Chapter 126 The conversation

Chapter 126 The conversation
Elara's POV

I woke up with a headache. My eyes felt too heavy to open.

I had cried way too much last night.

For someone who didn't deserve it. Or rather, didn't care.

The funny thing was, I couldn't even remember the last time I had cried like that. This days, Jayden was always connected in one way or the other to anything that made me cry.

Yet despite knowing that,  I still allowed myself to develop feelings.

I still allowed myself to hope, and imagine things, a future with that fucked up heartbreak.

Worst part? I couldn't even blame his mother that she had been the one to put ideas in my head, because I knew... Right from the time he stared at me at the library, the imaginations has already begun clouding my head.

I slowly turned onto my side, burying my face into the pillow as I let out a long sigh. I wanted to sleep some more. I wanted to pretend yesterday never happened. If I kept my eyes closed long enough, maybe I could convince myself that I had imagined everything.

But no matter how hard I tried, the images wouldn't leave my head.

Walking down the hallway.

Seeing Zia come out of Jayden's room.

The smile on her face.

The way she looked so... satisfied.

It replayed in my head over and over again until I squeezed my eyes shut.

I really had been an idiot.

Jayden never lied to me.

Not once.

He told me from the very beginning that this marriage was nothing more than a contract. He never promised me forever. Never promised me love. Never even hinted that I was special to him.

Somehow, I was the one who forgot all of that.

Yesterday... for the first time, I let myself believe there could actually be something between us.

The way he looked at me.

The way he held my hand.

The kiss.

Everything felt real.

It felt like we had finally crossed that invisible line between us.

A bitter laugh left my lips.

Turns out I was the only one who crossed it.

A knock sounded on my door, pulling me away from my thoughts.

I ignored it.

Maybe if I stayed quiet, whoever it was would leave.

Another knock followed.

Then another.

"Elara."

The moment I heard his voice, my body froze.

Of course.

Who else would it be?

I closed my eyes, hoping he'd take the hint and leave.

Instead, another knock came.

"Elara."

Still, I remained silent, but I got down from the bed, walking towards the door.

As soon as I opened it, Jayden's face came to view. He had tried to step closer, to explain, but I didn't give him a chance.

Before any more words could leave his lips, I slammed the door shut and returned to the room, hugging the pillow while trying to force myself back to sleep.

It didn't work.

A few hours later, the twins came to my room and began clamouring about how they wanted to go out.

They didn't like being couped up.

I needed fresh air as well.

Anywhere I could be away from Jayden.

After thinking about it for a while, I accepted yo take them out to the park.

The kids left my room first to get ready.

No sooner than I got out of my room did Jayden appear in front of me.

"We need to talk." He began, blocking my path.

His hair was messy, like he had been running his fingers through it all morning. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked just as exhausted as I felt.

If this had been yesterday morning, seeing him like this would have worried me.

Today...

I couldn't even bring myself to ask if he was okay.

"I need to explain something to you. I didn't have anything to do with Zia, I..."

"Jayden. Mr. Bryes, you don't owe me any explanation." I interrupted him, trying to keep my tone neutral.

But...

Fuck neutral.

Looking at Jayden, my lips pulled up into a small smile. My hand went to my hair, tucking a loose strand behind it.

"Sincerely, at first I was hurt. It felt like my heart was being squeezed, and I found it hard to breathe." I began, laughing slowly to hide the hurt.

His expression immediately changed.

The relief he'd worn after seeing me disappeared, replaced by guilt.

He took a small step forward, but I didn't move.

I simply stood there, holding onto the edge of the door like it was the only thing keeping me upright.

"Elara..." He tried to speak, but I shook my head.

"I kept on blaming you with tears in my eyes, wondering why the hell you did that to me. But then I realized, you don't owe me anything. You were right. Right from the start, you made your stance clear. You didn't break my rules, you didn't change, I was the one somehow got blinded by my feelings for you."

Every word that left my mouth made my chest ache all over again.

But strangely enough... Saying it out loud also made me feel lighter.

I had spent the whole night blaming him.

Only to realize that I should have been blaming myself instead.

"Elara please." My chest tightened as I heard Jayden's pleads. For a man who hardly ever said that word, it felt like something really huge to hear it from him.

I could feel cracks forming on my resolve as I stared at Jayden's broken expression.

"I never meant to hurt you. I don't remember what happened last night."

I stared at him for a few seconds.

He looked sincere.

Desperate, even.

But sincerity wasn't enough anymore.

Not after what I had seen.

"I'm the one with the bad memory, yet you don't remember? Let me jolt it for you."

His lips parted slightly, but he didn't interrupt me this time.

Maybe because he already knew what I was about to say.

Or maybe because he di You had a good time with your fiancee."

The silence that followed was unbearable.

He didn't deny it.

He didn't agree with it either.

He simply stood there looking at me, as though he wanted to say a thousand different things but didn't know where to start.

"Elara..." He wanted to say something more, but... I was done talking about this.

I sucked in a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling before speaking. "From now on, please... Please let's keep whatever is between us strictly professional. There would be no more going out of the contract, no more breaches from anyone."

His eyes widened almost immediately.

It was as though those words hurt him far more than I expected them to.

"You can't mean this. Yesterday we had a connection, I thought that we finally understood each other. I thought we were getting better."

A bitter smile found its way onto my lips.

Connection?

Maybe we did.

But whatever connection we had clearly wasn't strong enough.

"Oh please, we both know you didn't think that. Even if you did, you ended the day yesterday with your fiancée, so... yeah."

The colour slowly drained from his face.

For the first time since this conversation started, he looked... defeated.

Like he was slowly realizing that there was nothing he could say to make this better.

"I have just one more month here. One month, and then just like the contract states, I'd leave. I'd leave and never return, me and my boys."

Those words hurt me just as much as they hurt him.

Because despite everything...

A part of me had imagined a different ending.

A happy one.

Apparently, life had other plans.

"Where are you going to?"

His question caught me off guard.

Out of everything I had just said...

That was what he wanted to know?

"I don't think it's stated anywhere in that bloody contract that you get to know my every movement."

His jaw tightened.

I could tell he wanted to argue, but instead, he chose his next words carefully.

"If your father..." I snapped my head at him and Jayden immediately corrected himself.  "If Hillary Ashford lurks around you, how am I supposed to protect you if I don't know where you are?"

His concern sounded genuine.

It probably was. That was the entire reason I was in this mess wasn't it?

But right now...

I didn't have the strength to think about any of that.

"The park. I'm taking my kids to the park."

I didn't wait for him to say another word. My fingers tightened around the doorknob before I slowly pushed the door shut, ending the conversation. The moment it clicked closed, I rested my forehead against it and closed my eyes.

This was for the best.

It had to be.

At least we've had the talk.

No maybe I could move on.

But...

A tear slid down my cheeks.
Who was I kidding, it hurt.