Chapter 122 Not allowed to touch

Chapter 122 Not allowed to touch
Jayden's POV

I didn't have to wait too long for Elara's answer. Maybe if she had taken a bit more time, I would have turned around and walked away.

"Hey." She pulled the door open. A smile appeared on her face as soon as she saw me.

"Hi." I waved a hand at her, unsure of how to react.

With the smile still on her face, she spoke again. "What are you doing back here?"

I never left, the words were just at the tip of my tongue, but thankfully, they never left my lips. Elara already thought of me as countless things. I would hate for creep to be added to the list.

"Can I stay here?" I asked cautiously.

Just as I expected, Elara was shocked by my request.

"You..." She blinked, then turned around to look inside her room before returning her eyes to me. "You want to sleep here? With me?" she asked as though she had just heard the craziest thing.

Judging by the way she said it, she had something else in mind.

Naughty...

I couldn't help but smile before shaking my head. "Not like that, little temptress."

Even if I wanted to, it wouldn't be today.

"I just want to sleep here," I answered. "I can't go to my room."

Elara's lips parted, making an "oh" shape, before she finally nodded. "Okay." Then she shifted to the side, creating space for me to walk in.

Thankfully, she had agreed to sleep in a separate room from the twins because it would be hard to explain to them what I was doing in her room if they happened to wake up.

"I know we kissed," Elara began as she adjusted the sheets on the bed, "but... keep your hands to yourself here."

A chuckle left my lips.

Taking off my shoes, I fell onto the bed and patted the space next to me. "As long as you're allowed to touch me, it's alright."

Elara rolled her eyes, but I noticed the small smile that appeared on her lips.

She hopped onto the bed as well from the other side. She lay flat on her back at first, but after a while, she turned to face me, placing her elbow on the bed and using her hand to prop her head up.

Immediately, I closed my eyes, trying to pretend to be asleep. Of course, she didn't believe that.

"Why don't you want to sleep in your room?" she asked as though the question had been on her mind. "It's probably bigger and better than mine."

Because my room was cold.

Because I would be suffocated with guilt.

I knew the answers to her questions, but I couldn't tell her any of it.

Instead, I did something else.

I wrapped my arms around Elara's waist and pulled her closer to my chest.

"Hey..." She tapped my chest playfully. "I said you should keep your hands to yourself," Elara said with a giggle before her hand finally relaxed on my chest.

I opened my eyes and immediately met hers. This time, they were a brighter shade of blue.

"You also said that we shouldn't kiss, but you initiated it."

"No." She began drawing circles on my chest, lowering her head. "I only said that you shouldn't kiss me. I can do whatever I want."

A yawn left her lips.

"Sleep," I said softly, and as though under a spell, she closed her eyes. "Hm..."

My eyes lingered on her face. Then, without thinking, I leaned in to plant a kiss on her forehead.

If only I couldn't hurt her.

...

There was a knock on the door, followed by someone's voice.

"Ma'am, please come down for breakfast."

I heard it, but I kept my eyes closed, hoping to enjoy a few more minutes of sleep.

But the lady in my arms stirred.

This time, the voice was a lot closer and familiar. I opened my eyes to see Elara staring at me.

"Jayden?" she called, her tone carrying a hint of worry.

"Hey, good morning."

"Oh my goodness, you slept here?" She pulled away from my arms. "I thought you would be gone by morning."

Wait... it was morning.

It was only after Elara mentioned it that I realized I had indeed overslept. My eyes darted to the blinds, where a few rays of light peeked through the open spaces.

I truly had slept.

Elara, on the other hand, panicked. "Zia is going to murder me if she finds out that you..."

"Relax." I interrupted her, sitting up. "She's probably already downstairs."

It was a bit late. Mother would have called everyone downstairs for breakfast by now.

Elara whispered an okay, nodding as she got down from the bed. She then pointed at a door. "I'll just go to the bathroom."

I got down as well. "Then I'll be returning to my room."

We just stood there for the next few seconds, staring at each other until I took a step towards Elara, and she ran to the bathroom.

...

I had just turned a corner when I saw Elara.

"Hey..." A smile appeared on my lips.

"Hey..." she replied, and then we began heading downstairs together.

It was quiet for most of the walk until Elara decided to break the silence.

"How was your night?"

"It was amazing." I didn't bother to hide it. "Any time I sleep next to you, I never seem to have nightmares."

She stopped walking to look at me.

"You have nightmares?"

"Once in a while," I answered nonchalantly. I could tell she had a few more questions to ask, but thankfully, we had already gotten to the dining room.

"Elara, Jayden, you both finally decided to come down." My mother said with a huge smile and directed us to our seats.

Breakfast was going great until Zia decided to remind me of the date.

My appetite disappeared instantly, and I stood up.

"Excuse me."

Then I walked away.

Being with Elara made everything feel fine. I had already begun to believe that the worst was over and that I could be happy, but Zia's reminder popped that bubble.

She didn't remind me just because she wanted to check if I still felt the usual pain and guilt... which I still did. She wanted to make sure I remembered that she still had dirt on me.

She was indirectly trying to tell me that if I messed with her, she would reveal my secret and expose what happened seven years ago to the world.

Of course, I caught on to that. But I wasn't in the mood to be threatened. The pain and guilt came back even stronger.

As soon as I got to my study, I pulled the door open before locking it. A breath left my lips, and I leaned against the door, my eyes closed and my body trembling.

Zia had just reminded me that I had no business being happy because Jane was dead.

By the time I opened my eyes, they were bloodshot red.

Slowly, I pulled away from the door and began walking towards the wine cabinet.

"I can't believe I forgot your birthday," I mumbled to myself, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and a glass before walking towards the swivel chair.

I could forget her birthday, but I couldn't forget the day she died. It was as though all the good memories of her were slowly fading away, leaving only the bloody ones.

Opening the bottle, I poured myself a full glass before setting it back down.

I grabbed the glass and, without thinking, poured the contents down my throat, gulping it as though it were water.

The burning sensation in my throat was the only thing that could dull the pain in my chest.

The more I drank, the better I felt because I couldn't feel anything.

One other person could do what alcohol did.

Elara.

But Zia's warning was clear, even with just a few words.

Stay away from her, or I'll destroy you.

I could handle everyone else finding out the truth, but what would Elara say when she found out? Would she still look at me the same?

I didn't need anyone else to answer the question for me.

She wouldn't.

Grabbing the bottle, I began filling the glass again, then stopped midway.

"What's the use?" A murmur left my lips. Shifting the glass aside, I brought the bottle directly to my lips.