Chapter thirty four
Lenarya's p. o. v
There's more?.... I slowly went to sit on the couch in the room so that I can be more comfortable. Zeus joined me on the couch before clearing his throat and continuing with his story.
" First of all I would like to address the fact that I was abusive towards you along with the obvious fact that you deserve better than me and no..... lenarya dont try to defend or stop me. You and I both know that I am not the best mate out there but am too selfish and inlove to let you go....... not to mention the fact that I can't imagine seeing you with another guy , talk more of actually seeing you with him. This does not make it right and it is not an excuse for the shameful and unforgivable way i treated you when we first met. ........ i had just gotten a letter from Ryan on that day and the letter was threatening me which made me angry and then i hear that a rogue has somehow managed to trespass in my land which made me mad but then i heard that Emma was found which kind of cooled me down for a bit but when i saw you there................ i... it.. i.."
Zeus stopped for a minute and ran his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath and saying " i was having an off day and i had already lost hope in terms of ever finding my mate especially after experiencing your near death experience and Veronica's drama, i just felt like I was never destined to have a mate so imagine my shock when i see you for the first time........ your scent.... your eyes.... your beauty.... your voice..... your body..... my wolf growling mate over and over again..... all that drove me crazy..... it made me so happy but confused at the same time . I couldn't trust my wolf because he never objected when Veronica came along and he is the one that had told me my mate was dead, so i didn't trust his judgment when it comes to mates but please believe me when I say that i am absolutely sure that you are my other half without a doubt , I hope you know that. ........ "
He looked straight into my eyes before he continued speaking and said " i wanted to believe that you really were my mate but i couldn't bring myself to , every time I considered the possibility of you being my mate i would remember how Ryan had threatened to destroy me and so i thought that he or someone else had sent you. Yes..... Zane and i felt the mate bond but we were both suspicious and agreed that it was too much of a coincidence that you came into my life just after Ryan had made his hate for me and need for revenge known to me....... i wanted to believe you , i wanted to believe my feelings, i wanted to mate with you there and there but i couldn't. ...... I couldn't allow anyone to toy with my emotions and make mockery of me and so........ i acted like an ass to you , i abused you , i behaved like such a monster towards you...... GODDAMNIT! Lenarya will you stop trying to cut me off. ..... i know how horrible a mate i am , all am doing is saying the honest truth and that is that i am a Monster! "
I tried to cut him off again, Nemmy and I could no longer stand to hear all the self hatred that coated his words as he said terrible things about himself "look lenarya i get it..... you deserve better, i agree... we both know that I don't deserve you. I had caused you great pains and my past is not an excuse for what I did....... I am a horrible mate and I accept that which is why I understand that you will never forgive me and talk more of loving me but my love for you is enough for the both of us....... i won't ask for your forgiveness , even if you never love me, i will be ok if you just don't hate me.... you don't have to say anything, i know that as of right now you hate me but-............."
Thank the goddess he finally shut his mouth, I couldn't stand it any longer and all it took to shut him up was a delightful , slow and delicate kiss .' We should have kissed him earlier.' Shut up Nemmy you making me blush and now he is looking at me..........
I took in a deep breath and said "ummmmm i have forgiven you.... you know....."
And then he just....