Chapter 43 OXYGEN
RACHEL
I thought I was angry at Thane a second ago… but the moment I heard his voice on the phone, the anger faded like a dying flame.
To be honest, I wasn’t really mad at him. I was worried. I kept wondering what had happened between him and Simon after the whole thing with Noah’s case. The way he sounded earlier didn’t sit right with me.
Right… Thinking about those two actually reminded me of something else. I honestly thought Tiara and Noah were somewhere having a serious conversation about everything that happened. Instead, I walked into my room and found them making out on my damn bed.
I shook my head. What could I say? Maybe I should learn from them. Have sex now, deal with the disaster later.
I grabbed my phone from the chair and turned the screen on. Surprisingly, Han Jae Hyun’s message popped up. It was damn wrong but I think I needed a real distraction from hooking my mind with Thane’s thoughts. I stared at Jae’s message.
Jae: Hi, Rach… Figured you didn’t want to call me after all.
I exhaled slowly before replying. Me: Sorry. I’ve just been busy. What’s up?
I totally forgot about him. After everything that'd been going on recently, I dount I'd even remember him if he hadn’t texted.
His reply came almost immediately, but before I could open it, I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. My body reacted before my brain did. I jumped to my feet. Fuck. Why the hell was I standing like I was waiting for him?
My hands quickly brushed through my hair before I forced myself back into the chair, trying to look like someone who didn’t care at all. Like some calm, careless girl who wasn’t waiting for a boy.
But the act completely fell apart the moment Thane walked through the door. My eyes landed on him and my chest tightened. He didn’t look composed. He looked wrecked. Like he had just crawled out of hell.
He didn’t say anything. And right then, I knew something was terribly wrong. I stood and walked toward him, but he closed the distance first.
“Uh… you okay?” I asked softly.
His eyes wandered everywhere except my face. “Yeah,” he muttered.
He lifted a hand to his temple, wiping sweat away. That’s when I noticed the blood. And bruises across his knuckles. My chest clenched painfully.
“Shit,” I breathed, grabbing his hand. “How did you get this?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he tried to pull his hand away. I tightened my grip but he still managed to slip free.
“Can you just stop pushing me away, Thane?” I snapped, the hurt from the car ride bleeding into my voice. I’m not some toy you can pick up and drop whenever you feel like it.”
He lowered his eyes. “It’s nothing, alright?” His voice hardened, obviously avoiding that part, though he still avoided my eyes. “I need a shower.”
I scoffed, but the sound came out shaky. “Yeah, I get it.” My arms crossed over my chest, trying to hold myself together. “First you kiss me like I’m the only thing keeping you alive, then you act like I don’t exist again. That's what you do now.”
I stared at him, praying he would deny it. Tell me I was wrong. Or say something. But he didn’t. Just like I feared, he walked past me and headed upstairs. Leaving me standing there. For a moment, I told myself to let him go. Forget everything. That’s just who he is, right? A player. A coward. Someone who only cares about himself. But something inside me twisted painfully.
Every time Thane tried to deal with things alone, it felt like some curse followed him. And if I let him walk away now… I knew I’d regret it. Before I could change my mind, I turned and ran upstairs. I didn’t even knock. I shoved his door open and stormed inside.
He had already taken off his shirt. Now he was standing there half-naked. But I didn’t care. I stopped at the doorway and glared at him.
“You know you’re a coward, right?”
His brows pulled together slightly, like he had no idea where that came from. I slammed the door behind me and marched toward him. Before he could react, I snatched the phone he had just picked up from the bed. “You’re going to listen to me when I talk.”
I stood firmly in front of him. Ready for a fight. But instead of anger, something else crossed his face. Something softer. Something broken. Like the world inside him was collapsing and he needed someone to hold it together. I didn’t know if that look came from exhaustion… or something deeper.
“You said you loved me,” I continued, my voice shaking despite myself. “And I believed you. Every single word.” My chest tightened so hard it hurt to breathe. “But people don’t treat the person they love like this, Thane. They don’t push them away the second things get hard. They don’t make them feel like they’re just… convenient.”
Tears burned at the back of my eyes, and I hated how vulnerable I sounded. “I’m not going to stand here and pretend what happened between us meant nothing,” I said, my voice cracking. “You can’t just switch off your feelings overnight. That doesn’t make sense. And I… I can’t keep pretending what you do doesn't affect me. It kills me, Thane.”
His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. Then he slowly turned to face me fully. The movement caught me off guard and I was startled a little. I flinched slightly when his hand lifted gently, brushing a strand of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
The softness in his eyes confused me. With Thane, you could never tell what he was thinking. And that terrified me. What if this was his way of avoiding the whole thing again? What if he was about to push me away one more time?
I pushed his hand away before he could touch my cheek and swallowed hard. Then I asked the one question I couldn’t hold back anymore. “What am I to you?” My voice came out firmer than I expected, but my hands were trembling. “I need a straight answer. Because I can’t keep doing this. Wanting you so badly it hurts, while also being terrified that you’ll just disappear on me again.”
Thane didn’t answer right away. His eyes searched my face like he was weighing something dangerous. Something he wasn’t sure he should say.
Then his lips parted. “My oxygen.”
My heart stuttered painfully in my chest. For a second, the air in the room felt too thin to breathe. I blinked at him, stunned.
Thane stood there calmly, watching me. But my mind was spinning. My chest tightened.
Oxygen? What the hell did he mean by that?