Prologue
As I stand here on the balcony of my resort suite, overlooking a beautiful blue ocean, a slight breeze is in the air enough to take the wretched heat away. I look down at myself in disbelief that I am once again wearing a wedding dress. With my wedding less than an hour from now, my life replaying the last 3 years in my head. I never thought I would find love again. Let alone get married. I didn’t expect it to find me when I wasn't looking for it. I was determined to have a new life and focused on returning to reality as a new person.
I lie down on the 2-person lounge chair in my beautiful white wedding gown. I watch as it blows in the breeze. At my first wedding, I had a long flow strapless chiffon dress, with a sweetheart neck, baby doll style, and some simple beadwork under the bust. This time I wanted something different, but now that I lay here, soaking up the sun, I realize this dress is not so different, it is long enough to hit the floor, and it still flows in the wind, but this time I went with eyelet lace, shoulder straps, a round low cut neckline, and the same sort of baby doll style. It reminds me of a free spirit, I got my hair done in what I would call a hippie style, it’s all up and braided and the braids are all twisted into a bun. I put hair chalk in one strand to represent something blue; I am wearing a subtle floral headpiece with Japanese cherry blossoms. As I relax, I can’t help but let my mind wander back to when it all began 3 years ago.
I could not tell if I was coming or going most days, I had moved back in with my parents and had completely given up on life. This wasn't the way my story was supposed to happen. I had a plan, goals, dreams, and a future, but life sometimes goes differently. Sometimes life throws you a giant curveball, just to see how much you and your heart can handle and in my case, it almost broke. I was 25 wild and free. Only at this specific time, I had no idea what to do with my life. I couldn't continue working at the resort or stay in Orangeville. I had lost my entire reason for existing. As I mentioned, I moved back in with my parents in good old Port Colborne, a small town where everyone knows everyone and knows each other's business. So, when I tried to go out or try something new, there was always someone who would give me a look of pity or a whisper about what happened. Then one day out of nowhere I woke up determined to start over, to find a new calling. So, I made a list of all the things that made me happy:
Creating- I'll become an artist and sell my work, but I just couldn't create from a positive place. Everything ended up having scribbles on it because I would get upset or frustrated.
Food or baking- I love to cook bake and design cakes. At first, this was going great. A few friends ordered some stuff but then I started being too hard on myself and realized I am only one person, and this is more of a hobby.
Then it was the same thing with photography, jewelry making, and home décor, so I decided I needed the social interaction of strangers, people who didn't know my story, and who I could start over with, so I joined a dance class outside town. At first, I enjoyed how easy it was to get lost in the music and routines. Then as time went on, I realized I was kind of good. I've found my new passion, my new adventure in life. The next thing I knew I was applying to dance Academies anywhere I could. I wanted to dance or to help athletes and/or professional dancers, finally after what felt like forever. I checked the mailbox and there was an acceptance letter from the Toronto School of Dance.
knock knock knock I'm brought back from my daydream.
“Molly, are you in there? Can I come in?”
Aw, it’s my previous Mother-in-law, I can tell by the voice.
“Yes, I am here, out on the balcony.” As I stand up from the lounge chair, Denise enters my room. The deadbolt is on my door, propping it open since my family has been in and out all morning. I come in from the balcony, in the doorway I look at Denise who is in a stunning purple dress just like she wore at my first wedding.
“Oh, Molly you look beautiful just as you did when you married Jeremy, honey, he will be looking down on you today beaming knowing you are happy again.” With tears in my eyes, I give Denise a huge hug, “Thank you for coming it means so much to have you here.”
“I have something for you I know you have shoes, but I couldn't resist, and it brought back so many memories.” Denise hands me a box, I open the box to a pair of blue flip-flop birks just like the ones I wore on my wedding day with Jeremy. I slip the flip flops on and the butterflies hit my stomach at that very moment, I realize how real this is, and how lucky I am to be able to do this a second time in my life.
“I know it sounds weird, but I feel ready like I've been given Jeremy's shoes to walk in down the aisle.”
We exchanged one more hug and I walked her to the door, as I pulled the door open my dad was on the other side. Dad and Denise exchange hellos. Dad turns back to look at me with a huge smile.
“Hey, kiddo, ready?”
“I am now.” I lift my dress to show my dad the flip-flops he chuckles “Some things never change eh kid? You don't need me to hold you up today.” He doesn’t have to explain, I know what he means. We leave my room and head down to the beach.