Chapter 39 SAY YOU WANT ME
RACHEL
“Yes, I think your body is hot,” I shot back defensively. “But that doesn’t mean I think you’re hot. There’s a difference.”
I tried to slip off him, but he tightened his hold and pinned me right back against his chest. The movement pressed my breasts firmly against the hard planes of his torso. My breath caught sharply in my lungs when it did. I could feel every ridge of his muscle, the steady thud of his heartbeat under my own racing one, the heat of his skin burning through the thin fabric of his singlet.
“Any idiot knows that’s the same thing,” he said dryly. “And don’t even try running away this time. I actually want us to talk.”
I scoffed, forcing a fake smile even as heat pooled low in my stomach and my thighs trembled where they straddled his hips. “About what?”
“Stop doing that, shorty.” His voice dropped, serious now. “I mean it. Let’s talk.”
I blinked, caught off guard by the tone in his voice. Being this close to him made it damn impossible to think straight. My hands felt useless too, like they’d forgotten how to do the one thing they were good at around him, like slapping him. But that would be completely off track right now. I could slap him, sure… but I couldn’t slap away what I was feeling, and that terrified me.
“Okay.” I nodded quickly. “First, I need to get off you.” my voice a little shaky.
A faint smirk touched his lips before he finally loosened his grip.
I slid away and sat beside him on the bed while he shifted to face me. I fixed my hair with trembling fingers, trying to regain some composure, but my pulse was hammering so hard I could feel it in my throat.
“You go first,” he said. “You’re the one who seems to have something important to say.”
I shook my head. “Actually… you go first. I’ll let you steal the spotlight.”
A tiny, part of me knew I was being a terrible friend right now, pushing Noah’s whole situation aside just to hear what Thane wanted to say. But I needed this. Dammit. Even if a part of me was terrified of what he might say. I needed to know where we stood after that kiss in the car.
“Um. Right. So…” His gaze dropped briefly, like he was choosing the words carefully in his head. “How messed up would it be if I told you I wasn’t sorry?”
My brows shot up.
He clarified quickly. “I’m talking about the kiss.”
“Why… are you asking me that?” I asked cautiously.
His eyes lifted onto mine. “We both feel this thing between us. I know you do.” His voice stayed calm but firm. “You can deny it if you want. That’s your choice. But I’m not going to pretend it isn’t there.”
He paused, rubbing the back of his neck like the words felt heavier than he expected. “I’ve been trying to ignore it,” he admitted. “But it’s getting harder every time you’re around.”
My heart skipped instantly as I watched him say the last line.
“I kissed you because I wanted to. And yeah… I’d do it again.” His eyes searched mine. “Of course… that’s only if you want me to.”
My fingers dug into the sheet so hard my knuckles went white, my heart starting to race like it had entered a car race of its own.
“STOP!”
The word burst straight out of my chest to my mouth before I could stop it.
What the hell was wrong with me?
My breathing doubled instantly as I jumped to my feet, legs unsteady. My skin felt too hot and a tight knot formed in my lower belly, making me suddenly desperate to escape the room. Every inch of me was hyper-aware of how close we’d just been — the press of his chest, the heat of his body, the way my thighs had straddled him only seconds ago. My pulse roared in my ears. I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t let him see how badly I was shaking.
“I’m sorry,” the words rushed out. “I’m full—I mean… I need the bathroom.”
God. That was even worse. Every single minute and seconds, I’d imagined hearing something like this from him. Even spent half the night replaying that kiss, hating how much I wanted it to happen again. And now he was saying it out loud. I couldn’t even stay calm long enough to process it.
Why was I reacting like this?
“Uh… alright,” Thane said slowly, nodding toward the bathroom. “You can use mine.”
“No!” I blurted quickly, panick spiking higher inside my chest. “I mean—it's fine. I’ll just use mine.”
He frowned, studying me for a moment. “Okay, now that’s just weird,” he said finally. “Don’t make me carry you there myself. I really don’t want to.”
A nervous broken laugh escaped me. At this point, I couldn’t control any of my reactions. Everything inside me felt scrambled. It wasn’t even the first time someone had confessed something like this to me. A part of me was desperate to hear more, the other part was terrified of what admitting it would mean.
But with Thane? I could barely breathe.
“Fine,” I muttered.
Before my brain could sabotage me again, my legs carried me straight to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, much louder than I intended.
Inside his bathroom, I walked straight to the sink, gripping the edges as I stared at my flushed reflection in the mirror.
What the hell was I doing?
I should’ve taken the first chance to speak earlier about Noah and Tiara, about everything. Instead, I let myself get lost in this… If I had, I could’ve escaped this whole situation without looking back. Now I was stuck.
I lowered my head, letting out a shaky breath. “You’re going to do this, Rachel,” I lifted my head and whispered to my reflection. “You wanted this.”
But the words barely left my mouth before my courage collapsed completely. I dropped onto the toilet seat with a quiet groan.
“Fuck… I can’t.”
My hands pressed against my face as I fought the urge to scream. If he heard me now, that would be the final level of embarrassment, and I was already halfway there.
Just as I finally forced myself to stand, a knock sounded on the door.
“Hey… are you alright?”
My heart jumped straight into my throat. “Yes!” I called quickly. “I’m fine. Almost done.”
To support my very obvious lie, I flushed the toilet. I took a deep breath, opened the door, and found Thane standing there.
He looked worried. “Are you avoiding me?” he asked quietly.
The softness in his voice made something heavy settle in my chest. I stared at him, unsure what to say.
“Rachel,” he continued, his voice lowering, “I’m honestly surprised at myself for saying all this. This… Confession… it’s new for me too.”
He ran a hand through his hair, almost like he was frustrated with himself. “I get it if you’re nervous. I am too.” His eyes stayed locked on mine. “But I’m trying here. I want you to understand how I feel.”
He took a slow step closer. “And believe me… I really want to kiss you right now.”
My breath went still. “But I need to know it’s not just me feeling this.”
My heart was beating so hard it felt like it might burst through my ribs. His hand lifted slowly, brushing against my cheek. The touch was gentle, almost careful. Heat spread across my skin as his fingers slid up into my hair, then down along my neck, his palm settling there like he was anchoring me in place.
“Do you?” he asked softly.
My entire body felt warm and unsteady under his touch. I nodded before I even realized what I was doing. His thumb brushed lightly against my jaw.
“I want to hear you say it, shorty,” he murmured, tilting my chin up so I had no choice but to meet his intense gaze. “Say you want me.”
I swallowed hard. “I want you, Thane.” my voice barely audible.
For a second, he didn’t move. His hand tightened slightly around the back of my neck, like he was making sure I wouldn’t disappear.
“You sure about that?” he asked quietly.
The question made my breath hitch. “Yes.”
His eyes searched mine, slow and careful, like he was still trying to decide if I meant it or if I’d panic and run again.
“You’re not drunk,” he said.
“No.” I swallowed.
“You’re not going to slap me again?”
A nervous laugh escaped me. “Not if you behave.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. Then his forehead dropped gently against mine.
His breath brushed my lips as he whispered, “Good.”