Chapter Eleven— An Awful Thin Line

Something was shaking my shoulders and saying my name. “Posey. Wake up. Nicky is making French toast.”

I opened my eyes to see a little girl on the bed next to me. She was in a nightie with Elsa from 'Frozen' on it. She was on her knees and her hands were still shaking me.

I sat up. “Where is Nicky?”

“Kitchen. He left that for you.” She pointed to my clothes. “And that.” More clothes. It was a pair of denim shorts and a shirt that looked far too big for me. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” Dahlia got off of the bed and scurried out of the room.

I picked up the new clothes and looked them over. The shirt was clearly Nickolas’. It was four Star Wars characters walking on Abby Road. I changed into everything of mine, but the shirt and the skirt and put on the other clothes before I went out to the kitchen.

Nickolas was at the stove starting to cook and Dahlia was running around the table in a circle. What I wouldn’t give for that kind of energy.

Nickolas had a happy grin on his face when he saw me. “Oh, good. The shorts fit. I wasn’t sure they would.”

I looked down. “Where did you get them?”

“They were mine when I was about twelve or so. I had some old clothes that Kim hasn’t given away yet. Hungry?”

“Sure.” I sat at the table.

“I figured you didn’t want to be stuck in that uniform for the day. I didn’t know how long you’d be here today.”

I ran my fingers through the light tangles in my hair. “I can call Mona. She can probably come and get me.”

“NOOOOOOO!” Dahlia said as she came to a sudden stop in front of me. She hopped on my lap and put her hands on my face. Her eyes were impossibly serious. “You can’t leave. You have to stay all day and sleepover again. Nicky, make her stay.”

He turned around. “Can’t do that, kiddo. She doesn’t live here and I’m sure she’ll wanna go home soon.”

“But she can’t go home till Sunday. She can just be here till then.”

Nickolas wanted to tell her no, obviously. And he did. “She can’t.”

Dahlia’s eyes glossed over with tears as she looked at me like I could fix this. “Please don’t go away. You have to stay because I love you and I would miss you.” She wrapped her arms around me as tightly as she could and her head rested on my chest as she sniffled.

Her words sent a sharp pain to my chest. Pain, but it didn’t quite hurt. More like it could hurt, with little effort. The possibility was balancing on a knife’s edge.

She said she loved me. The words ‘I love you’ came out of her mouth and they were directed at me, and that had never happened before. Not even with the Morgans. I was with them for years and they never told me they loved me. I just thought they might. But this… she was telling me she did. She was only a child, she might not understand the weight of the words. Or, if I were being optimistic, I would take this as a more meaningful thing than if an adult had said it. Because Dahlia was only a child, and everything about her was pure and good. If she felt something, she would say it. What she chose to say, was that she loved me.

I hugged her back and I held onto that little bit of control I had over my own eyes. I didn’t want Nickolas to see me break down over something like this. He wouldn’t understand.

When she pulled away from me, her eyes were still full of tears. “Please don’t go away,” she said again.

I looked at Nickolas, because it was up to him. He could make her day or he could break her heart. And because he was a better man than he would let anyone see, he said, “You can stay again if you want to.”

“YAY!” Dahlia screamed and jumped off of me. “We can play games and watch another movie.”

I nodded. “I’d like that.”

Nickolas set the food out and we all ate together. Dahlia inhaled hers in less than ten minutes, so that she could go back to running around like crazy. She ducked under the table so that the only thing we could see were her eyes. Dahlia was playing spy, so she needed to be stealthy.

Dahlia ran up to her brother, and put her face in his sleeve. She looked at me and back to him. “I wanna show Posey something.”

“And what might that be?” He smiled.

“It’s a surprise. Can I show her?”

His eyebrow arched suspiciously. “What is it? I can’t say yes if I don’t know.”

Her nose scrunched up. “If I tell you, then the surprise is ruined.”

He patted her on the head. “Then how about you tell me when I get back?” He rose and put his dishes in the sink. He started walking and he said, “I’ll be back, Cupcake.”

Dahlia smiled with mischief that I knew she got from Nickolas. Then she tiptoed to me. “I wanna show you.”

I smiled. “What do you wanna show me, honey?”

She looked around. “My coyote. I think you should meet her.”

Adorable. “You have a coyote?” Must me a little plush she has in her room. I saw one or two when I was in there.

She shook her head. “I’m the coyote. I have to go and change but then you can see.”

Even cuter. She wanted to pretend to be a coyote. “I’ll wait here.”

She beamed and ran into her room. I sat there and waited for her to come back while I enjoyed the rest of my French toast. It was a crime that Nickolas was so good at making everything.

I was about to put way too much food in my mouth when I heard Dahlia coming back. I held the fork when I saw a baby fucking coyote running through the hall at me. It didn’t even stop before it hopped up and onto my lap. It looked like it was smiling just before it licked my face.

I… I didn’t… I didn’t…. “NICKOLAS!” I yelled.

He was in the room three seconds later. “Shit,” was all he said.

My eyes were locked on the animal that was snuggling up to me. “Um, why, why is there a baby coyote on my lap right now!” It turned and saw my food. Then it started eating what was left.

Nickolas fearlessly scooped up the pup and held it to his face. “Really? You couldn’t maybe wait for me to tell you this was okay?”

It howled.

He shook his head and looked at me. “Did you see her shift?”

I whimpered.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Another whimper. “Shift? Um, shift from...?” I knew. I already knew what he was going to say.

“From a human. I meant, did you see Dahlia shift? I guess Nash was kind enough to tell you what you were but he didn’t share what we were. I guess that’s a good thing.”

Yet another whimper. “What are you?”

Nickolas sighed. “I’ll be back.”

He took coyote Dahlia out of the kitchen and into her room. He came back as I was trying to not pass out.

He sat at the table right next to me. “You know what you are, right?”

I rubbed my eyes. “I… I don’t know. Nash called me something. Fae. But I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He said he was something else. He could sense what I was. I thought he was crazy. He said I would have powers or something. I didn’t have anything. Then I figured it out. But...” I swallowed. “I was still holding out hope that he was nuts and I was just seeing things.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, confirming it all. “But as a courtesy, I’ll fill you in on a few things.”

I laid my head on the table. “You turn into something too?”

“A wolf.” He smiled.

I let out a sharp laugh. “So, you’re a werewolf. She’s a were… coyote. And I’m a fucking fairy.”

“You are not a fairy.” He started rubbing my back. “And we aren’t were anything. But you look like you’re going to be sick. Do you need to throw up or something?”

A mumble of words came out and I couldn’t even figure out what they were supposed to be.

He put an arm under my legs and kept the other at my back when he picked me up. Nickolas cradled me in his arms, and I let him because I couldn’t do anything else. I was lightheaded and I was half convinced this was a dream.

After we got into his bathroom, he gently set me on the cool tile floor. He sat beside me and started rubbing my back again. “Anything you want to know, ask me.”

I looked at him. “What are you?”

He hesitated as he decided if he meant what he said. “A Lucien.”

“And I’m a fae?”

He nodded. “The reason Nash knew, was because you don’t smell human. He’s what I am.”

“When we met, you knew in a second that I wasn’t human. Didn’t you?”

“I did. I had no clue that you didn’t know. I figured it out a little later. You didn’t tell me much about you, but Mona filled in what I wanted to know.”

I sighed. “You grilled Mona about me? Why?”

He smiled softly. “Because I wanted to know about you. A mouthy little fae. How could I resist? She told me that you’ve been in foster care since you were in infant, so I assumed you were a changeling. I didn’t want to go and burst your bubble, so I didn’t say anything. Also, I would have had to tell you about me. I didn’t want to expose Dahlia. But I guess she took care of that for me.”

“My parents, they left me at a fire station. They named me and dumped me. Nash told me about why they did it.” I paused. “So you can change into a wolf?”

“Yeah. Canine runs in the family. Dad was one. Mom was something else. Bear.”

“Ah.” Just drop that oh so casually. “It’s genetic?”

“It is.”

“So, if you had a kid, it would be one?”

“If I had one with another Lucien, for sure. Human, maybe. Fae, also maybe. It could be one or the other. Or Lucien and fae.”

I still couldn’t wrap my head around this whole thing. There was a shred of me that clung to the fact that this wasn’t real. Just an elaborate prank on me.

“Can I see?” I whispered.

His hand stopped moving on my back. “See… what?”

I watched his eyes. “I didn’t see her change, and I don’t really know if I found out my power thing or whatever. But if I see you change, then I know that this is real.”

Nickolas looked nervous. “I’m telling you it’s real.”

“Is that a no?”

He squeezed my arm and smiled. “You’d have to see me naked.”

I smirked back. “So?”

That earned a bigger smile. “A little unfair.”

I huffed. “I was naked in front of you yesterday, and it’s not like I’m gonna be checking you out.” I’d never actually seen a guy naked. I had little desire to now, but I didn’t have much choice.

“But I didn’t see anything.”

Jesus. “How about I try and even it up a little?” I didn’t give him the chance to respond before I took his hand and put it up my shirt, and right where I thought it would shut him up.

His lips parted as he looked at the floor. His thumb dragged across the edge of my bra and along the exposed skin. There was the slightest bit of pressure when Nickolas’ hand tightened around me. Then I started wondering if this was a bad idea. I thought over the bra wouldn’t have been a big deal. Well, incorrect. His eyes were glassy and I… liked it more than I should have. Not only him touching me, but the reaction he gave.

“We good?” I asked as I faked being okay. I didn’t actually remove his hand.

“Well.” He smiled. “Not really. You get to see me. And all I get is—”

Fine then. Under the cup. I tried lying to myself by thinking it was just for him. It wasn’t. I liked what we were doing before, and I wanted to see how much better it could get. Answer: a lot.

His breath hitched when we were skin on skin. His hand tightened again before it dragged across me. His fingertips followed. My heart raced and my skin flushed. Did he have any idea what this was doing to me?

“Are we even now?” I whispered.

“Yeah. Pretty even.” His face went from entranced to cocky as he pulled hand out of my shirt. “I should warn you, my wolf might frighten you.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure. Hop to it.”

He frowned. “I think I’m gonna need a minute or two.”

“Huh? Why?”

The boy looked sideways, avoiding my gaze. “Seeing me naked is one thing. Seeing me… worked up… well I don’t want you to pass out. Start talking, that might work.”

My mouth dropped open. “Are you kidding me? Me talking would make it go away?” That hurt my feelings in a way I didn’t care to look harder at.

“Well, sweetheart, you are quite the turn off when you wanna be.”

I looked at the floor so he wouldn’t be able to tell how upsetting that was. Then he tilted my chin up. “Don’t get that way. You know exactly what I mean. You are as much capable of working me up as you are of undoing it. How’s that? Better?”

“No.”

He sighed and let go of me. “Let’s just do this. Dahlia’s time out is almost over.” He stood up and moved a few feet away from me. “Listen, when I’m a wolf, I’m still me. But not completely. I’m an animal. I have animal instincts and I don’t always have perfect control. I’m dangerous. Be careful.”

“Okay.” I set my back against the tub.

Nickolas pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at me. I would have laughed if I couldn’t see him. There was… Nothing to laugh about. Nothing with a capital N. Holy monkeys, he was a lot better looking than I’d ever noticed. His chest was literally perfect, no chest hair and wasn’t that just lovely. The little lines from his hipbones dipped under his jeans and I wanted nothing more in this world than to see the rest of them.

I was about to see the rest of them.

Oh god.

I was about to see the rest of them. I was about to see all of him. Nickolas Weaver. The boy I hated a week ago. The boy I was pretty sure I hated this morning. He was taking his clothes off in front of me. Huh.

He started unzipping his pants with a smirk. “I feel like I should be doing this to a Katy Perry song or something.”

“That what you normally do?” I asked flatly.

“I don’t put on shows, Posey.” Then his pants were off, and he was in nothing but grey boxer-briefs. Very well fitted ones, ones that made it clear he hadn’t fully calmed down yet. Again, huh.

His hands went to the band. “Are you sure about this?”

I nodded slowly. I had to know that this was real.

When he started pulling them down, I looked away. Because I was a chicken. That was my spirit animal. I knew right then that I wouldn’t ever be able to have sex. How could I if I couldn’t even look at a naked person?

“Cupcake, it kinda defeats the purpose of this whole thing if you don’t watch me shift.”

“I know,” I said quietly.

“We can stop this right now if you don’t want to do this.”

I forced myself to look at him. I kept my eyes on his. My peripheral vision was kind enough to let me know he was naked. But I fought the urge to look down.

When he did it, it was quick. One second he was Nickolas, the next, a beautiful grey and white wolf was five feet from me. He was the size of a big wolf. Fully grown. White, grey, and black were all weaved gracefully into his fur along his side. His snout was almost tan down the middle with white on the sides.

I tentatively put my hand out towards him and he sniffed. He moved forward and I went back. He stopped and tilted his head to the side. Then he made a sound and I smiled and how silly it sounded.

“You’re very pretty,” I told him.

I swear I thought he nodded.

“You still know who I am?”

He was still for just a second, then he sat right beside me. He leaned in to sniff me and I stayed as still as I could. Wolfy’s nose touched me just under my jaw. Then he licked me.

“Oh… thanks.”

He soundlessly woofed. Then he nudged me with his head.

“What?”

He lowered his head and touched my hand with his nose. Then I almost wet myself when he put his teeth around it. Gently. So, so gently, and lifted my hand up, only to drop it.

I swallowed. “Maybe you can change back now, huh?” I sounded nervous.

He licked my neck again and moved back. He was facing me when he shifted back and I got an eyeful of what I was almost sure I’d be able to avoid. So, I guess I know what one looks like now…

Nickolas pulled his boxer-briefs back on and his face was troubled.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

He watched me for too long before he spoke. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

My eyebrows knit together as he started putting his pants on. “Then why do you look like that? I’m the one who should be upset. You licked me twice.”

He laughed but I felt like it was forced. “Sorry about that.” He grabbed his shirt and opened the door. He started walking as he put it on. “DAHLIA!”

He left me on the floor but I got up to go with him. I met up with him in the hall as Dahlia stormed up to him with her arms crossed and an attitude. “Are you still mad at me?”

He sighed. “I’m not mad. I just didn’t want you to scare Posey.”

“I wanted her to see. And I wanted to tell her that since she’s a fae, that meant that we can all be together forever. I thought it would make her happy.”

I tapped Nickolas’ arm. “What does that mean?”

He looked down at me. “We’re immortal too. We live until we’re killed. Like Nash. He’s pushing a hundred now.”

…Oh… that was something I wished I knew earlier. “How old are you?” He didn’t look as old as Nash did.

“I’ll be eighteen April.”

“June,” I sighed.

“MY BIRTHDAY IS IN JUNE TOO!” Dahlia yelled like it was a victory. She ran up to Nickolas. “I wanna play. Can we go into the backyard with Posey and run around?”

“Sure,” he reluctantly agreed.

“But I want wolf Nicky to play with me.”

He covered his face before he looked back at me. “Can you handle more?”

“Why not?”

She jumped up and down. “I’ll meet you out there!” She started running for her room.

Nickolas patted my back. “Me too. Just wait out there and we’ll be there in a minute.”

When he started walking, I held onto his shirt. It made him turn to me. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

He shook his head before he walked away.

I sat in the damp grass of the backyard as I waited for dogs to come and play with me. I was handling this better than I thought I would. It was real. No denying that now. I was a fae, whatever that meant. I assumed my abilities were something to do with the vision I had. But I would have to practice that later.

Dahlia came running out of the open back door with Nickolas trailing behind. Both were animals. Both ran to me like I was the center of the universe. Dahlia almost hopped as she moved to me. She ran around in a circle while Nickolas watched. He tried inching closer to me while he moved around his sister.

She jumped onto my lap and curled up into a ball. My legs were crossed and she put her head on my thigh, and her paw on my leg. I started petting her.

Nickolas watched me with his head at the side again. He sniffed at the hand I had on the grass, and looked at Dahlia. Then me. Then he started lifting my hand with his nose. He got his head under it and stayed still while looking at me.

“Do you want me to pet you?”

Woof.

Okay then. I petted his head and he made a sound of approval when I scratched him behind the ears. I smiled at him, and his tongue fell out of his mouth. He sat there, smiling a big wolfy smile, while I continued to pet him.

How the fuck was this my life?

Nickolas moved, and my hand fell away. He sniffed at me before he started rubbing up against me. When his eyes landed on Dahlia on my lap, he growled at her and she yipped at him. He slammed his paw against the grass and she nuzzled up to me.

I gasped when I saw him get her by the scruff and drag her off of me. She made a sound of protest when he dropped her in the grass. He put his head in my lap and his arm laid across me.

“Really? You just booted your sister so that you could lay on a person you don’t like?”

He looked up at me and cocked his head. I loved that so much, and part of me wondered if the boy was aware. Nicky hopped off of me, and walked around back. There was a quick tug on my shirt and I fell backward. I landed flat and with a grunt.

Nickolas looked down at my face before he laid the top half of his body over my stomach. His arms were across me and his head was down.

“You are being oddly affectionate.”

We lay there for a while. That was before Dahlia interrupted. She stood a few feet away and slammed her paws into the grass while her butt wiggled in the air. She jumped up and ran away a few feet. Then she stopped and turned back to Nickolas. And again. His head popped up like he was called to attention. He spotted her and took off, leaving me like I was nothing.

He jumped at her and she neatly dodged it. Then she started running around the yard while he chased her. He caught her a couple times. She always recovered though. He even let her get him a couple times. He fake howled in defeat when she did.

They played for a while before he nudged her to the door. She pouted as she moved back inside. Nickolas came back to me and nudged me to the door too. He pulled on my shirtsleeve with his teeth until I stood up. I petted him and he ran inside.

When everyone was dressed again, we met in the kitchen. Dahlia was a little tuckered out, so we played a fairy quiet game of Sorry. Then Nickolas eventually made dinner. He was so quiet the whole time. I didn’t dare try and talk to him.

“Can we finish 'Star Wars'?” Dahlia asked after we finished dinner.

“Sure.” Nickolas nodded sullenly before we headed into his room.

He went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of normal boxers and handed them to me. “You can sleep in these. The shorts might not be too comfy.”

I thanked him and left to change in the bathroom. It was late enough for jammies. I took my bra and the shorts off before I pulled the boxers and the shirt back on.

Then I went to Nickolas’ bed. Dahlia was lying on her tummy in the middle of the bed, while Nickolas was putting 'Empire Strikes Back' on. I got under the covers and waited for him. He paused for a second when he saw me, then he sat on the bed.

The movie started and Nickolas didn’t read to Dahlia this time. He hardly looked like he was in the room with us. His eyes were on the TV but he wasn’t seeing it.

Dahlia yawned about an hour into the movie, and I realized just how tired I was too. I fought it off as best I could. I started slumping over just around the time Darth Vader showed up on Cloud City. My eyes fluttered shut and I felt Nickolas’ arm against my head. Then a thought came to mind.

I was pretty sure I didn’t hate him.