Chapter 121 I should leave

Chapter 121 I should leave
Jayden's POV

HOURS AGO

The few weeks I had taken off from managing the company were almost over. I had just a few days before I would have to return to work, but no longer as just the grandson of the owner, but as the CEO as well.

Finally, everything I had worked for was within my grasp, but it wasn't enough.

The huge bed felt hard and uncomfortable beneath me. Every time I closed my eyes, the same scene flashed through my head, forcing me to relive it all over again. Eventually, I sat up, my eyes darting towards the alarm clock by my side.

11:58.

Two more minutes until tomorrow.

Until the day she died.

Seven years had passed, yet the memories felt as though it were yesterday.

I could still hear her screaming for help as I drove by. A picture of Jane's bloody body flashed through my mind. There was a huge gash from her head to her cheek, her beautiful eyes were shut, and her clothes were soaked in blood.

"Ah!" A gasp left my lips, and I forced my eyes open, which had somehow been closed. I glanced at the clock again.

12:01.

My nightmare had just begun.

A sigh left my lips as I stood up, slowly walking towards the door without any destination in mind.

Every year, it was the same thing. The pain which I had managed to suppress for over three hundred and sixty-four days came all at once.

My chest felt like it was being stabbed multiple times with every step I took. Because no matter how hard I tried... I could still see her face.

Her once-bright eyes were clouded with fear, and the way she stared at me, the little hope in her eyes.

My feet took me to the library, and I walked in.

I could see her face in every corner. This was her favorite place in my mansion. The place where she smiled the most, laughed the most, and spent most of her time.

My eyes roamed around the room, which was filled with books.

I only ever came here once a year, on this day, every year.

Ever since she died, I stopped collecting books. I wanted, as much as possible, to preserve every good memory she had left.

But being in the place she loved most still couldn't take away the nightmares. The good memories refused to cloud the bad ones. But they at least made the day a lot more bearable.

I stretched my hand out and grabbed a book before walking to the nearest table.

No Second Chances, the title read. It was one of her favorites. She had read it more than thrice, and every single time, she would end up with tears in her eyes.

I placed the book on the table, staring at the cover.

On it were two people, a woman and a man. The man sat in a wheelchair, his eyes never leaving the woman's frame. One of his hands was stretched out as though to touch her, while the other rested on the wheel. But the lady was looking away with her arms crossed over her chest.

I hesitated as my hand touched the edge of the cover.

There was no need to read the book. Jane blabbed about every book she read to me every day.

This one was about a man who fucked up.

According to her, he had an affair with his wife's oldest friend. When she found out, she left him. The man was happy for a while until he began to realize that his wife was really gone.

The friend couldn't cook as well as his wife.

She wasn't as obedient as his wife.

She didn't love him like his wife.

So he decided to put her away and get his wife back. On his way to her house, he got involved in an accident which claimed both his legs.

He became a cripple.

When he awoke, the first person he saw was his wife.

He pleaded with her, explained how much he had changed, and told her he wanted her back.

But she refused. She had only come to check up on him because of how long they had been married, but they had nothing together anymore. She showed him the ring on her finger.

She was engaged.

He lost out.

Every time she had spoken about the book, I had agreed with the author. Of course he should lose out. He cheated. He deserved it.

But now I understood the reason she cried.

He made a mistake. But life not only punished him, it made it almost impossible to take her back.

Maybe if he still had both legs, the wife would have considered it, but... her past love wasn't enough to make her take care of a cripple.

I flipped the book to the very last page, my eyes lingering on the words that were written on the back.

"...Maybe if life had given him a chance, his love would as well."

It was Jane's handwriting.

I ran my hand over the words and felt my vision slowly becoming blurry. It wasn't until a tear fell onto the book that I realized I was crying.

Closing the book, I wiped the tears with the back of my hand, only to hear the sound of something—or someone—hitting something.

My body turned quickly, my eyes alert.

A figure caught my attention.

She was sneaking away from me, walking as quietly as possible.

"Elara..." I called, and she halted before slowly turning around.

It was her.

We ended up talking.

Speaking about Jane for the first time in a while didn't feel so hard. Or maybe it was just because it was her. It happened before as well, in the kitchen.

She listened, and I could feel the pain in my chest lessen.

It felt nice.

She accepted my apology. Another burden was lifted off my chest.

She made an attempt to leave, but I stepped closer to her.

I didn't want to let her go.

Being with her made me forget the pain I was supposed to be feeling.

But I didn't just want to stare at her, I wanted more. So much more. But the contract... Elara already didn't trust me. I couldn't make it any worse.

She wanted the same thing as well. I could see it in her eyes. But she didn't trust me not to break her heart.

I didn't trust myself either. But I was willing to try.

The second Elara's lips touched mine, I lost my senses. Only for a second, then I kissed her back to show her how much I missed her. There were a lot of things I couldn't say. I could only hope she got the message through the kiss.

After almost five minutes of intense making out, I pulled away from her so she could breathe. Both of us were panting breathlessly.

My hands went to cup her face.

"You're beautiful."

The words left my lips as a whisper.

Her already flushed cheeks looked even redder, and she lowered her gaze.

"So, now what?" she asked after a while.

That... I didn't know the answer to. All I knew was that I was tired of pretending not to care. Or maybe it was just my fear speaking.

I couldn't lose her, not like I lost Jane.

We spent about ten more minutes together before Elara admitted that she was lost and had no idea how to get back to her room.

I wanted to suggest she stay longer, but instead, I offered to take her back.

Because I didn't want the walk to end, and neither did I want to part ways with her, we ended up taking the longest path to her room.

But even with how slowly we walked, eventually, we got there.

"Thank you," Elara said, playing with her hands as she stood on the other side of the door. Then, flashing me a small smile, she placed her hand on the door as though she wanted to shut it. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I replied, and she shut the door.

I stood still for a few minutes, staring at the closed door.

I should leave, I told myself, but my feet refused to budge as images of my cold bedroom flashed through my mind.

Every year, on this day, I preferred to be alone. But now that I had seen how Elara's presence silenced the voices in my head, how could I return?

If I did, the grief would consume me.

No.

Even if it was just for a few hours longer, I wanted to enjoy the silence.

So, against my better judgment, I raised my hand and knocked on the door.