Chapter 46

I went back home, tired both mentally and physically.

I couldn’t get the fact that his scared look out of his out. There was something wrong, but he wasn’t open to talking and there was nothing I could do.

I did my night routine and got ready for bed. My phone dinged.

Elias

His name flashed across the screen. I found myself smiling at the screen. immediately realising what I was doing, I wiped the smile of my face. there was no way I could be happy from just seeing his message.

‘finally, someone I could talk with without secrets.’ I thought to myself unable to stop smiling.

I found myself replying as quickly as I opened it.

< not yet, just got back from outing > i found myself telling him. I immediately scolded myself, he didn’t need to know that, I was sure he didn’t even care.

Exactly a minute later, he replied < really? Tell me about it. >

I looked at the screen not knowing what to do, i was hovering over my key board wondering if he really meant it or not.

he messaged again.

“yeah>

I had this warm feeling in my chest he really cared. Ben never cared about my day. He always looked at me suspiciously

Our conversations went like that for a whole, him asking questions and me answering the best I could without flipping out. I never had someone ask or show this type of genuine care before.

I waited again. Typing and retyping the question I really wanted to ask before I finally got the courage to type it.

I stared at the message. I never expected to hear such words and I didn’t know what to say.

that was the only thing I could think of.

I laid my head the pillow, I felt light headed, at peace.

Someone some where cared about me, enough to ask me how my day was.

**

I had drifted off to sleep, the smile couldn’t be wiped from my face at that point. I was happy, it was a little action but somehow I couldn’t get my head over it.

I was woken up from my sleep from my phone ringing.

I ignored it the first time.

I needed to sleep, I had work to do and I needed to prepare for it the next say.

It rang again.

I clicked my teeth, irritation covering the oh so perfect bliss I slept in.

“what” I snapped. I had gotten into the habit of not checking the caller because let’s face it, there weren’t much people there to call me.

“Where the fuck are you” his voice was low, controlled but there was a subtle hint of anger in it.

All traces of sleep cleared from my eyes. He finally called me.

“B..Ben?”

“where the fuck are you?” I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t. He sounded angry, more angry than the night i tried to help him when he had fallen from the wheel chair. “You fucking left me!”

I could imagine how the ground was vibrating at his end due to the anger he was exuding.

“you left me first” I closed my eyes, trying to rain in the emotions I was feeling. From me waking up and finding out that he left me, to seeing the video of him making out with Emily.

“I HAD MY REASONS! YOU DON’T GET THEIRIGHT TO JUST UP AND LEAVE!!” I could hear his short and sharp intake of breaths as he took a pause to breathe.

“I was alone Ben” it was a good thing that we were not having this conversation physically. To let him see me In this state was appalling “you left me after the special moment we had!” i took in a deep breath not wanting my emotions to be heard.

“that is irrelevant right now, all that matters is you left!” I looked into the phone, he couldn't be serious.

“Are you even listening to me? My feelings are irrelevant?” I stared Into the blank space perplexed. At this point, I had to sit up to properly process the information.

“I didn’t say that and you know that’s not what I meant, don’t twist my words”

“then what did you mean!” all I wanted at this point was to throw my phone out if the window with the annoyance I felt.

“we are not having this conversation, not like this. You will come home and we will have this conversation like civilised adults”

“stop talking to me like I am a child Ben, I would come home when I want to come home and right now, I don’t think I want to come home. Especially not with that attitude you have on”

“Ally” he said in a very frustrated voice. I could already imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose, something he did when he was always angry

Ally, he called me that name. A pet name he always loved to call. It sounded different for some reason

It didn’t sound the same with how Elias pronounced it. It sounded more aggressive, more irritated.

“Allison, my name is Allison. You lost the right to call me such an intimate name”

“Fine, Allison, you would come home, or so help me God I will look for you, I will find you and when I do, I promise to make your life a living hell.”

“threats? Is that what you are doing now? Threatening me?”

“Its not a threat corazón, you know I never joke when it comes to you. It’s a promise I tend to fulfil of you don’t make it home to me. With that the line went dead.

I screamed out in frustration, at this point screaming at the top of my lungs. It was a miracle my oesophagus didn’t fall out with how loud and how hard I screamed.

Good thing the nearest neighbours were at least several blocks away.

With no other way to let out my frustration, I picked up the journal.