Chapter 44 BREATHE
RACHEL
The word oxygen is English, not Spanish, but for some reason it sounded like Thane had suddenly started speaking Spanish. I was sure he said oxygen, yet my brain scrambled trying to figure out what it meant… or how I was even supposed to react to it.
“Have you…” he studied my face carefully, like he was reading a complicated textbook written across it. “Have you taken a shower yet?”
A response was already forming on my tongue when an embarrassing hiccup suddenly burst out of me.
I froze.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I hiccupped, and I absolutely hated that it happened right in front of him.
Thane sighed, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He walked to the table, grabbed the bottle of water sitting there, and handed it to me. “Drink.”
My hand moved like a thunder bolt, grabbing it and gulped the water down quickly. It wasn’t just the hiccup that disappeared. The cool water seemed to wash through my whole body, calming the rush of blood pounding in my veins while he watched me.
“You okay now?” he asked softly.
A drop of water slipped from the corner of my mouth, and his thumb brushed it away gently. “You need to be more careful next time.. ”
I pushed his hand away and looked straight into his eyes. Something I shouldn’t have done, but the way he'd been calm felt off. It felt like he was right there, yet still wasn’t. His eyes looked like they were holding back a thousand things he wouldn’t let himself say out loud.
“What do you mean…” I swallowed, trying to steady myself. “I’m your oxygen? I really don’t understand what I'm supposed to make of it.”
He frowned slightly. “Tell me which part you don’t get.”
I sighed in frustration. “All of it,” I blurted. “Sometimes you feel like this huge mystery book I’m supposed to figure out. Communicating shouldn’t be this hard, you know.”
He smirked again, this time like the comment actually meant something to him. “Alright. I get it now.” He stepped closer, but I didn’t move. I stood my ground as his fingers rose to my cheek, brushing softly across the curve of my cheek.
My eyes followed the slow movement of his thumb until it reached my lips. He dragged it gently across them, forcing my lower lip to part, like he was debating how long he could resist kissing me. Slowly, his gaze lifted from my mouth and locked with mine. “You want me to admit how crazy I am about you.”
His thumb slid down to my chin, tilting my face upward when it paused there. A soft gasp escaped me.
“You want me to admit how much I fucking hate myself for wanting you this badly… or that I’ve never craved anyone the way I crave you right now.” His words came gentle.
My breath caught in my lungs. My body went stiff, my eyes darting nervously. My lips parted, but no sound came out of it. My mouth had completely forgotten how to speak.
“You’re right, Shorty…” he continued, his voice rougher now. “I shouldn’t want you this much.”
He stepped closer again, pressing his body against mine as he lowered his head to the level of my face. Stopping just inches enough to feel his warm breath on my upper lips.
That was all it took. Heat shot straight between my legs, my clit throbbing instantly. Moisture gathered there like my body had been starving for him. His lips hovered above mine. Taunting. Daring. Like he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
“Now do you understand the effect you have on this?” he murmured. His hand pressed against his chest, right over his heart.
I swallowed hard, still unable to form a single word. Instead, I bit my lip and slowly stepped back.
He didn’t try to stop me. He just watched. I took another step back slowly. My mind wasn’t thinking clearly anymore, but my brain knew I was about to do something crazy. My fingers moved to the buttons of my shirt. One after the other, I started undoing them.
Thane’s eyes darkened immediately but he quickly covered it with a quiet scoff under his breath, clearly fighting the smirk threatening to appear on his face as I reached for my bra next.
“What the hell are you doing now?” he murmured, not moving from where he stood. But the way his chest rose slowly told me he was barely holding himself together.
My lips curved into a slow, mischievous smirk. Thane’s eyes dropped to my hands as I reached behind my back. I slid the bra off my shoulders and let it fall carelessly to the floor at my feet. His jaw flexed but he still didn't move.
“You know what,” I whispered, never breaking eye contact with him.
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it at the back of my throat. Part of me was screaming that this was completely reckless, that I was giving him too much to play me… after everything he’d done. The pushing away, the hot-and-cold reactions, the way he could make me feel wanted and invisible in the same breath. The worst part is how he claims he loves me and still somehow switched to something else I never understand… But the other part, the louder, stupidly hungrier part, was tired of fighting it.
I wanted him. God, I wanted him so badly it felt like being under a dark spell.
I wanted those strong arms around me again, the way they had been at the motel. That rough and desperate way. I wanted to feel his mouth on my skin, his fingers sliding between my thighs like he couldn’t stop himself like how he didn’t before. I wanted to hear him say my name like it was the only word he knew.
But I was also terrified. My legs wanted to walk towards him but it stopped after one step. What if this was just another moment for him? What if tomorrow he went back to shutting me out? What if I let myself fall this one last time and he walked away again?
Still, my hands didn’t stop. I breathed, relaxing my muscles, then hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my shorts and pushed them down, letting them pool at my feet, next to my bra. I stood there in nothing but my panties, my skin prickling under his gaze.
Thane’s eyes darkened even more. His chest rose and fell faster now, the muscles in his arms flexing as he fought to stay still.
I took another step closer, then another, until I was right in front of him again. My voice came out shaky when I touched that part of his chest that wouldn't stop beating hard and whispered, “You said I’m your oxygen. So… breathe.”