we could find them. We have to go out on our own again. Find someone to look after the pack,’ Titan rambled in my head, my eyes widening slightly at his words. 

‘You could feel Tindra’s pain? What about Bella? Can you feel her? Can you sense her at all?’ I asked quickly, needing to know that she’s okay. 

If he can sense Tundra that means obviously Bella is alive too, but if her wolf is in so much agony… I fear Bella might be in worse shape than her wolf. 

‘John… it’s not looking good. I can barely feel her. As if she’s hanging on by a thread… and… someone’s trying to touch her,’ he growled with so much rage my ears pulsed and my body started to get tight as if he was about to force control. 

‘It’s time, Titan. We must call Karl and Blaze.’

“Blaze. It’s been a long time,” I said with a small smirk on my face as I talked to the one person I truly was avoiding. The one person I couldn’t look into the eyes and let see my failures. My burdens. My regrets. 

The one person who would’ve stood beside me no matter what… the only person who ever stood up for me when I was just a young pup. 

“John? Is that seriously you?” His dark voice asked with disbelief, making my heart clench once in my chest. 

“Blaze… I’m sorry, brother. I- I couldn’t face you. I couldn’t let you see the pain in my eyes. I couldn’t let you see how my shoulders sagged from my failures. I couldn’t let you see the way my wolf raged inside of me from the mate bond being ripped away from me and handed right into my unknowing brother's hands and told to keep quiet about it. Not to even mention her name being involved with my own. My own father… forced me away. To be a beta in a small pack… to spy on them and report back to him when told. Follow orders and don’t ask questions. I didn’t know how you’d look at me… I’m sorry,” every word I had said was true, the truth I was so scared to let him see before. But now? I have Bella, and Megan… and I’m about to lose the mate of my dreams, I’d do anything to get her back. 

The line went silent. 

I waited… 

When five minutes went by I had thought he must’ve hung up. But I looked and he was still on the line, just… silent. 

“Blaze?” I said nervously, my voice breaking. 

“John. Where exactly are you right now?” Was the only thing he said. No other questions. For now. 

“Go to Karl. Tell him Bella was kidnapped. He needs to get here fast, and let him know… you’re coming with him,” I said before I hung up, not able to wait for him to say or ask anything else. 

I placed my phone down onto the desk, walking towards a blanket on the back of the one chair tucked away into the corner…

The fabric was soft and the entire thing smelt of her, my mate. The mate I should’ve marked instantly. I shouldn’t have cared, I shouldn’t have waited. I should’ve taken what was mine when I had the chance. Maybe I would’ve been able to find her if I did. 

I shook my head, heading towards the door. 

Just as I opened it, Megan came running through with so many tears falling from her little eyes. 

“Megan?” I panicked, I know I should’ve checked on her more, taken care of her myself more. But I’ve been so busy searching for her mother, trying to find anything that could lead us there. 

“I want my mom,” she sobbed, clutching onto my shirt tightly.