Unburdening

Unburdening
Alice watched him leave, her eyes misty. She didn't agree with the part where he said that their child would suffer because they didn't love each other. She was sure she could give all the love in the world to that baby. Even knowing that it would tie her to a bad marriage with Robert Graham, nothing could prevent her from loving Ethan without limits. She would love him so much that the last thing he would lack was love. Unlike Robert who, for whatever reasons, possibly personal ones, never approached her during her pregnancy. He left them there, abandoned, forgot about them, and showed no interest in either of them.
She knew that the things Robert mentioned weren't just excuses; he was simply answering her questions. But more questions formed inside Alice, almost like complaints, as if it was necessary to have this conversation with the man who once was her husband, the father of her child.
She dried her eyes and ran a hand through her hair, picked up the brochure, and left the room.
Robert was entering his office when she appeared in the hallway.
Alice had all these feelings, and she hadn't realized how much she had accumulated over time. Who was she going to talk to? It was Robert; it was Robert she had to tell each and every one of those things.
Would she keep holding onto all that? Would she feel that sting in her heart every time she saw him? She didn't want to hate him, and she had no such intentions no matter how much he insisted with his actions. But if Alice didn't vent, she would end up ruining everything. It would be impossible to maintain a stable working relationship.
She did what she hadn't thought of doing, at least not on the first day of work, but that day was becoming a day of venting. It was Robert who opened up that conversation with his apology and the topics he touched upon, when Alice thought she had locked them deep down somewhere. The things she had to tell him, she would. It was necessary to have that conversation they never had before because Robert would just come and go and not return for months on end.
It was necessary. They were already divorced, separated, but working together would bring many complications if she didn't let it all out.
Alice entered Robert's office without knocking or announcing herself, spotting him by the window with his hands tucked in his pockets. He turned toward her as he heard the door open.
Miss Taylor closed the door behind her and made her way toward him, fully intending to vent and voice her grievances about the husband who was always absent.
"Why did you abandon us?" The words hurt to say, to utter them in front of him. She had asked herself that question over and over, to the point that she was just grateful Robert didn't come back, that he wasn't there. But deep down, it pained her immensely that he left her alone during her pregnancy. "Why did you leave us?! Why?! You hated me instantly, and then... then you never returned." She placed her small hands on the man's chest, wrinkling his tie between her fingers. "You abandoned us, Robert."
He too could feel the pain in Alice's words.
"Why would I stay with someone who loved someone else? Why did you want me there, Alice? Do you think it would have been better? Do you believe anything would have been different? I don't think so; things happened that way, and there was no other way they could have unfolded, not with the two of us. What don't you understand? The marriage was a mistake, and you were in love with someone else."
"You never loved me, Robert. You don't love me, you feel nothing for me. You never felt anything. Love wasn't a requirement for that union."
"I also wasn't in love with someone else, Alice." Robert immediately regretted saying those words when he saw the look in Alice's eyes. He took her hand off him and walked to his chair to sit.
Those were words he shouldn't have said, especially when Alice quickly grasped the implications behind them.
"Did you think we could fall in love?" Robert's face shifted from its usual expression to one of embarrassment, tinged with a mix of nostalgia and anger. She said it as though it was impossible. And how did he feel? If he came into the marriage with those thoughts, what did he feel or had felt? The man stared at his hands resting on his lap and let out a sigh. He knew Alice was deeply in love with Jared. He didn't want to continue this conversation, but he had a feeling Alice would keep going regardless. "Since neither of us wanted that wedding, I thought it would be a good idea to start by saying I loved someone else, and I believed I had to tell you I was in love with another man. Everything was a mistake, from marrying to not trying to get to know each other. But your attitude, Robert, wasn't the best back then."
"Do we have to continue this conversation? Where is this leading us, Alice?"
"Do you think we shouldn't discuss this? It's important that we have this talk!"
"Why?!"
"Because we need to vent!"
"Fine! If that's what you want." Robert's mind drifted to that ceremony. It was grand, with many attendees, from both the Graham and Taylor families. The greetings, the hugs, the brief talks that accompanied the congratulations, being polite was the norm. Even if the marriage wasn’t for love, they were both there, already wed. But his new bride's eyes were everywhere, scanning the crowd, greeting absentmindedly. What was she looking for with such fervor? And when her eyes landed on Robert... that look, those eyes revealed so much. They made it clear to Robert just how much Alice disliked him, even after accepting the marriage. He wasn't Jared and he would never be. The bride's eyes were searching for Jared Sinclair. "During the wedding... you were looking among the crowd, Alice. Throughout the ceremony, you were searching for Jared. On our wedding day, you were looking for him. There didn’t have to be love between us, but at least that day, you could've focused on what was in front of you." Him. Ignoring him the whole time because the only thing she cared about was whether Jared was there. "And then what did you want? To be sweet and candy-like when you confirmed to me that yes, you loved someone else? I didn't expect you to feel anything for me right away, we were strangers. But I also didn’t expect you to reject me without even knowing me, Alice. I may not have a reason for everything I did, but I..." Could he voice it? He ran his hands over the new desk, making an eternal pause for Alice.
"Say it, Robert," hissed the young woman.
"I did believe we could fall in love after getting to know each other, that something might emerge during that marriage. I didn’t marry you to make your life miserable. Part of me gave up when I realized that avoiding the wedding was a lost cause and I had many plans in my mind for the beautiful Alice. Obviously, that vanished that day."
Each had different memories of that day playing in their minds. 
For Alice, Robert had hurt her first. 
While for him, she had destroyed something within him at that wedding, making him colder, deeply wounded even without being in love.
And he could never forget Alice's gaze, giving it various interpretations, ranging from superiority to disdain.
What else could be said? Had everything been said?
She dragged her feet to the door and left the office.
Perhaps both were content with what had been voiced.
Robert rested his head on the cold wood of his desk, closing his eyes.
"Why does it have to be her? Why Alice Taylor?"
He didn't want her close, but after that talk, he realized it would be more complicated than he imagined to be near her, setting aside the schemes Henry Taylor was plotting. Alice would be a complication.
He didn't like her new look towards him because it made Robert very confused. Why did her gaze now take on another meaning?
He began to fear looking into her eyes. He didn’t want to do that anymore.
He went to the door and locked it, ensuring she couldn't enter again if she decided to. Enough of conversations that only distracted him. He was there! He had to focus on his goals! Not waste time thinking about Alice Taylor, his beautiful ex-wife.