Chapter Seventeen— Well, At Least He Washed Them

I sat on the floor with Scully, asking her for advice. She stared at me, uselessly, because she wanted me to suffer. She enjoyed the pain I was in. Revenge for not playing with her more.

I wish I were allowed to wear pants to school. I felt so dirty. No amount of showering was gonna help. I just let him take my clothes off. More than let. I wanted it. I really did. Even thinking back on it, I loved the feel of everything he did to me. So much that I didn’t even regret it. I felt wanted. He made me feel wanted. More than desired. I felt like he might have wanted to keep me forever. But that just wasn’t true. I might not regret it, but I bet he did.

Scully went to sleep and I headed to school, going around her former house. I didn’t want to risk that cow thinking I stole the dog. I left it looking like she might have just gotten out, and I hoped she’d believe it. There weren’t even missing signs. She didn’t want the dog, and I probably did her a favor.

I went to lock up my bike and when I twisted the lock, the fucking thing crumbled in my hands. The chain clattered to the ground and I could only sigh. Well, who would steal a piece of shit bike like this anyway? I love her, but no one else would. I left her and moved past Nickolas’ parking car and to the gym.

When I heard his door close, I hurried away. I managed to get to the locker room before he could get to me. Not that I should assume he wants to talk to me. In fact, he probably never wanted to see me again.

After I changed, I went to the bleachers and did not look at Nickolas. I not-looked almost as much as I didn’t think about his body moving against mine and his head up my skirt. Oh boy did I not think about that. Twice.

While not thinking at all, I heard the wooden bench beside me groan. I didn’t look over at what I knew I would see. Then I felt lips on my shoulder. I had to look then. It was him, of course. But Nickolas was smiling at me like he… like I… in a way that made no sense for him at all.

“What are you doing?” I managed to ask.

His eyebrows pinched for half a second. “Well, you seem stressed for some reason. I just wanted to let you know that I noticed.”

That was sweet. Dammit. “I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

No. “Yes. Why do you care one way or another?”

He looked frustrated. “Are you joking?”

“No.” I was playing dumb.

“Posey…” His tone bordered on frustration, but with a hint of disbelief.

“Look...” I shut my eyes and sighed. “You can have a free pass on a talk about feelings.”

“I don’t need a Get Out of Jail Free card.”

The tugging in my chest wanted to believe that. Badly. I didn’t acknowledge why. So when the teacher showed up, I made a break for it. Nickolas called after me loud enough for everyone to hear, but I pretended like I didn’t.

“Today,” Coach Glover said as we gathered. Nickolas moved past the crowd to try and stand beside me. “We’re gonna play—”

“Twister!” someone from the crowd shouted. It made everyone else think that it was up for discussion and we sat through the suggestion of ten board games and Quidditch.

“NO!” the coach yelled. “We’re gonna do laps if you don’t knock it off.”

Nickolas bumped me playfully with his side. Then he tried grabbing my hips and moving me in front of him, only to hold me against his chest. I say tried. He did. And after a few seconds of enjoying it for reasons beyond me, I squirmed away. I didn’t know what he was doing, but it was worrying me.

“I want you all in groups of two or three,” Coach said. “We’re gonna go out on the trampolines.”

The class cheered.

“Yeah.” she sneered. “And we would have had a whole 'nother ten minutes if you weren’t trying to screw around. Come on.” She started walking but I stayed still.

“Trampolines… of course this fucking place has trampolines…” I muttered.

Nickolas grabbed my hand and started tugging me along. “Does it surprise you?”

My hand. He held my hand. He was being nice and affectionate and I just couldn’t let myself see the reason. If I did, I would lose all reason myself. But even with all of that, I couldn’t let go of his hand.

We were brought to another outside area with—I swear to God—ten huge trampolines all in a row. They were netted, thankfully, but I still rolled my eyes at the way this school worked.

“Pick,” Glover sighed at the trampolines before she sank to the grass.

I started walking and Nickolas was beside me. When I got to the trampoline, he grabbed my hips and lifted me up. I didn’t need the help.

I stood on the shaky surface and scowled down at him. “What are you doing?”

He hopped up and popped my personal bubble when he put his hands back on my body. “I was helping you up.”

“I didn’t need it.” I stepped backwards and it took me a whole two seconds to stumble. I fell on my back and bounced once before I settled.

Nickolas walked over with more grace than I had. He watched me with amusement. “Having a bad day, Cupcake?”

“Yeah,” I growled.

“I can make it better if you let me.”

“And how would you go about doing that?”

He smiled and dropped down with his legs crossed. We face each other and he folded his hands on his lap. “You know how,” he said with confidence. “I understand your tentativeness, but we’re not ignoring what happened.”

I stared at my knee. “Is this where you tease me and tell me that you lost your mind for a while and that was the only reason you ever touched me?”

“No. This is where I tell you that I didn’t lose my mind at all. I knew what I was doing every second that I was doing it, and I did it because I thought that if I went a single second longer where I wasn’t doing it, I would, in fact, lose my mind.”

My eyes moved to look at him without permission from the rest of me. I saw nothing but sincerity in the eyes that met mine. I was left reeling at the thought of him being earnest with such a statement.

“W-why?”

He smiled crookedly. “It seems that I’ve accidentally developed feelings. And they’re all for you.”

I made a sound. I think it was from shock. “Huh?”

“Yeah, we’re together now,” he said, way too casually.

Shock, that was for sure what it was. “Um, no we’re not. We hate each other.”

“I don’t hate you. In fact, I haven’t stopped thinking about crawling on top of you since we sat down.”

Stop liking that, Posey. You are insane. I KNOW I’M INSANE! “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t… like me. Don’t want me.”

He laughed. “Even if that was how it worked, the answer would be no.”

I stood up and almost stumbled again. This wasn’t real. I was asleep. In real life, Nickolas would never want me. Let alone admit it. He cared about Dahlia and that was it. He couldn’t grow past her.

“Not happening,” I said. “This, us, is not happening.”

He nodded. Then he pulled my legs out from under me and I fell on him. He laid on his back with me over him, and his mouth was just, just right there in kissing distance.

“It is,” he promised.

I sat up on him and he seemed to enjoy it. I was just trying to get distance between us. “Clearly you’ve had a stroke or something, because you and I would be the WORST couple ever.”

He sat up and his hands went from my thighs, to my ass again. I should have told him not to do that. I was aware. “That’s just not true at all. It doesn’t matter anyway, since you very much belong to me.”

I shoved him and he went backward. When I stood up, I grabbed at the netting so that I wouldn’t fall again on my way out. Too bad for me, the damn surface of the thing didn’t mesh with my socks.

“Posey,” Nickolas called me. “We need to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about.” I turned as he stood still.

“Don’t you dare leave before this is over.”

“I don’t take orders from crazy people!” I started walking again and thought for a second that I was going to make it.

“Fine. Be difficult,” he said, just before he jumped up once. The area beneath me became unstable and I toppled over, rolling right to his feet. I looked up at the cursed sky and grumbled. “That worked out pretty well.”

I shot up and started jumping right next to him. “See how you like it, you son of a bitch.” I jumped close enough to him that he lost his footing and fell, taking me with him. We were in a pile of misery.

“HEY!” Glover yelled at us from her spot. “Knock that off. If you get hurt, I get in trouble.”

“Sorry!” Nickolas yelled. “My ol’ lady is just a little playful.”

Everyone stared. Everyone.

I shoved at him and the coach yelled. “NOT MY PROBLEM!”

I was on my back again and I huffed to no one at all. My fault. All this was my fault. I shouldn’t have let him hold me against that damn wall. Even if I was currently heating up at the very thought of it.

Nickolas rolled on top of me, and made sure my legs were on either side of him. I sat up on my elbows while he propped up on his hands. “Posey, I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m trying to convey.”

“I understand,” I said with more frustration than I was able to function well with. “You think that I’ll just sleep with you because we went way too far yesterday. You think I’m just another girl for you to play with because I’m so damn broken that I’ll fall for anything. I’m not broken and I’m not stupid. Get off of me.”

He did, but he held my wrists with his hands. “First, you are very broken. But that’s okay. I am too. I don’t think you’re stupid. I get that I’ve been an asshole to you for the entirety of our relationship, but things are different now. Just listen to me.”

“I can’t.” I tried taking my wrists back, and he just pulled me onto his lap. My heart jumped at the proximity and he only smiled. I narrowed my eyes. “Why do you smell like cinnamon?” You bastard. How dare you smell delicious.

“I made Dahlia cinnamon rolls for breakfast. If you’d stayed over last night, you would have gotten some too.”

I scoffed. “At the low, low price of having you inside of me for ten minutes.”

His eyebrow lifted up curiously. “Come on. We both know it would have been a lot more than ten minutes.”

God, I wanted to find out. “You’re seventeen, don’t pretend you can go longer than you can.”

“Would you like me to show you how long it would take?” His hands moved up my sides and his face went to my neck. Yes, yes I would like you to show me.

“People are going to see us,” I said quietly. No one was looking, but it wouldn’t take much.

“Good.” He kissed my skin. “That means that they’ll know you’re mine.”

I shoved at his chest and he let me get off of him. “You really are a dog, Nickolas.”

He sat with his hands on the trampoline, sighing. “Cupcake, I am a wolf. Not a dog. I still think you’re missing the point.”

I got out of the net prison I was in, needing to get away. I had no intention of sticking around for this insanity. “I’m not the one missing the point.”

***

“That sounds kinda hot.” Mona smiled as we stood in line at lunch. “How long did he actually have you up and on the wall? Cuz that was always a fantasy of mine. Sadly, it won’t ever work out that way for me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m concerned that you’re not more freaked out that he straight up claimed me.”

She turned back before she grabbed a tray. “Again, hot. It’s kinda alpha male. I shouldn’t be into that.”

I laughed. “He wishes he was an alpha. He’s an omega at best.” I started picking my food and thinking violent thoughts.

“You, my love, are the omega here. Though, I guess he is too. All alone like he is. I kinda feel bad for him.”

“Don’t. He got to have a little fun. It’s over now.”

She started walking backwards, her face turned up in a fox like smile. “What if he wants to break him off another piece of all that?” She dragged her finger up and down my side. “You’re practically frothing at the mouth over him. How are you gonna say no?”

My fists clenched over the side of my tray. “I don’t want him. So it’ll be easy.”

“Mmmhmmm…”

We paid and found out seats in the middle of the lunchroom. It was full in there since the state tests were this week. No one was ditching when it could cost them their diploma.

“I have better things to worry about,” I stated as I opened my milk. “Like what I’m gonna do about Scully. My foster parents are gonna find out. I know it. She’s living in a closet. And she deserves better.”

She chewed sympathetically. “If I could help you out, sweet pea, I would. But my mom wouldn’t let a puppy rip through her seven-figure house. I can find her a new place if you want, but if I do…”

“Then I don’t see her anymore,” I finished her thought. “If it’s what’s best for her, then I’d be a real jerk if I didn’t let it happen.”

Her nose twitched. “I can see if anyone’s in the market for a puppy.”

“Thanks.”

Now, why did I grab a salad? I wanted a burger. I picked around the tomatoes with a frown and decided to just eat the croutons instead.

“Why the fuck did you get a salad?” Mona laughed at me.

“Because I’m a moron.” I threw a crouton at her face and she threw it right back at me.

“Good, you look happy,” she said. “Hold on to that.”

Huh? I felt lips on the top of my head before a tray was set down beside me. Nickolas sat down and I seethed to myself at the mess I was in. He was beaming all the while.

“How are you, Cupcake?” He popped a fry in his mouth.

“Not as good as I was five seconds ago.”

Mona cut in. “Nick, I heard that you got your hands on my girlfriend over here. Can you describe to me very slowly every second of that? Or are you pretending that it didn’t happen?”

“No pretending,” he kept on grinning. “She’s mine and I very much got my hands on her.”

Mona smiled as I blushed. “What does she taste like? I’m dying to know.”

Christ…

“She tastes like she’s mine,” he said with growing irritation. “Not yours.”

“Whoa, sugar.” She held her hands up. “I kid cuz I love. Don’t hurt me now.”

“I wouldn’t. That would upset Posey.”

I stared at him through my fingers. “You upset me.”

He clicked his tongue. “Didn’t sound like I was upsetting you when I had my mouth on your—”

“Stop!” I shouted a little too loud. Eyes were on us now and they wouldn’t look away. Nickolas noticed and loved every moment.

Mona’s hands went to the table. “Where was your mouth?”

I flicked her arm. “Not helping.”

“Not trying.” She smiled with cherry red lips.

I focused in Nickolas. “You need to stop. This isn’t happening again.”

“What isn’t?”

I stared daggers. “You know.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“No.”

He sighed. “I know what I did wrong. I should have taken care of you before I went to take care of the both of us. Won’t happen ever again, I promise.”

“Say 'deal', Pose,” Mona urged me. “Take the fucking deal. He just offered you a lifetime of foreplay that revolves around you.”

I glared at her. “I don’t want it.”

“By the way.” Nickolas reached down and picked up his backpack. Then he unzipped it. “You forgot these at my place.” He pulled out a very familiar pair of panties and held them in the air, where everyone could see.

“Holy shit,” Mona laughed. “Is that the Bat Signal? So cute.”

My mouth dropped open. “Those were just in your backpack all day?” I squeaked.

He spun them around his finger and I heard snickers and whispers all around me. “Oh, don’t worry. I washed them.”

I yanked them out of his hand and put them on my lap, covering them with my hands. “I hate you.”

I felt them. The eyes of hundreds of people on me. Judge me for something I didn’t even do. Because they all thought I fell for the wiles of a fox. But that wasn’t it at all. They would never believe that. They would only think of me as the new girl that tumbled into bed with the boy that was violent by day and something else entirely by night. In the whispers, I heard the divide. The girls, jealous and pissed. I’m a whore, I’m stupid, I’m lucky. The boys, jealous for another reason. I’m easy, I’m a target, I’m worth a roll in a bed and they wanna try and see just how quickly I give it up.

“Honey?” Mona’s hand was on mine. “You okay?”

I shook my head clear. “I don’t know.”

She looked at Nickolas, then me. “You guys need to talk. I’ll see ya,” she kissed my cheek and took the fuck off.

Nickolas was staring at her like she did something wrong. “We weren’t done talking,” he said to me. “I have to explain to you what’s happened.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I shoved my underwear to the bottom of my backpack. “You can’t treat me like you did, then on the drop of a dime decide you want me.”

“It’s not just a want.” He sounded desperate. “Please hear me. You’re more than just a girl, don’t you get that?”

“Please, explain it to me because I don’t understand why the hell you’d think that there could ever be a thing between us.”

“Posey.” He held my hand in his. “You’re my mate, and I need you. I didn’t figure it out until I saw you with Nash. Everything was coming together but that was the final straw. We were fighting and you were talking about him. I could almost smell him on you. I knew that you were mine, no one else’s.”

Mate. He called me his mate. I almost wanted to believe that he wasn’t a liar. His tone was sincere, so that only mean that he believed the lie. I wasn’t as naïve. What he felt, at most, was physical attraction. I had it too, but that wouldn’t make me forget what he did to me.

I stood up. “I can’t, I can’t do this.” The whispers were getting too loud.

I did all I could do.

I ran.