Chapter 38 LOVESICK IDIOT
RACHEL
“Hmmm… God,” I groaned, rolling onto my side with my eyes still closed. “Why is it ringing?” I muttered, still sleepy, trying to get myseelf awake.
My phone kept buzzing rapidly on the nightstand where I’d left it charging. I remembered closing my eyes for just a minute last night… and somehow it was already morning. I actually spent half of the night staring at the door, fantasizing about nonsense, like Thane blasting through my room door and confessing his feelings… then stuff should happen from there. I guess even sleep realized I was hopeless and decided to help me feel less miserable.
Finally, with a tired sigh, I forced one eye open and stretched my arm toward the phone. It slipped from my fingers, but my index finger hooked it just in time, only not well enough. It crashed straight to the floor.
“Shit,” I grumbled in defeat.
I rolled back flat on the bed, stared at the ceiling for a second, realizing I’d actually have to get out of bed to pick it up. By the time I dragged myself off the mattress and grabbed the phone from the carpet, it had stopped ringing.
I unlocked the screen. A flood of notifications popped up instantly.
“Fuck,” I muttered, pushing the duvet off my legs.
Ten messages from Tiara. And eight missed calls. Sleep slowly left my eyes.
The only times she ever blew up my phone like this was when she’d had a huge fight with Noah… or on my birthday. But this? Something was seriously wrong.
My stomach tightened. Without wasting another second, I tapped her number and called her back. As if she’d been waiting beside the phone, she answered immediately.
“What the hell, Rachel? I’ve been trying to reach you.” Her voice cracked at the end. My chest pounded slightly as I shifted on the bed. Was she… crying?
“Hey. What’s wrong? You sound awful.”
“I’m so fucked up, babe,” she whispered, a sob breaking through. “I feel like… oh God, I’m sorry.” Her voice broke again, like she was trying to hold back tears.
I was already out of bed, pacing the room. “Hey, hey. I need you to calm down, T,” I said gently. “Just breathe and tell me what happened. You’re scaring me. Is it Noah?”
“Yeah.” She swallowed hard, another sob slipping out. “Fuck… the tears won’t stop.”
That's right. I knew it. “I swear to God, T,” I snapped, anger slowly rising in my chest. “if that guy did something to you, I’m going to kill him…”
“My dad… he walked in on me and Noah this morning. On my bed.”
“What?” I blurted, anger replacing with shock.
The words hit me so hard I dropped back onto the edge of the bed. It felt like ice water splashing straight in my face. I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling a weight at the side.
“It was so messed up,” she continued, her voice shaking. “He didn’t yell or anything. He just… looked at us and walked out. Then the cops showed up out of nowhere and took Noah away. They said something about illegal races. I don’t know what to do. Everything happened so fast and I feel like it’s my fault.”
I didn’t know why I wasn’t totally surprised. I knew T was eventually going to find out about it either way just didn't expect it this suddenly. I felt really guilty for hiding it from Tiara that he'd been involved with it even before now.
Telling her that right now was the worse timing possible. My brain stalled for a moment, trying to process everything. But I thought Thane already helped him cover it up, how did this happen?
“Wait,” I said slowly. “Your dad reported him for that?”
“You know how that man is,” she muttered. “But honestly… I don’t think it was him. I really don’t know anymore.” Her voice trembled again. “How am I supposed to face him now?”
I exhaled sharply and kneaded my forehead. “Listen to me, this isn’t your fault, alright. You didn’t force Noah to race.“ I assured her. “I’ll figure something out, okay? Just do one thing for me.”
“What?”
“Stay home. Wait for me. And don’t do anything stupid.”
I paused. “T, do you hear me?”
She sniffed again before answering. “Thank you, babe. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I ended the call and sat there for a long moment, staring at the phone in my hand.
Tiara’s dad could be an easygoing man most days, but when it came to his daughter, he didn’t joke around. Noah was definitely in serious trouble this time. And with the illegal car race and the cops suddenly showing up… None of it really made sense.
But deep down, Tiara’s crisis felt too close to my own mess with Thane. The whole forbidden intense feeling between us, and the impossible factor standing between that gap. Especially the people that might get hurt in the midst of it all. The guilt of not telling her sooner mixed with the ache of wanting Thane even after everything.
I glanced at the clock. Just a few minutes past seven. I couldn’t be the only one trying to fix this. I needed to tell him about Noah. He had to do something too.
I pushed myself off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Using the new toothbrush I’d found there, I quickly brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face. Then I walked out and went straight to Thane’s room.
I knocked twice. There was n response. That left me with no choice but to push the door open. I slipped inside and shut the door behind me. Just as I turned… Thane stepped out of the bathroom.
Boxers hung low on his waist. Water dripped from his wet hair, sliding slowly down his chest and over the hard lines of his chest and abs.
I blinked rapidly. My brain completely flew out of my skull.
I kept staring until he stopped right in front of me, the strong, clean scent of his soap filling the holes in my nostrils.
“Hey,” he said roughly, dragging a towel over his hair. His muscles flexed with the movement. “I was actually about to come check on you.”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. My lips parted slightly as my eyes followed a droplet of water that traced down his chest. Heat pooled low in my stomach despite everything. My eyes didn’t stop following him as he moved across the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching me carefully.
God, why does he have to look like this right now? I came here to talk about Noah, not to… this.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice lower with concern. Definitely oblivion to how confused he just made me.
“I think…” I cleared my throat, forcing my gaze up to his. “Maybe I should wait until you’re dressed.”
I turned toward the door. Ready to bolt, but before I could reach it, his hand caught my wrist. He pulled me back. My balance slipped and I stumbled straight into him.
Thane fell back onto the bed, and I landed on top of him. Like, literally full chest to chest. I expected him to look just as shocked as I felt. Instead, he looked… amused.
A slow, smug smirk spread across his face as he slid one arm behind his head, completely relaxed. His eyes stayed locked on mine.
I came here to talk about something very important. So why the hell was I tangled up with him on the bed?
My heart started pounding harder. I could feel his heartbeat under me, fast and strong against my chest. Suddenly my whole body felt stiff, like my legs had forgotten how to move.
“I think you had something important to say earlier,” he murmured. His warm breath brushed my lips. Without meaning to, my eyes dropped to his. “I’m listening.”
My mind went completely blank. “Like this?” I blurted, my voice higher than I wanted. “I think you’re a clown if you believe we can have a meaningful conversation in this position. Especially when your hot body is on full display.”
The second the word left my mouth, I wanted to disappear.
Thane stilled beneath me. For a heartbeat, he didn’t say anything. His brows drew together slightly, like he was replaying my words to make sure he’d heard them right.
“Hot?” he repeated slowly, the corner of his mouth twitching. His eyes lifted back to mine, calm and far too curious. “You think I’m hot?”
Oh God.
Heat flooded my face so fast I felt dizzy. That one stupid adjective hung between us like a spotlight. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud. I hadn’t meant to admit anything. But now it was out there, and the way he was looking at me — steady, intense, almost uncomfortably amused — made it impossible to take it back.
My brain completely went on impromptu vacation. I became incapable of forming any single coherent sentence. All I could focus on was the solid warmth of his body beneath me, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the faint scent of his soap still clinging to his skin. I was still lying on top of him, thighs straddling his hips wishing to do more, my hands braced on his bare chest. Every inch of me felt hyper-aware of every inch of him.
This is so unfair. How is he so calm when I’m literally melting?
Last night, I'd slammed the door in his face like I was doing it with my feelings too. This morning I was sprawled on top of him in nothing but his oversized shirt, calling his body “hot” like some lovesick idiot. I wanted to crawl away and hide. I also wanted him to pull me closer and kiss me again, properly this time, without the fear or the apology.
The worst part? I was still lying on top of him, and neither of us was moving to fix it.